This week, I thought you might like to have my latest update of the Free Writing Tool.  Even if you haven’t been utilizing the Healthy Mind Toolbox Audio Course, you might find this tool helps you become aware of emotions you may be inadvertently holding inside your body.  Bringing these emotions into your awareness will give you a chance to release them, release tension in your body, and relax into healing.

Download the Free Writing Tool here.

Both the conscious and unconscious mind can be an incredibly powerful tool in returning to good health.  Using mental tools to reduce pain, reduce anxiety, allow healing, and improve your emotional state can only help the healing process.  Even better, these mental tools work perfectly alongside physical medical treatments to improve their efficacy and speed healing.  Using the healing power of the mind is a side-effect-free treatment that can be added to any medical plan.

To understand the deeper aspects of mind body healing, you have to understand that thoughts and emotions do not reside only in your brain.  They live everywhere in your body and affect every cell of your being.  For example, think of the muscle tension you feel when you are stressed or afraid.  You can imagine emotion as a vibration within your physical body- almost as if you are a musical instrument and each emotion is a vibrating string.  Different frequencies of emotion feel different inside your body – when you’re happy, you might notice yourself feeling energetic and light.  When you’re depressed, you might notice a lack of energy and a sense of heaviness in your body.  Recognizing this connection between emotion and the physical body can help you see the power of working through negative emotion to release it from both your mental and physical self.  Not only will you feel better mentally, you will also remove something that affects your body negatively. 

Thoughts and emotions are so closely intertwined that you might have trouble recognizing their connection.  Sometimes they happen almost simultaneously, so it’s difficult to separate them and take a good look at what you are thinking.  When you do take this step, you discover the ultimate power of the mind.  When you step back from your thinking, you diffuse its power.  From this place, you can change your own thoughts, change your own emotions, and create a healing environment within your physical body.  Many of us are trying to heal but have poisonous thoughts and emotions traversing our bodies.  I remember thinking primarily negative thoughts that simply fed my despair and hopelessness as I suffered through physical pain.  When I finally realized how much impact my emotional state had on my health, I set to work figuring out ways to improve my emotional state.  I learned deep breathing techniques, sought therapy, tried hypnosis, wrote in my journal, meditated, listened to healing music, sought acupuncture, and finally, worked through my own negative thinking using Martha Beck’s tools. 

Using all of the concepts I learned from these alternative healing modalities, I created a system that worked for me.  I researched the mind body connection out of sheer passion and fascination.  The more I learned, the more I loved the whole approach to healing.  Now, I am privileged to have found a career that includes studying the mind body connection – it just doesn’t get any better than that.  Having stumbled through my own healing process, using myself as a guinea pig, I can share with you a positive, enjoyable, powerful, life-changing combination of tools for allowing the mind and body to work together in harmony.  My hope is that you will find hope and possibility as you read each week’s post, and that you will discover the incredible power of your own mind as you take your journey to fabulous health. 

If fear is in your driver’s seat, it is time to take back the steering wheel and connect with your own inner navigation systems.  Fear is a terrible driver with an awful sense of direction.  You, on the other hand, are a brilliant driver with a personalized GPS installed inside you.  All you have to do is learn how to use it. 

The first important step to taking back your steering wheel is to realize when fear has ripped it from your hands.  This sounds simple, but it is not always easy.  Noticing your own thinking and realizing you’ve been hijacked by repetitive, anxiety-creating thoughts takes a little practice.  First, you have to notice your own fear, panic, or anxiety.  Then, you can take a minute to step back and look at the fear as separate from your true self.  Notice that it comes from a different part of you than your intuitive, relaxed self.  In her latest book, Steering by Starlight, Martha Beck explains that fear, panic, and anxiety have their roots in the very animal part of the human brain.  She calls this the “lizard brain.”  Recognizing your lizard brain as soon as it starts taking over can immediately give you a chance to grab the steering wheel before fear shoves you aside.

I spent a great deal of time in complete lizard-based fear mode when I first began dealing with the chronic pain of interstitial cystitis.  I gave fear the steering wheel and didn’t even bother to watch the road.  Let me just tell you, that was not a wise decision on my part.  My lizard brain was so certain I would never recover normal bladder function and would suffer IC symptoms for the rest of my life that it went completely nuts.  I imagine it literally, as an actual lizard, reaching out with little lizard claws in every direction, grasping and scrabbling at everything it found.  It researched like crazy, becoming very obsessive and intense, and spent hours combing the internet and reading books.  Then, it decided to try every single therapy option available, be it medical, holistic, dietary, or just a rumor.  It tortured me with one cystoscopy after another to confirm that yes, my bladder was a mess.  Then it pushed me to try various infusions of drugs flushed into my bladder and held inside for an eternal thirty minutes.  It urged me to take various medications.  Finally, after little success, it took the advice of a doctor and decided to take a couple Tums daily.  This seemed to help the symptoms, so without seeking medical advice, my lizard brain decided that if one Tums helped, a zillion would be better.

Fast forward three months to the results of that experiment: me, writhing in agony on the emergency room floor, a kidney stone lodged in my body.  Too much calcium, it turns out, is not a fantastic idea.  That stubborn kidney stone required emergency surgery, which then had to be repeated twice.  I spent the next six months dealing with infections and horrific kidney pain.  All of this, I must say, was far worse than any of my IC symptoms. 

Sadly, I could give you more examples of ways my lizard brain took over and wreaked havoc in my life.  It took me a long time to learn the lesson I am sharing with you now, in the hope that it will save you at least a little mental or even physical suffering.  When I learned how to notice my own fear and see it as a separate part of my mind rather than regarding it as absolute truth, I was able to recognize the thoughts perpetuating the fear.  These thoughts ranged from, “I have to try everything, because otherwise I might miss the one medication that helps,” to “Oh, God, I cannot take this, make it stop NOW.”  Recognizing anxiety-causing thoughts and realizing they may not be true is the second step to regaining the driver’s seat.

My own thinking, stuck in lizard mode, took me in all the wrong directions.  When I learned to stop, take a few minutes to do deep breathing exercises and allow calm to have a fighting chance, I discovered my inner GPS, which I like to call my Inner Healer.  Simply stopping, becoming still, and breathing allowed me to tap into this amazing navigational system within myself.  I noticed that when I did this, I could make decisions about everything based on my own GPS guidance.  I knew, intuitively, which medications were worth trying and which weren’t.  I knew which doctors to call, which alternative medicine routes to explore.  I even knew which books to read and which internet sites to peruse.  If my Inner Healer signaled No to a resource, I dropped it and moved to something else.  Listening to your GPS gives you the courage to stay in the driver’s seat, certain you will always know which way to turn.

I now sit firmly behind the steering wheel, my GPS calibrated to peace.  It directs me flawlessly, every time.      

Working through these emotions to reach a place of centered calm can make surgery and other health issues much easier to face and experience. My client, Gwen, worked admirably and faithfully on her own thoughts prior to the surgery.  Our own thoughts, if we let them, can alter our perception of reality and create lots of unneeded stress in our lives.  Living in the land of “What If,” for example, causes high levels of anxiety.  When we first started working, Gwen had lots of What If’s – what if the surgery doesn’t go well, what if there are unforeseen problems, what if the doctors will not clear me for surgery…and more.  The What If Syndrome is a common problem for those of us who have been or are ill.  I remember many of my own What If’s from my experience with vulvodynia and IC.  What if I never get to have a normal sex life again?  What if I can’t have babies?  What if, what if, what if… 

Thinking this way removes you from the present and places you firmly in the future – a future much worse than the one you want.  It creates a mental picture of a future you do not want, and then you dwell on it, repeatedly.  If you’ve seen The Secret or done any reading about the Law of Attraction, you know this isn’t going to bring you what you long for, which, I’ll assume, is health.  Law of Attraction aside, thinking repeatedly about a negative What If can only increase your anxiety and panic levels, making you feel unhappy, stressed, and depressed. 

Gwen and I worked together on her major What If – What If they call off the surgery.  As we talked through it, Gwen realized that as of the current moment, the surgery was still scheduled.  She already had exactly what she wanted.  So focusing on the thing she didn’t want made no sense.  The reality was, the surgery was going forward, and nobody had said or done anything to alter this.  Gwen was creating her own mental pain by thinking ahead to an unwanted future event.   

It is true that most What If’s could indeed come to pass.  But why create mental anguish by even considering them?  Of course thoughts pop into your head, and perhaps a What If or two will catch you by surprise.  But you have the power to choose to believe the What If or not.  The future is always unknown, always unavailable to us.  We can only live now, and even if we are in the midst of something uncomfortable, the reality of it is often much less painful than the stories we tell ourselves about it.   

Gwen’s surgery did happen as planned, and she is now in the recovery phase.  More importantly, she was not terrified, panicked, or anguished about the surgery itself.  She went into surgery with a calm state of mind, for which, I’m sure, her body thanks her.  She tells me she dreamt she was in Jamaica the whole time she was under anesthesia.  Now that is a truly happy mind.

If you’re listening, that is. 

All of the panic, fear, anxiety, anger, and depression surrounding your health issues do a fantastic job of blocking the communication between you and your essential self.  To communicate with her again, you need to discover the thoughts behind all of your feelings.  Those thoughts (remember the Thought Log?) are in your head making a lot of noise.  You can’t hear your essential self through all that ruckus.  All you hear is, “I’ll never get over this,” “I can’t stand this anymore,” “everyone else gets to have a normal sex life and I don’t,” and on and on and on… 

The amazing, awesome essential self is a major key to your return to health.  You absolutely want to contact her, because she is very wise.  In Finding Your North Star, Martha shows you how to access her so you can discover your true purpose in life.  For those of us with health issues, your essential self takes on a new persona.  I like to call her your Inner Healer. 

Your Inner Healer, when she can be heard, will tell you what is right for you every step of the way through your medical crisis.  She will tell you when a doctor is not the right doctor for you and when you’ve found the exact doctor you need to see.  She will tell you whether or not the medication you’re considering is really something you want to try or not.  She will tell you what alternative medicine avenues are right for you.  She will tell you what you need to do on your own to help yourself heal.  She is a genius.  But she has a very soft voice – probably because it’s hoarse from trying to shout over the noise of all those panic-creating thoughts.   

The fastest way to talk to your Inner Healer is to enter that relaxed state of being (discussed in previous posts) in which you watch your breath and remain very quiet.  As you quiet your mind, releasing your hold on your thoughts, and focus on your breath, you will start to feel an inner calm.  Stay in the breath until you feel this – it may feel like a floating sensation or just a very relaxed quiet.  It might help to take any thoughts that pop in your head and imagine them scrolling across a page and then disappearing.  Don’t panic if you don’t hear any messages or don’t have any flashes of intuition.  Simply keep returning to this place as often as you can.  Soon, you will feel moments of knowledge – you will just know what is right for you.  Very peaceful yet insistent ideas will float into your head.  Sometimes these happen during the meditative state, and other times they just happen randomly.  I often hear my Inner Healer the most right at the end of a meditative session.   

I’ll be talking to you about my Inner Healer in future blog posts, so I wanted to introduce you to the idea today.  Have fun with this – your Inner Healer is a blast to get to know (she’s the person I was talking about in my last post – the one who rocks).  See if you can meet her and start the flow of communication today. 

I remember this feeling well.  I was living in a beautiful little house only a mile from the ocean with lots of friends, a great husband, a really cute dog, and a good job.  From the outside looking in, my life was great.  Inside me, however, everything was dark, black, and unbearable.  I had struggled with depression prior to my vulvodynia diagnosis, but the onset of physical symptoms seemed to bring a whole new level of depression into my world.  I couldn’t find it in myself to enjoy anything, even if my symptoms were slightly less at the moment.  I was too busy worrying when they’d be back, stronger, and whether or not I’d have to live this way forever.  All I could think about were the things I was missing out on and the life I wanted but did not have. 

Looking back on this time, I have a lot of compassion for this me who was suffering so much.  She was in as much emotional pain as she was physical pain, and remembering brings a wash of gratitude into the center of my chest for what I have learned from her.  She went through a lot to bring me to where I am now, and she was a warrior.  She refused to collapse into that black hole of depression and instead took a learning journey right through it to the other side.  She faced the darkness by accepting where she was right then and allowing herself to learn from it.  That is a most humble, self-loving place to be, and I am still in awe of her ability to be there in the face of physical pain.   

I think of it as surrendering.  It felt like it, at the time – I was waving my white flag and saying, “Okay, I’ll stop fighting.”  Realizing the simple truth – I was where I was, no matter how much I resisted, somehow released me from my own mental nightmare.  I know the minute I stopped fighting, stopped resisting the experience, was the minute I began healing.  I didn’t heal overnight, and I quit expecting to heal overnight.  I quit looking for someone outside of me to give me the perfect answer, because they couldn’t.  I turned inward and found the only expert available on myself – Me.  Not the me thinking all those crazy-making thoughts (I’ll never get better, etc.), but the Me beyond those thoughts.  The deeper, smarter, wiser, calmer, intuitive me.  She rocks.   

Let me just introduce you to page 51.  Well, you’ll need to read up to this page to truly understand it, but even if you only read this much of the book (but how, oh how, could you stop there?!!) you would discover an essential piece of information about healing.  On this page, Tolle talks about identifying with a physical problem or illness too much.  In other words, your identity becomes tied up with the illness in your own thoughts – you think “I have vulvodynia,” you say “I have vulvodynia,” and you do both frequently.  It becomes the central focus of your life.  “Since I have vulvodynia, I can’t…”  Or, “If I didn’t have vulvodynia, I could…”  Your thoughts focus on vulvodynia frequently, if not constantly.  You can no longer separate yourself from this illness.  You can’t imagine life without it anymore, even though you long for just that – desperately.   

Read page 51 carefully, because if you can release yourself from this kind of thinking, you will move toward a state of mind that invites healing rather than blocks healing.  You are not your illness.  You are you – the illness can come or go.  If you tie yourself to this illness and think about it constantly, the illness cannot go.   

You are you. 

Who are you, when you think of you without vulvodynia?  Does that very thought – that you are you, not you with vulvodynia – bring you a tiny sense of relief?  

 I reached a point, brought on perhaps by the endless doctor’s appointments, where I just got tired of the word vulvodynia.  I felt irritated every time someone said it.  I felt silly saying it.  I felt embarrassed saying it.  It just didn’t seem right to even say the word in connection with me.  I think my inner self was speaking up, rejecting the illness and the word and asking for health.  I stopped saying “I have vulvodynia.”  I stopped reading about vulvodynia.  I threw the word out of my vocabulary.  When I felt symptoms, I said to myself, “I’m a healthy person who has some symptoms right now.  It’s okay.”  It no longer mattered what those symptoms were, why I had them, or whether or not they were going to go away.  They just were.  Nothing else.   

This was the major turning point in my return to health, the beginning of my discovery regarding  the power of the mind and emotions, and the beginning of my journey towards life coaching, my true North Star (to use Martha Beck language).  So when I read page 51, I felt a welling of gratitude for Tolle, who is sharing with everyone this powerful, incredible secret.   Vulvodynia does not describe you.  You are more than your thoughts, so step outside of them with the breathing techniques I’ve mentioned previously and just discover what you are thinking.  Jot down thoughts that seem prevalent or quite painful in your Thought Log.  It’s always incredible to see what you’re thinking and then to realize you don’t have to buy into it – you are not your thoughts.  You are you.   

I include my iPod in pretty much every breathing and relaxation session I do.  Music is far more powerful than we can even fathom, though someday perhaps science will be able to measure more and more of its effects on our minds and bodies.  Including music in your relaxation session will increase your body’s relaxation response, as long as you use music that you find soothing, of course!  I am a violinist, so I tend to prefer very new age, non-melodic music.  Otherwise, I find myself following the music rather than my breath.  Try different kinds of music and explore what feels right for you.   

Exploring the many recordings of music written specifically for healing can be fun and fascinating.  A lot of people are researching and studying the idea that music has healing power, and it’s really no secret that music influences emotions.  Find the perfect music for you and your switch from panic to peace will be quicker and longer lasting.  As for sound healing, well, I have an open mind.  It certainly can’t hurt to listen to music performed specifically for healing purposes (Dr. Andrew Weil has a fantastic recording that also includes guided imagery).  I have found healing music to be profoundly relaxing, enjoyable to listen to, and very mood-enhancing, which is perhaps the very secret to its power.  The emotions we feel affect us physically, as you know, so the more we can move from negative to positive emotions, the better we will feel mentally and physically.

Besides, with your headphones on and soothing music blocking out other noises, you pretty much can’t help but relax.  It makes it even easier to focus on the breath and invite relaxation into your mind and body.  Some of my favorite sound healers are Jonathan Goldman, Kimba Arem, and Steven Halpern.  Once you start exploring this fascinating genre of music, you just might get hooked – on the sounds, the feelings, and the healing.

When you push the panic button, you also push the adrenaline (and other stress hormones) button. Your sympathetic nervous system is activated, which is what surges your body into fight-or-flight mode.  If you are continually feeling fear and panic, you are continually running your sympathetic nervous system, which I compare to running the heat in your home on hot summer days.  Not only does your electric bill go up, but you suffer discomfort.  Your body is not comfortable continually using the sympathetic nervous system, and it will let you know via increased pain.  You won’t feel well, and you won’t heal.  You will be expending useless energy (electric bill up) that could be focused toward healing.   

The parasympathetic nervous system is in charge of your relaxation and is the part of the autonomic nervous system you want to access.  The more you can power down from your fear and panic state into a calm, restful state, the more you can access your body’s own ability to heal.  This is the second reason to take those ten minute breaks to focus your breath and invite it deeper into your body.  The breathing technique creates a relaxation response in your body by activating the parasympathetic nervous system and immediately pulling you out of your fight-or-flight overdrive.  Moving into this healing state and evoking the relaxation response several times a day will only help both your emotional state and your physiological healing. 

Do you see the genius of your body/emotion connection?  Your emotions serve beautifully as messages to you – little reminders to pay attention.  Fear and panic are your internal sticky-notes reminding you to return to a relaxation response.  The more you listen to these emotions rather than focusing on them and return to your healing state, the better you will feel emotionally and physically.  Soon, you will be spending more time in a healing state than in a fight-or-flight response.  This will feel about ten million times better to you, even with your symptoms still present.  Your symptoms will not be as strong, and your emotions will not be as intense.  Ah, sweet relief. 

Here’s how you can push the un-panic button.  Find a place where you can be alone for ten minutes.  If you can lie on your back, go for it.  You might even cover yourself with a blanket, as that tends to be a soothing feeling for most people.  It’s time to soothe both your body and mind, so you need to feel safe, as comfortable as possible, and quiet.  Close your eyes, and follow your breath for ten breaths.  Watch the breath go in, watch it go out, and notice the feeling you have inside your chest.  Now move the breath a little deeper – no forcing, just gently expand your ribcage further this time.  Think about your ribs expanding to either side.  After a few of these breaths, allow your breath to fill from a lower point in your pelvis.  Imagine it filling your entire pelvic region before it comes up into the chest and ribs.  If you feel like yawning or taking a quick, full breath, follow this instinct.  Then move back into the deeper breathing. 

As you feel more comfortable with this healing breath, allow your mind to move to a prayer or mantra.  Make sure that whatever you say to yourself is kind, loving, compassionate, and gentle.  You might try, “I am safe right here.  I don’t need to do anything but breathe.”  Or, “The breath is relaxing me and bringing healing energy into my body.”  Anything that feels comforting to you is perfect.   

After ten minutes, the breath will have done its magic.  You will feel more relaxed, released from the panic, and ready to step back from the thoughts you were thinking as the panic escalated.  You might even take a minute to write down what you were thinking and look at the powerful negative statements that create your panic.  You now have a tool to use against these statements, so you no longer need to fear them.  You are taking back the power of your own emotions.