Feeling emotions without knowing how to deal with thoughts can feel very overwhelming.  Why?  Because thoughts create emotions.

Thoughts and emotions are both energy in your body.  They are linked to each other energetically, which is a really important point to understand.  If you try to change thoughts/beliefs without feeling emotions, you’ll discover that thoughts recycle and come back into your mind even after you’ve worked on changing them.  Think of thoughts and emotions as having a connecting energetic cord between them.  Throw out the thought without the emotion and the cord is still there, keeping that thought in your consciousness.

When you do emotional work, you quickly discover lots of beliefs you probably didn’t even know you were thinking.  Our unconscious thought patterns drive our emotional lives, our actions, and the results that come from those actions.  If you discover a thought you didn’t even know you were thinking – rejoice!  There’s another mystery uncovered, allowing you to move forward.

For example, I used to struggle immensely with overeating.  I haven’t written about it much, but I spent most of my early twenties fifty pounds overweight.  Every time I ate to suppress emotions, I also suppressed thoughts.  Working through that confusing tangle of fear, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, grief, and the accompanying nest of thoughts took some time.  I remember one day, late in this process, when I sat down to eat dinner.  I felt really upset, and I allowed myself to feel the emotion.  Into my consciousness popped a thought:  I shouldn’t eat anything.

Now, my logic mind realizes this thought is completely ridiculous.  But I felt as though it was true.  It was buried so deep in my unconscious that I had to work through layers and layers of emotions and thoughts to even discover its existence.  After I did, however, I was able to release that belief using thought-work (such a the Byron Katie process called The Work, which I discussed recently in the post Coaching Myself).

Allowing and processing your emotions while also working with your thoughts gives just the right one-two punch to these tangled nests of painful energy in your body.  It is not a linear process.  You’ll sometimes feel confused, frustrated, or lost.  That, of course, is why coaching is so helpful.  But, if you want to do it on your own, you can.  Just know that you’ll need to take it slow, learn bit by bit, and be gentle with yourself.

Think of this as an archaeological dig.  Feel an emotion layer, find a thought layer.  Work that thought layer, discover another emotion layer.  Work through several emotion layers in a row, discover more thought layers.  Sometimes you’ll be working a thought to try to open up to emotions.  Other times you’ll be feeling emotions for a few days to discover the thoughts driving them.  There’s no set formula or pattern.

The good news is that I’m developing lots of new ways to help you with this process!  With the impending site makeover, you’ll have new resources.  But, those are just the beginning.  I’ve got some AMAZING stuff in the works that will help you access emotions and work thoughts more easily.  And, of course, I’ll be writing more about thought-work!