If you’re drowning in emotions and feeling uncomfortable or still not sure how to access emotions at all, then this post is for you.  The answer to either issue is the same.  Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed by emotions, it’s time to look to your body for answers.

Emotions are PHYSICAL.

The word “emotion” comes from the root phrase  “energy in motion.”  Emotions are energy in our bodies.  For example, when we feel anxious, we can feel that energy.  It feels like something is humming at a high pitch in our bodies.  Depression, on the other hand, feels slower and lower.  I always think of emotions as musical pitches, since I am a musician.  Emotions are vibrational energy, just like musical pitches.  Tuning into the pitch you are currently vibrating means paying attention to your body.

To start, BREATHE.  Take three slow, relaxed breaths, paying attention to the feel of the air as it passes through your nose, into your throat, and down into your lungs.  The breath is the bridge between body and mind.  Cross that bridge by paying attention to how your breath feels as it moves in and out of your body.

Next, notice where you most feel the current emotion as a physical sensation.  If you can’t yet name the emotion, that’s okay.  Just pay attention to the physical sensation and begin describing it to yourself.  What does it feel like?  Is it hot, cold, sharp, tingly, tight, loose – what color is it?  What would you tell someone else, to really explain in detail how this emotion feels in your body?

It’s a very simple technique, but it allows your mind to focus on your body throughout the sensation of the emotion.  Don’t be surprised if the emotion leaves or dissipates quickly.  It’s usually our resistance to the emotion or our focus on the thoughts we’re thinking that hold the emotion in our bodies.  Observing it physically allows it to pass, as it is meant to, from our bodies.

As you’re doing this process, remember this:  It’s okay to feel uncomfortable.  It won’t last forever.  In fact, by feeling it this way, you’ll be much LESS uncomfortable than if you suppress it, as it will only return much stronger if you do so.

You might feel like you’re doing an awful lot of feeling.  You might feel like you have a lot of emotional ups and downs.  You might think you’re silly for being so “emotional” or feel different in your own skin.  This is all perfect.  Welcome to the world of being Emotion Smart.  This is the journey, and you’re on it.  Congratulate yourself!

When you just feel an emotion as nature intended, it is not overwhelming.  It might feel uncomfortable, but it passes from your body, usually within about 20 minutes.  To get started, you’ll need to pay attention to your body, which holds all the keys to emotional wisdom.

It’s easy to spot emotional suppression.  It shows up as physical tension somewhere in your body.  If you are hoping and trying to access emotions but don’t know where to start, here’s a formula for you:

1)   Scan your body, starting with your hands and feet.  Spend a few minutes really focusing on them.  Describe them to yourself.  You might use temperature words, descriptive words, or sensation words.
2)   Finish scanning the rest of your body.  Where do you notice the most tension?  What does it feel like?  Describe it to yourself.
3)   Ask yourself what emotion is being held in this place of physical tension.  Sit with that question as you pay attention to the physical tension, and just wait.  If no answer comes, no big deal.  Try again later.  Just check in with that tension and be present with it.  Eventually, you will discover an emotion rising up within you.  The only way to keep an emotion out of your awareness is to tense or tighten muscles in your body (which we do without even realizing, so no worries!).  Therefore, it makes perfect sense that paying attention to that place of tension will help you access the emotion.

Stay tuned for more about emotions next week.  In the meantime, keep practicing these steps toward emotional awareness, as you’ll need this skill daily on your journey to health.

Got questions?  Comment away!