However, the reason I natter on about it is this: Listening to your inner wisdom is actually one of the most important (if not THE MOST) elements of healing, stress-relief, and creating a life you truly love.

Learning to hear your inner wisdom, trust it, and follow it is the shortcut to everything you want.

It’s a seriously awesome life hack.

Got pain? Got stress? When you don’t know how to access your inner wisdom, you rely on others’ guidance, pressure yourself to do things the way others think you should, go against your gut, feel confused from all the conflicting information out there, and end up with tension, pain, and stress. You pressure yourself constantly and try to live up to your inner ideal, because you have no clear guidance from within to clarify what’s really right for you.

You get hooked on others’ approval because you have no other way of knowing if what you’ve chosen for yourself is “right.” Yet, everyone has different opinions, so you find yourself spinning from the various feedback – and, of course, it’s impossible to please everyone. Trusting your inner wisdom takes the pressure off and releases you from the approval trap. It releases tension and stress. It brings you back to self-awareness and knowledge about how to best care for yourself.

It is counter-culture to ask your inner wisdom before you Google it.

Even though I have learned to trust my inner wisdom, it took a long time to apply it to every aspect of my life. For nearly my entire adult life, I’ve bounced from one food plan to another, read a million diet and nutrition books, and generally felt completely lost about what to eat.

After researching nutrition for this many years, there’s only one thing I know for sure: pretty much all food is either good for you or bad for you, depending on your resource. Eggs – BAD! No wait, GOOD! Grains – GOOD! But only whole grains. No wait, now grains are the devil. Except in France, where white flour is perfectly healthy. Olive oil – GOOD! Except, don’t eat very much of it, because you should be focusing on coconut oil. Don’t eat meat. Do eat meat. Only eat organic meat. Mushrooms are the best thing, ever. No, actually, they are bad for your digestion. And, let’s not forget – gluten will basically kill everyone. Yet, I am willing to bet you a million dollars that in fifty years, gluten will be re-discovered as the most potent healing nutrient a person can eat.

To make it even harder, many experts will fervently explain to you why their food plan is really the ONLY healthy one, and all others are causing dreadful, deadly inflammation inside your body that can’t be seen, but is absolutely killing you. (This is why I love Dr. John Sarno, who has debunked hundreds of scary health issues, including inflammation, by using his highly effective TMS protocol.)

Finally, I started doing something radical: eating according to my inner wisdom. I’d had such success with pain-relief due to following my inner wisdom that I figured it might work. (Interestingly enough, it took me much longer to apply this to food than it did to physical pain – the result of so many years of brainwashing myself that someone else knew more about what I should eat than my own body.)

Now, when I hear nutrition advice, I filter it through my inner wisdom. Then, if it feels right, I try it, checking in with my inner wisdom the whole way.

I didn’t even think of parenting from my inner wisdom until my daughter was several months old. Then, I realized that all the parenting books, while somewhat helpful, were only useful if I started with my inner wisdom and then used them to figure out how the different pieces fit together.

Now that I’ve realized inner-wisdom is the key to everything, I treat every situation like this:

1. Check in with inner wisdom
2. Experiment with what it’s told me to do
3. Follow my inner wisdom to any new resources – which usually help me understand how the inner wisdom information was accurate and is working

This way of solving problems saves time, eliminates confusion, and keeps me grounded in myself. I’m certainly not perfect at it. I’m guessing trusting one’s inner wisdom is a life’s work and a pretty big part of this being human thing.

To get started, close your eyes and ask your inner wisdom this question:

What is your guidance for me today?

Then, listen quietly for a few moments. Sometimes you might hear a clear answer within yourself. Other times, it may take time for you to realize an inner knowing around a situation or issue. You might see images or hear short one-word answers at first. The more you ask the question and listen inward, the more you’ll understand the responses you get. It takes time to cultivate this new practice.

I get a lot of remarks from people that sound like this:

“I don’t know how you do what you do, or how you do all the things you’re doing!”

“You are so lucky!”

“How are you making that work?”

“You’re just magical, so it works for you.”

The truth is, I’ve just given you my big secret. I was forced to learn to listen to my inner wisdom, trust it, and follow it when I experienced years of chronic pain. (Which, trust me, did not feel magical or lucky at the time.) That was the only road that took me back to health. Then, I realized that’s basically the best life-hack for everything. I live my life completely backwards from the cultural norm. I check in with my soul before I research, take action, or try to figure something out with my mind. Quite often, I take action long before my mind understands why or what I’m doing.

A year ago, I moved from one city to another. I truly had no idea why. When people would ask, I had no clear answer. I had some ideas about what the reason might be, but they were just guesses. I was following my inner wisdom.

All I know is, when I listen to my inner wisdom, things work out for the best. I heal. I feel good in my body. I eat foods that give me energy and work for me. I live in cities that feel great for me and my family. I have success in my coaching practice. I enjoy my life. Things go well. I connect to my daughter in ways that feel right and good. I am able to create what I want most in my life.

Sometimes, people don’t approve of choices I make. Some of the experts would gasp in sheer horror. (I ate BREAD. And SUGAR.) I feel connected and approved of by the only person I really need approval from: me. My soul and I are aligned. And when we’re not, I know it’s because I’ve forgotten to listen to my inner wisdom instead of some outside source.

Listening to and trusting your inner wisdom creates an inner confidence that radiates into every part of your life. It’s the most powerful thing you can do for yourself, your body, your well-being, and your happiness.

By Anamsong Endorsed Mind-Body Coach, Jessica Steward

As a solopreneur, it can feel very strange and lonely working for oneself day-in and day-out. We no longer have a source of endless annoyance or inspiration in the form of other people. No one with whom we can brainstorm our brainiest thoughts or off of whom we can bounce our bounciest ideas. No one to wish away so we could just get some friggin’ work done already. Sometimes we lose perspective. Things can start to feel crappy. We realize we have been wearing the same sweatshirt for a month and a glob of yellow mustard from earlier in the week. Stuff like that.

One of my favorite tools to combat this state of extreme loneliness is to ask myself,  “What would feel better/great right now?” 

Borrowed from genius Law of Attraction (LOA) expert Jeannette Maw and brilliant Master Mind-Body Coach and Mentor Abigail Steidley’s premise that “Everything that I do with mind-body healing is in perfect alignment with LOA concepts,” this simple phrase is a great way of staying in the flow of positive and productive energy even when you would rather assume a fetal position with your childhood blankie somewhere underneath the dining room table. I may or may not be speaking from experience right now.

So ask yourself: What would feel better right now?

When I ask myself this, my response is usually “A shower”, which, unfortunately, speaks volumes as to the overall state of my personal hygiene. Your answer could also be “to shower”, or it may be a variety of other activities – to cry, to go for a walk, to tidy up the kitchen because it vaguely resembles a crack den, to take a nap, to call a friend. The key is that you want it to propel yourself from the current state of “funk” to a more elevated state of – at the very least – “meh”. If it takes you all the way to “huh” or even “not too shabby”, then that is marvelous!

However, what if the answer to the question, “What would feel better right now?” is “A milkshake.”

This is where it gets tricky.

Let’s break it down into three possible scenarios:

Scenario 1:

• Your mental state right now: “Blah” to “Wah”.
• Your mental state immediately after drinking a milkshake: ”HOLY CRAP, THAT WAS DELICIOUS! I THINK I’LL ORDER ANOTHER ONE! THIS TIME WITH MALT!”
• Your mental state 5-20 minutes after drinking a milkshake: ”Oh my God! What have I done! I have no will power! I am weak! I am terrible! Please God, smite me for my frothy transgressions!”
• Verdict: Don’t drink the milkshake.

 Scenario 2: 

• Your mental state right now: “Blah” to “Wah”.
• Your mental state immediately after drinking a milkshake: ”Oh crap. I’m lactose intolerant!”
• Your mental state 5-20 minutes after drinking a milkshake: ”Oh. Crap.”
• Verdict: Don’t drink the milkshake.

Scenario 3:

• Your mental state right now: “Blah” to “Wah”.
• Your mental state immediately after drinking a milkshake: “My, my. What a delicious treat. It’s a shame I couldn’t finish it, but my tiny inverted belly was full. I dare say I feel a modicum of delight creeping back into my viscera once again.”
• Your mental state 15 minutes after drinking a milkshake: “Mmmm. I think I’ll have a quinoa salad with radicchio and soya beans for dinner tonight. But now, off to pilates.”
• Verdict: Drink the milkshake. And I hate you.

The truth is that sometimes when we are feeling crappy, we will revert to decoy behavior – the mental or physical activities we’ve used in the past to avoid feeling our feelings – in order to help us cope. So sometimes the milkshake is just us reverting to old habits or behaviors in order to avoid feeling crappy – scared, angry, afraid, frustrated, homicidal – and sometimes it is a joyful treat that helps catapult us into that better-feeling state. Remember, you do not need to feel amaaaaaazing after your better-feeling activity; the key is that it moves you in the direction of something that feels not-too-shabby versus something that helps to make you feel even worse. Usually feeling our feelings – rather than avoiding them – is exactly what the life coach ordered!

So when you find yourself sitting in your own filth or your eyelids drooping out of overwhelming boredom as you force yourself to answer one more email or write one more blog post, ask yourself this very simple phrase, “What would feel better right now?” And be sure to listen for the reply.

Now pardon me, I hear a cupcake calling. (Milkshakes aren’t really my thing.)

 
 
Master Mind-Body Coach Jessica Steward helps healing & creative entrepreneurs get their work out into the world. She lives outside of Boston with her husband, dog, two cats, and two ukuleles. The cats can’t play the ukuleles. Yet.

Read more about Mind-Body tools and LOA!’
“One of my favorite ways to attract what I want is to make an evidence list.” ~Abigail Steidley