Laura Tirello – My Blog https://abigailsteidley.com My WordPress Blog Thu, 30 Jan 2014 07:00:22 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 Releasing Resistance https://abigailsteidley.com/celebrating-resistance/ Thu, 30 Jan 2014 07:00:22 +0000 http://abigailsteidley.com/?p=4998 Continue reading Releasing Resistance]]> (Pic: Resistance)

by Endorsed Anamsong Coach, Laura Tirello

Resistance isn’t always bad, in fact it can teach us crucial things about what isn’t working for us. However, when it gets in the way of allowing us to accept and move forward, it needs to be released.

This came to me when I purposely avoided creating intentions and decided to let the to let January sink in and let the intentions form themselves. Then when the time was right I decided I was going to create my intention in the form of a word this year and that word is: release.

When it came to me it seemed perfect, because I realize in the last year there are a lot of things that I need to release both emotionally and physically.

Everything we hold emotionally affects us physically.

When I say that, people often get nervous and think that feeling of bad emotion is going to hurt them physically. We are inundated with information about how being positive and optimistic is the key to a healthy life. But it’s near impossible to feel positive and optimistic if you’re holding emotions down. I see it as similar to a chemical that’s in the wrong conditions and can’t be contained. It will eventually build pressure and release itself.

When we hold back too many emotions, they build up in our body the same way and look to release wherever they can. Since we’re not taught to show our emotions or to have any emotion that is deemed bad, there’s probably a huge amount of unfelt emotions that are building pressure within your body.

It’s not that you make yourself sick or create pain; it’s purely an unconscious process. Where things get stuck and confusing, is when you withhold an emotion and it takes another form. It’s the unconscious stress of holding on to something that creates added stress on your body and its functions.

If you have IBS or another kind of digestive disorder, your body is experiencing abdominal discomfort and perhaps digestive issues. In a sense that’s an area of weakness in your body. When you get stressed over family disagreements or uncertainty about your position at work, your body starts to tense up. And if you don’t address the source of the tension and release it, that pressure may add to what is already happening in your digestive track. So your stomach is a little upset, add some muscle tension to it, and then it really starts to hurt.

Before you know it, you are heading towards a flare up. Then it can turn into a cycle in which you feel you have no control over.

But you do have control over it.

That’s where people get a little stuck, and they feel like their life is being controlled by their symptoms. Though releasing your emotions won’t make the symptoms go away immediately, it will start a process of relaxation and help your body function better when things do get stressful.

The problem most people encounter is they are not sure of what they’re feeling. If you don’t know what you’re feeling, how do you release it?

This is where a little soul-searching comes to play.

Here are a few ways to feel and release:

1. Do a body scan: find places that seem tense and give them space to relax by stretching or breathing.

2. Notice what you’re feeling during the day and write it down. Instead of reacting to a coworker’s criticism or freezing up at a family event, recognize what you’re feeling. You don’t have to respond if you’re not ready (in fact it’s better not to say anything until you know why you feel certain way) just notice what emotion comes up. Is it anger? Fear? Take a moment and write it down. The more you recognize and acknowledge your emotions, the easier it will be to release them.

3. This is where the soul-searching really comes into play. Where are these emotions coming from? Do they remind you of something from the past? If you find that this is the case, then it’s time to release them. You can do that by doing something physical like kickboxing or running.

Remember we can’t control anything in life 100%, and that includes your symptoms. But we can take control of what we do with them and how we let them affect our lives.

Good luck on your journey, I know that releasing will help me as I embark on a new year.

Laura Tirello

Being both a Certified Martha Beck coach and an Endorsed Mind – Body coach, I have learned a lot about how we can stand in our own way when it comes to improving our lives and our health. As a recovering perfectionist who suffered from IBS and injury induced chronic pain, I now use the mind-body approach in my everyday life and am amazed at the change it has created for me. I also love seeing how it transforms the lives of my clients! A lover of new places, at the moment I live in southern Florida with my husband and super cute dog Aspen. When I’m not coaching you will find me walking on the beaches of southern Florida and doing whatever else feels good in the moment. if you’d like to learn more about coaching together, please send me an email or check out my website www.ibslifestyle.com

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Letting Go of Normal https://abigailsteidley.com/letting-go-of-normal/ https://abigailsteidley.com/letting-go-of-normal/#comments Thu, 19 Dec 2013 07:00:22 +0000 http://abigailsteidley.com/?p=4938 Continue reading Letting Go of Normal]]> by Endorsed Anamsong Coach, Laura Tirello

I spent a lot of time in the last few years wishing my life could go back to normal. Some days I longed for normal so badly that it made me cry. It wasn’t that I was just in pain from being injured in an accident; it was the frustration that I could no longer do some of the things that were normal to me.

In my career as a mind-body coach I watch people long for normal all the time. Many of my current clients suffer from IBS, digestive disorders, and chronic pain. They talk often about wanting a normal life. They want to enjoy themselves and go out socially and not worry about what could happen in an hour from now.

In my own journey with pain I saw the same thing. You feel that some external thing has taken away your freedom. You want to do all the things you used to do; you want to function in the world like a normal person. For me it got to a point that watching other people do common everyday tasks such as working on an iPad or riding a bike made me jealous and even angry. I wanted to do things the way a normal person would.

I’ve made great progress since a year and half ago when I was at that rock-bottom point in which normal seemed so far away.

What I learned in the process is living life with those thoughts is complete torture because you’re spending all of your time resisting your reality. All of this resisting leads to pent-up tension in your body, which does nothing good to help you heal.

If you are a person with IBS or in chronic pain, then you know that there are days when you feel that you are back to normal, and you start trying to do things you enjoy again and sometimes wake up the next day and find the pain is back. Then the cycle of fear, panic and self blame starts. Then you have to do the hardest thing: just sit with it and allow it to be there. If you’re someone who’s used to being active, the most difficult thing to do is surrender to the present moment when you hate everything about it.

But when you do learn to surrender to it and just be where you are, your body begins to react in a similar way. It calms back down and gets back to the process of healing. Calm is the normal function of your body, your nervous system, and everything about you. You just don’t know that because that’s where our mind gets confused and maybe a little bit lost.

So you need to take your scared, panicked self by the hand and bring her back to calm.

While being coached on this very subject many months ago, I could feel my body going back to calm. Then suddenly my mind immediately went back to my story “I want to be normal, I don’t even want to spend this time being here, or having to do this”. Then my coaching buddy said in the most loving voice, your normal wasn’t working for you because if it was you wouldn’t be where you’re at right now. Though my pain came from an injury, my “normal way” of handling it, wasn’t working.

Then I realized I had convinced myself that I had to get back to being busy, productive, and doing all my tasks exactly the same way in order to be normal. But when I did this I wound up feeling like absolute crap. So I’ve gotten used to the “new normal”, which is slower, measured, and full of modifications that I wish I didn’t need. What I have learned is that the new normal actually feels really good. I can see my progress day by day. I can take breaks whenever necessary, and I’ve slowed down enough to really appreciate what I do have going for me in my life.

I also stopped giving a crap about every little thing. And that felt really good!

There is always a lesson in pain and it can profoundly change your perspective, but you have to be willing to not be normal anymore. That shift comes with a great release and you become more powerful than you ever imagined. Letting go of “normal” allows you to be brave and create new directions in your life.

 

 

Being both a Certified Martha Beck coach and an Endorsed Mind – Body coach,  I have learned a lot about how we can stand in our own way when it comes to improving our lives and our health. As a recovering perfectionist who suffered from IBS and injury induced chronic pain, I now use the mind-body approach in my everyday life and am amazed at the change it has created for me. I also love seeing how it transforms the lives of my clients! A lover of new places, at the moment I live in southern Florida with my husband and super cute dog Aspen. When I’m not coaching you will find me walking on the beaches of southern Florida and doing whatever else feels good in the moment.  if you’d like to learn more about coaching together, please send me an email or check out my website www.ibslifestyle.com

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