I felt the cold blade slicing through my abdomen and fear welled up inside my chest.  “I can feel it!  I can feel it!”, I yelled in panic before I went to a padded pink fluffy world.  I was safe here.

Ten years ago my oldest daughter was born under bright blinding lights.  Weighing less than 2 pounds, she fought for survival.  She was born to save my life, in more ways than I could imagine at the time.  I haven’t told much of this story publicly before.  After all, few people, especially moms to be, want to hear a horror story.  The thing is– it now feels like I’m telling a love story.

It is a story about love in a family, unconditional love for another human and love for ourselves.  As I write this, tears of gratitude fall on my worn yellow legal pad.  How lucky we are both to be alive and doing so well.

I attached the plastic cup to my breast as the large blue machine started to hum rhythmically.  I saw the white liquid working its way through plastic tubing to a small bottle.  Still unable to nourish my daughter directly, I thought about how things had changed.  I thought about giving up my science career to care for myself and my new child and how this meant I was a failure.  I thought about my frustrating, freaky body which wasn’t working the way it was supposed to.   As I looked over to my tiny daughter lying on the bed, tears of grief started to fall.

After feeding her from a bottle, I unwrapped her from her tight swaddling which helped her feel safe and contained.  I lay her small, warm, naked body on my bare chest.  I felt the rapid heartbeat from her warm wrinkled body.  This was the beginning of our bond, our healing, our connection and love as mother and daughter.  We needed each other.  As her heart rate slowed and breathing relaxed, I felt the sweet dreamlike state of being connected to myself and to her.  In this moment everything was love.

Little by little she taught me how to love and forgive myself and my body.  I learned how to listen to my body and to hers.  I needed this catalyst to reconnect to my deep self, my soul.  I learned to love this body of mine that has always done exactly what it is supposed to do.  When did I go from feeling sorry for myself to being the luckiest person on the planet?

I sit by the fire, snuggled between my two daughters.  They read voraciously, as I write.  I feel our heartbeats and breathing slow as we become connected by the field.  In tune with each other, all is love in this moment.

Anu Gupta is an endorsed mind-body coach, former academic scientist and parent, who loves to help people access the power and information within their bodies, emotion, soul, and mind.  Check out her blog at www.triplepointcoaching.com

I know I’ve talked about love before, but it’s time to bring it up yet again!  As we are smack in the middle of the holiday season, it’s the perfect moment to remember that love is everything.   No, I’m not kidding!  Want to feel completely healthy?  Love is the answer.  Want to lose weight?  Love is the answer.  Want to succeed in your career?  Love is the answer.

I know it sounds simple, but most of my clients struggle with it for that very reason.  Our minds want to plan, think, analyze, do, judge, criticize, worry, and much more.  It’s easy to forget that re-entering the feeling state of love will flood your body with relaxation and ease, bring healing energy into your entire being, and pull you out of stressful thinking, allowing you to feel centered and peaceful.  You’ll always discover your own wisdom when you bring loving energy into your self.

Loving energy also helps transmute stressful emotional states like fear, anxiety, and panic.  Focusing on love is not something that occurs to us, usually, while feeling fear.  Yet, it’s an amazing way to be with the emotion, not suppress it, and yet allow it to be released from our body and mind.  Since emotional suppression is the number one reason that our bodies have pain, this approach can really help.  You just need to employ the power of love repeatedly, throughout the day, every day.

I used to think that feeling love meant feeling a huge wave of emotion.  As a result, it sounded really hard to feel love throughout the day.  Now I understand that love has many different volumes – it can be quiet and calm, loud and vibrant, or somewhere in the middle.  All I have to do is intend to feel love, and a quiet love quickly enters my heart.  I find it immensely helpful to imagine it in my heart as a physical energy, which might feel like warmth, light, or expansion.

What does love feel like in your heart? Play with it today – intend to feel it, and see if you can feel that quiet love.  The more you do it, the easier it will be.  Please don’t overlook the power of this process!  I can’t emphasize it enough.  Give it a try, keep practicing it, and experiment – there’s literally nothing to lose and much to gain.  During this holiday season, why not come back to the deeper meaning of the holidays and celebrate love?  What can you think today to feel loving toward yourself?  What can you do today to feel loved by yourself?