But first, let me invite you to play with me, in person!

That’s right – there’s something REALLY FUN coming up, and I’d like to extend an invitation to you.

Next month…

Oct. 9-11, in Loveland, Colorado

I’ll be assisting fellow Master Martha Beck Coach Koelle Simpson in her Primal Leadership: Taught through the eyes of a horse workshop.  This is play, fun, learning, personal growth, and emotional healing all in one weekend!

Koelle is an experienced, dynamic coach.  During this workshop, she’ll be using the incredible power of her unique brand of coaching (never been coached by a horse?  It’s amazing!) to teach leadership and strength.

What does this have to do with mind-body healing?

A LOT.  When you’re in the ring with a horse, you quickly discover how your thinking is affecting your body.  The horse is a highly effective bio-feedback tool that shows you just what you’re doing with your own powerful energy.  Are you harnessing it effectively? ?  Are you putting pressure on yourself to do things perfectly and therefore not accessing your true strength?  Are you trying to get approval from others and in the meantime, draining your own energy?  Are you leading your own life, from your inner guidance, or are you letting external issues and people direct you?

Not aligning with your own power, your inner guidance, and your truth creates a great deal of internal stress, both emotionally and physically.  Your body lets you know via physical pain, physical tension, and emotional tension that you’re off track.

So – come learn from the best teachers available: horses.  I can’t think of a faster way to unwind unhealthy mental and emotional patterns.  I’m so excited about this opportunity for you!  It’s so important that I can’t emphasize it enough – it will truly change your life and speed up your inner work process (which, as you know, is the key to your physical health).  You’ll get some seriously amazing coaching from Koelle and her horses, and I’ll be there, too, to answer any mind-body healing questions you might have and coach here and there.

Why am I assisting Koelle? Because, having experienced the magic of her work, I am planning to host one of her workshops here in Wyoming next year.  YAY!   (I’m there to learn, too!  I’ll be gathering info on all the setup details and processes to prepare for next year.)  I’d love to meet you in person, so I hope you check out the workshop.

I’m so excited about this that I’m offering a special coaching option for workshop participants!

SPECIAL OFFER:  The first 3 people to register for the workshop after reading this post will receive a FREE post-workshop coaching session with me!

This will help you digest and process the entire experience after you’ve had time to internalize what you learned and discovered during the workshop.  Simply forward me your proof of purchase email and we’ll set up your FREE session (a $95 value)!

To learn more about the workshop and register, click HERE.

P.S.  If you’re really excited about this, register ASAP.  The workshop fills at 12 and is already filling as we speak.  Also, you’ll want to take advantage of the Early Bird special and register today for great savings.

Two weeks ago, I had a little pelvic pain and some mild bladder symptoms.  They’d probably measure practically nothing on the good old “pain scale,” and in the past would have probably gone unnoticed.  However, this time, something interesting happened.  Instead of simply noticing the message from my body and turning inward to feel emotions and clean up my thinking, I completely avoided the issue.  I suppressed emotions like mad.  I avoided coaching myself.  I resisted my own coaching processes and tried to just ignore everything.

Then, today, I realized I’d been avoiding the emotional/mental work.  I noticed that my bladder was still slightly funky – still patiently sending me a message.  I got curious.  Why, I asked myself, am I avoiding this message?  If I’d woken up with a headache, a stomachache, or knee pain two weeks ago, I’d have been coaching myself up one side and down the other, investigating, curious, learning, and growing.  Why, in this instance, was I not doing this?

And then the aha moment occurred.  Thoughts came pouring out of my pen onto the notebook in front of me.  Quite soon, a theme appeared.  Apparently, in my mind, having a headache or stomachache is perfectly acceptable.  Having pelvic pain is not.  Why is this an issue to my mind?  Because I coach people around pelvic pain.  Interesting, no?

As I sat and free-wrote, I began to see my past in a different light.  When I first found mind-body work, I was so happy.  It worked like a charm, and I went from constant pain to mild bumps in the road here and there.  Then, I pretty much felt fine for years.  I probably had a mild symptom or two but just didn’t give them any thought at all.  I considered myself healthy, I had the mind-body work down, and I was just living my life.

The funny thing is, the first time I noticed a pelvic symptom was AFTER I became a coach.  Even then, it was not a major symptom.  It was so slight that I had to sort of focus on it to see if it was there.  Not surprisingly, the more I focused on it, the more I noticed it.  I worked myself up into quite a freak-out.  “Why,” I railed at the heavens, “am I completely fine for years and then start having symptoms when I become a coach?”

As it turns out, it wasn’t some punishment from the Gods.  It was quite simple.  As soon as I became a coach, I put about four tons of pressure on myself in the form of perfectionism.  I thought I had to be this perfectly healthy specimen to prove the effectiveness of mind-body work.  I felt so passionately about mind-body work and wanted people to have the experience of joy and health that comes from it that I promptly stressed myself into pain.  Hmmmm.  Isn’t the mind amazing?

At that point and time, I coached myself, figured out what was going on, and then started telling my clients about it.  It was a perfect example of perfectionism and how quickly it creates enough stress in the body to result in physical pain.  As a result, several clients had breakthroughs, one client said nothing I’d done before could ever match the effectiveness of that bit of coaching, and I felt a whole lot better.  No more stress, no more freaking out, no more pain.

Yet, even with that experience under my belt, I still avoided facing the recent mild bladder symptoms for TWO WHOLE WEEKS.  Clearly, I hadn’t quite routed the belief system that was creating stress and fear in my body.   Prior to becoming a coach, having a mild symptom didn’t mean a thing to me at all.  It was so meaningless that I can’t even remember if I had any mild symptoms, though I’m sure I probably did.  Now, though, I have assigned meaning to having a symptom.  For example, here’s what came out in my free-write:

To show everyone that mind-body work is effective, I have to be perfectly healthy.

To be a good mind-body coach for people, I have to be perfect at it myself.

So, I took these thoughts through one of the major coaching tools.  It’s called The Work, and was created by a woman named Byron Katie. Here’s what it looks like.

To show everyone that mind-body work is effective, I have to be perfectly healthy.
Is that true?
Hmmm.  Seems true.
Can you be absolutely sure that is 100% true?
No.
How do you react when you think that thought?
I feel panic.  I stress out.  I get upset and angry with myself.  I suppress the emotion created by this thought and avoid the whole issue.  I forget to be a coach for myself.
Who would you be without this thought?
I’d be the effective mind-body coach, coaching herself!  I’d be relaxed and open.  I’d tell everyone about this so they could learn from it in case they ever had a similar, stressful thought.
Turnaround (new, stress-relieving, truthful thought):  There are lots of turnarounds for this thought, but here’s one that really resonated with me.  To show everyone that mind-body work is effective, I have to be perfectly open.

Here’s the turnaround I like best for the other stressful thought:

To be a good mind-body coach for people, I have to NOT be perfect at it myself.

I LOVE those thoughts. They ring true in so many ways.  To understand the mind-body work, you all need to see it in action.  What better way than to show it to you as I use it myself?  What else would help you see so clearly that in doing this work, you NEVER have to fear symptoms again.  When they come up (and they will, because none of us are perfect – we will always suppress emotions now and again), you’ll know exactly what to do.  You won’t get caught in the fear and panic, creating more symptoms without realizing you’re doing so.  Instead, you’ll say – hey, I know about this.  It just means I need to look inward a bit and see where I’ve been in a pattern of dealing with stress that isn’t working for me.  (You’ll also see that I’m dead serious about allowing yourself to NOT be perfect – since I’m willing to share my imperfection right here in the written word!)

When you have little bouts of pain after years of feeling great, you’ll know that you just have a thought somewhere creating something that doesn’t serve you.  You’ll feel your emotions, you’ll find your thoughts, you’ll do the processes you learned, and you’ll be just fine.  A symptom doesn’t have to mean anything scary at all – it’s only our minds that assign meaning and create a mountain out of a molehill.  This is the beauty of the mind-body work.  It gives you such solid ground upon which to work that you have confidence in your own health.  You’re not worried that if you eat the wrong thing or do the wrong thing your health will fall off its precarious balance and come crashing to the ground.  Instead, you’ll feel the solid structure of your health supporting you, and you’ll know that if your body pops out a symptom, it’s simply a message.  You’ll know that the definition of healthy is not feeling perfect all the time – it’s being willing to listen when the messages arise so they don’t become larger health problems.

I sit here, in my living room, bringing you into the intimate world of coaching myself, full of appreciation for this process.  I went from feeling panicky and stressed to absolutely blissed out with gratitude.  Thank you, body, for sending me this very important message.  I hear you loud and clear – I still had some very painful story around this issue that was blocking my effectiveness as a coach.  Without you, I would have kept coaching, unaware, and missed opportunities to truly transform someone’s experience.  Without you, someone might have felt the exact way I feel now and thought – well, I must be doing this wrong, because Abigail never has any pain.  What a tragedy that would be, because it would hamper their mind-body experience and they might not trust their own process as a result.

I see so clearly that the very best thing I can do is be open, honest, and authentic about my own experience.  It’s perhaps the most reassuring thing I can do as a coach.  I remember once talking to a weight loss coach who said, “Sure, sometimes I gain a few pounds.  But it’s not a problem – it just means I need to do what I know.”

We all forget sometimes.  We all don’t do what we know sometimes.  But thank goodness we have these bodies to let us know, to keep us moving forward, learning, and growing.  I just released some serious mental baggage today that I would not have been aware of without my body and its magical message system.

The amazing this is that when we listen to our bodies, the small little pain reminders never become big, unwieldy pain reminders.  The body gives us exaclty what we need to learn the lesson of the day.  It never throws a flame torch your way when a match will serve the purpose.  You don’t have to be afraid that you’ll be laid flat with the kind of pain that started you on this journey.  That pain was what it took to get you started – to wake you up to the stresses and pressures you were unknowingly putting on your self and body.  Now that you’re aware, it will only take a small poke here and there to keep you on track.

I know that I feel best when I am absolutely an open book.  Whenever I go against myself, it feels terrible and stressful.  Whenever I put perfection pressure on myself, it leads to emotional stress.  Most of the time, I can feel the emotions and do the work on my thoughts.  But, I’m not perfect.  Sometimes I suppress the emotions and avoid myself.  Thank you, body, for waking me up to that fact.  You are a gentle but unyielding teacher, leading me always to my best life.

Have a great two weeks everyone!  I’m off to the final week of Martha Beck Master Coach Training, where I plan to be open, honest, and myself.  I’ll thank my body for the incredible payoff in learning, knowledge, and joy that authenticity will bring me.  More in the Emotions Series when I get back!

• Breathwork 1 – Basic diaphragmatic breathing taught by a yoga instructor or voice instructor.  (One-on-one instruction is best.)  I would recommend this to every single person.  I think it is the most important thing you can learn – and this is saying a lot, because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE coaching.

• Breathwork  2 – Someone who works with breath to facilitate emotional release.  You might need this if, for example, you worked with a therapist or coach and did basic breath-work, read about mind-body approaches such as Sarno’s, even took a program like Dr. Schubiner’s, and still have persistent pain.  In other words, don’t blame yourself, don’t blame the programs, information, or humans.  You just might need to release some serious suppressed emotion that can be regarded as basically stuck energy in your body.  (Remember, more coming in future posts.) (My favorite breathwork resource is www.barrattbreathworks.com.)

• Other body-based emotional release techniques, such as EMDR, EFT, or bioenergetic psychotherapy if you don’t have a breath-work specialist in your area.

• Traditional Western psychotherapy – If you have past traumas that you have yet to share with anyone, and if you hate talking about feelings or your personal inner life, you may need to start here.

• Energy healing – such as acupuncture, Healing Touch, or bioenergetic healing.  This comes in as a close second behind coaching and breath-work in my book.  It rocks.  No other way to say it.  It will speed up everything else you’re doing.

• Nutritional guidance of the non-scary kind (someone who can teach you balanced nutrition rather than an overly limited/restrictive diet).  It’s always helpful to support your body in its healing process.  This also means knowing that food alone may not be enough to cure you, and may not be the root cause of your issue.  You can just aid yourself and speed things up by giving your body what it needs.  If you’re prone to thinking your diet causes your pain, you might want to hold off on this one.

• A spiritual guide/teacher – Nothing is more reassuring than a spiritual connection.  My own personal journey to health was a spiritual unfolding within myself.  It may not be the norm to talk about this, or to even talk about its importance in a healing process, but I am not going to hold back anything from you.  I think it’s hugely important.  I will be sharing more about this in the future.  If you don’t work with someone in person, reading spiritual resources that feel right to you can be immensely comforting.  Follow your inner guidance.

• Yoga, t’ai chi, qigong, stretching, massage, and physical therapy – These can all have their place in your healing process – if you find instructors who know what they’re doing and therapists who are supportive.  While these may not heal you alone, they can be immensely effective in moving and releasing emotion and energy.  It can be easy to focus too much on the physical aspect of this kind of work and not enough on the emotional/mental release it stimulates, so be careful.  Make this a compliment, not the main focus.  As long as you’re not hanging all your hope on these things, you’ll find them fantastic supportive pieces of the puzzle – IF YOU ENJOY THEM.  Doing something you don’t like or that doesn’t feel right to you is never helpful.

• A physician you trust – I am a little bossy when it comes to my health, so I like a physician who will listen to me, take me seriously, and be willing to look beyond Western medicine and to the outer reaches of Western medicine.  Yes, I did find one!  I see him about once a year for a pap smear, but I like knowing I can trust him.  Mind-body healing does not mean throwing out Western medicine.  It’s about integration.

• Last but not least: COACHING! Yes, yes, I know I’m biased.  Seriously, though, NOTHING has helped me more than coaching.  It is the fastest way to relax your body, surprisingly enough, because it helps release thoughts and emotions that are causing the fight or flight response within your body.  And I didn’t even know about it when I was struggling through my initial healing process!  So you get to benefit from my experience, here!  Mind body (especially Martha Beck style) coaching is unique, straightforward, and immensely freeing.   As a spoke in the wheel for my clients, I also serve, due to my personal experience, as a sort of Mind-Body CEO, helping them see what works for them, what they can do for themselves, and how they can listen to their own inner guidance both to build their Healing Team and to learn to coach themselves.  I offer my own experience and knowledge as a guide and jumping-off point.  (In upcoming posts – much more about my personal application of coaching in my current life, so that you can see it in action and understand how it helps.)  If you integrate coaching with some of the traditional Sarno work, you get a hugely powerful mix.  If you put it together with body-based activities like yoga, breathing, and energy work, you’d have to work hard to stay in pain or ill!

If you’re struggling with mind-body healing and improvement is not happening for you, there’s no reason to give up, throw in the towel, or decide it’s a hoax.  I want you to know that nothing is wrong with you, you’re not doing anything wrong, and whatever you’ve tried probably isn’t wrong either.  It’s just a personalized, sometimes complicated process.  Breathe deeply, allow yourself some compassion, don’t be in a big rush, and explore.  Put together a Healing Team that works for you.  If you need only one person, great.  If you need ten people, great.  (If you read my blog regularly, I consider myself to be an honorary member of your Team, because it’s fun to think of you and your healing process (even if I don’t know you personally)!  Don’t forget to join my email list because there’s SO MUCH COMING (really soon!) that you might find helpful, and I always tell my email list first about exciting stuff.)

So what do I do now, in my life?  Who’s on my current Health Team?  Here’s my weekly practice: meditation, breath-work, mindfulness, journaling, self-coaching, yoga, visualization, reading, enough sleep, and PLAY.  I don’t do hours of everything – sometimes it’s just minutes here and there, depending on the day.  But I do these things because I love them and because they bring me peace, happiness, and health.  There is no sense of “should.”  I will be writing more about the lifestyle of mind-body health, so that you can learn from my “mistakes” and personal life lessons.

My Health Team consists of: my physician, my coach buddies, my energy healer (a nurse who uses Healing Touch), my yoga instructor (not for “fixing” my body, but because yoga enhances my mind-body-spirit connection and brings up emotions to be processed), my nutritionist (don’t use her as much anymore, but pop in and out here and there), and a great massage therapist (but that is not directed toward pain, it’s because I love getting massaged more than anything – I am a massage addict), and, last but not least – ME.

So anytime something is amiss within my mental/emotional world, I coach myself first.  Then I reach out to my support system and work with whomever is appropriate.  I get coached and take yoga classes weekly, and I consistently book energy healing appointments.  These three things, for me, are preventative, joyful medicine.  They are joy-enhancers.  When I want to treat myself, I get a massage.  The main point is, though, that when I think of my Health Team, I smile.  They all have great compassionate, kind personalities and positive energy.  So yes, sometimes it takes a village, but the village is there for you, waiting to help you return to health.