By Endorsed Mind-Body Coach Elaine Jeffy

In late 2011 I felt totally lost and discouraged.  It was one year after back surgery, and my agonizing pain and sciatica were raging out of control.

My neurosurgeon prescribed physical therapy for pain of “unknown origin.” After all, the surgery had corrected the structural issues that had “caused” my symptoms.

The physical therapy helped me build strength, but did not help relieve my symptoms. So WHY was I STILL in pain?

I spent a lot of time googling for an answer to my dilemma.  Most of what I discovered online only led to more confusion and right into victimhood – the plague of post laminectomy syndrome – or failed back syndrome.  I would NOT accept that this was my fate and finally found the work of John Sarno, M.D.

Dr. Sarno was Professor of Clinical Rehabilitation Medicine at New York University School of Medicine, and attending physician at the Howard A. Rusk Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine, New York University Medical Center.

He authored four books: Mind Over Back Pain, Healing Back Pain, The Mindbody Prescription and The Divided Mind. Hundreds of thousands of individuals claimed that his books were responsible for eliminating or greatly reducing pain that had not responded to medical treatment.

Dr. Sarno’s words filled me with hope and liberated me from the unrelenting fear that had consumed my life. My fear subsided while reading about his theory that these physical symptoms are initiated by emotional factors that are almost universal in Western society.

I WAS NOT BROKEN.

Dr. Sarno’s career spanned over 50 years.  He found that many patients had severe back pain with mild or no abnormalities on X-rays or MRIs. And he noted that many people with significant or severe imaging abnormalities had little or no pain.

He also observed connections between emotional distress, adverse childhood experiences, and his patient’s personality traits (such as people pleasing and perfectionism) and the presence of back pain and other syndromes (IBS, tension headaches, etc.)

Through his clinical practice, Dr. Sarno came to the conclusion that tension induced reactions in the body create oxygen deprivation to areas of the body causing intense pain.  He believed that the syndrome originates in the brain rather than in a structural abnormality.

This pain is perpetuated and amplified by overly sensitized nerve connections between the brain and the body creating a vicious cycle of pain that can last for months, years, or decades.   Brain imaging studies show that physical and emotional pain both impact the same areas of the brain.

From Dr. Sarno in The Mindbody Prescription: “I told my patients there was really nothing wrong with their backs.  I explained that they had a harmless condition that must be treated through the mind, not the body.  Awareness, insight, knowledge and information were the magic medicine that would cure this disorder – and nothing else could do it.

…mindbody physical symptoms…do not imply mental or emotional illness or abnormaility… We are much stronger than we know, and have the capacity to influence what is going on in our bodies.”

Dr. John Sarno’s legacy is a powerful testimonial and inspiration. The day after his death a new documentary opened in New York City:  All the Rage – Saved by Sarno.  I hope you will have the opportunity to see this profound and potentially life changing film.

“The awareness of the power of the mind body connection- AND our innate ability to activate that power- is rising at an exponential rate in science and medicine.  It is no longer a fringe idea. The system is flipping. It is an exciting time.” Michael Galinsky, Director & Filmmaker, All the Rage.

Elaine Jeffy

I was trapped in a life of chronic pain and anxiety until I learned that I was not a victim – I was just disconnected from myself and my innate power to heal.

After decades of failed treatments and finally surgery, I discovered the mind-body approach to healing, and it transformed every area of my life!   I was led to become a coach as I yearned to help others unlock their truth and claim their own healing power.  I am a certified Martha Beck Life Coach, Anamsong Endorsed Mind-Body Coach and certified by the Whole Health Medicine Institute in California.

Now I am privileged to help others harness their body’s natural ability to renew, restore and repair itself as they find relief from chronic pain, gain more satisfaction in personal/work/family relationships, and make meaningful changes in their lives!

Website:  www.yourkeytohealing.com

Email:  Elaine@yourkeytohealing.com

The idea that this was causing my body to react with tension and pain really blew my mind. And, it made so much sense. It was, truly, the only logical explanation for the sudden, out-of-nowhere chronic pelvic pain syndromes I’d developed; vulvodynia and interstitial cystitis. Every other explanation lacked the simplicity and clarity of that one, and so I decided to use a mind-body healing approach to my syndromes.

In doing so, not only did I eliminate the pain syndromes, but I changed every single aspect of my life for the better. Why? Because I changed the driving force behind all of my actions and decisions.

I used to act from fear. Fear of not being perfect or good enough. Fear of not succeeding. Fear of people not liking me. Fear of something failing or falling apart. Fear of messing up. Fear of losing something or someone.

When you look at it like that, it’s quite a lot of fear. Fear, unfelt and un-faced, remains within the body. This causes tension and stress…and pain.

To heal my body and mind, I had to find the antidote to a fear-based life.

What’s the antidote?

A love-based life.

I had to learn how to make all choices, actions, and decisions based on love.

In every moment, there’s a fear-based focus and a love-based focus. The fear-based focus says, “I have to do/should do x,y, or z because something bad might happen.” The love-based focus says, “I am choosing this because it feels right, and it feels like love.”

A love-based life means asking myself if what I’m thinking or doing is because I love me and want to care for me, or because I’m afraid of something.

I have to stop and pay attention. Am I tense? Holding my breath? If so, I’m trying not to feel fear. It’s time to connect to myself, be aware of the fear, and find my way back to love.

If I love me, I don’t have to be perfect, good-enough, or responsible for the whole world. I can just be.

If I love me, I can treat myself with kindness instead of criticism.

If I love me, I can choose actions because they feel joyful, loving, and fun.

Now, I listen deeply to the truth in my heart. From there, I choose to eat foods I love. I choose to enjoy activities I love. I choose to work in a career I love, in ways that I love.

Before anything can become a part of my life, it has to pass the love test. If it doesn’t feel absolutely right and loving for myself, then it doesn’t pass.

This love-based life has given me my health back. It’s given me my life back – only it’s a much better life! It’s given me the work I love, the child I love, and so much more.

Choosing to love me and to live a love-based life healed my body and united me with my spirit.

Exhausted.

Like part of your body is permanently molded into the bed.

When you start paying attention to your body and actually listening to its needs, one of the first things that happens is usually exhaustion. It’s like you pick up the rug and realize you’ve been sweeping stuff under it for years. Now, here you are, faced with reality: You. Are. Tired.

So very tired.

This is normal! In our culture, we often push ourselves crazy-hard. We ignore our bodies and blow past signals for rest and recuperation. We focus on doing, doing, doing. Our to-do lists become more important than our physical bodies.

I frequently fall into this habit, even after years of deep practice around listening to my body and respecting its messages.

Self-kindness is called for when you confront your tendencies to shove aside your body’s guidance and end up sick or in pain.

You didn’t do this on purpose.

You’re not bad or wrong for ignoring your body, or for being tired.

This is all just information, and you can simply be curious. Why did I think it was more important to clean my house, work late, and then paint the ceiling than to take a few moments to settle in for a little rest?

You’ll probably find that your mind thinks you should work 24/7 to be a worthwhile person, you’re a little afraid of the emotions or insights that might pop up if you stop, and nobody ever says, “Wow! Amazing job resting today!”

All of these reasons make it more challenging to get off the treadmill and stop moving.

When you finally do, you’ll probably have some accumulated exhaustion in your body. That’s ok. No judgment necessary. Right now, just rest.

Then rest some more.

Then rest some more.

It’s your path to health. And joy. And creativity.

You are doing SUCH A GREAT JOB RESTING! You are AMAZING when you rest so much!

(Print those last two sentences out and post them somewhere handy.)

Keep up the good resting.

Whether you’re new to mind-body healing or a veteran of many years, there’s only way to stay sane: DON’T GOOGLE IT.

If you’re using a mind-body healing approach and you’ve realized you have TMS (also called Mind Body Syndrome), then Googling your symptoms is probably the worst thing you can do.  I can’t think of a faster way to create doubt and fear in your mind that what you’re dealing with isn’t just TMS, but something deadly and permanent.

If you want mind-body healing to work, you have to decide to go all in and let go of the conventional thoughts and ideas around your symptoms. You have to drop the medical lingo for your syndrome (I remember feeling so free when I stopped saying I had vulvodynia and switched to calling it TMS. It was pivotal in my healing process!). You have to leave the conditioned way of viewing the mind and body and open yourself to something much more powerful – seeing the mind and body as a team.

Stop researching your symptoms and start spending the time on yourself, instead. Use that time to feel emotions, journal about stresses in your life, and relax the body. You’ll find yourself improving much more quickly without research blocking your progress.

If you’re like most people I work with, you’ve already seen a plethora of doctors, researched deep into the night many times, and right now you’re just facing a momentary fear that’s driving you to Google. Recognize the fear for what it is; the siren song of TMS. It’s the way the syndrome works. Your own mind keeps you distracted with fear around symptoms when the real work (feeling emotions, seeing truths with yourself) awaits.

There’s nothing new for you to learn on Google about your symptoms.

There is, however, much more for you to learn about yourself, within you.

It’s time to research your innermost emotions, how you’re treating yourself, and where you might need to make changes in your external life. That is what will heal TMS and create the well-being you want.

Maybe you’ve read Dr. John Sarno’s theories about TMS, or Tension Myositis Syndrome (also called Mind Body Syndrome by some people), and you really want to implement them into your healing process. This is a great idea, because many mindfulness and meditation-based mind-body healing methods, while extremely helpful, can’t quite take you to the finish line. I’ve found, for myself and for my clients, that Dr. Sarno’s work bridges an important gap between spiritual/holistic healing and Western medicine. It helps the mind understand how the mind itself can create and perpetuate physical pain (not consciously, of course!) and gives logical reasons and practical steps for people who are trying to embrace mind-body/spiritual healing but feel a little stuck.

The great news is, to implement the core and essential methods in Dr. Sarno’s approach, you only really need two things.

Your Mind-Body Shopping List

1. A pen
2. A notebook

That’s right – one trip to the dollar store and you are all set! Everything you really need is already inside of you, and mind-body healing is actually very simple. It can feel challenging, just because you are learning something new. And, you’re learning something that goes against much of what you’ve learned throughout your life about how the mind and body work together. (This was actually my favorite thing about Dr. Sarno’s work – it was so different and so striking that it felt freeing, and it gave me hope that I could truly heal.)

Once you’ve completed your shopping trip, here’s what you’ll want to do with your supplies.

Two to three times a day, stop what you are doing and ask yourself this question: What am I feeling emotionally right now?

Take a moment to check in with yourself, and be curious about what is going on in your emotional world. If you don’t feel anything right now, think back to the last hour or so, or last few hours. See what you may have been feeling recently, but weren’t aware of while you were busy with daily life.

Let yourself feel the emotion for a few minutes, without doing anything other than just noticing what it feels like to have that emotion right now.

At the end of the day, take ten minutes to write anything you noticed as a result of doing this exercise, as well as anything you feel you need to express.

This simple exercise is the root of all the mind-body tools, and is powerful enough to create pain relief all on its own. Really!

The mind often wants to complicate mind-body healing, but it always comes back to one thing: feeling emotions.

Dr. Sarno’s work is so groundbreaking because it describes the connection between pain in the body and suppressed emotion. In short, he explains that the unconscious mind tries to protect us from strong emotions that are a result of life pressures. It protects us from being vulnerable by keeping us unaware of the inner workings of the unconscious mind and our deepest emotions, conscious or unconscious. The mind has the ability to create a pain syndrome that, in essence, both distracts us from our inner emotional world and alerts us to an imbalance within the psyche – a call to connect inward, in a sense.

This one concept is the most important key to remember as you embark on your mind-body healing journey. It’s easy to forget, so you’ll want to come back and review it over and over again, on a daily basis, to help you stay on track.

When I decided to coach and help others with the application of mind-body healing techniques, I wanted to create enough resources to support people in all different situations. If you don’t feel like you have extra money right now, I want you to know that you can read my blog, (there are tons of past posts that will help you out!), use this simple tool from today, and get well. I’ve heard from many people who have done just that, without ever even signing up for coaching or programs (which can certainly be helpful, but there’s no need to feel stress if that’s not a possibility for you right now).

Most of all, I want you to feel encouraged and supported, however we cross paths. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know the challenges you have and are facing, and I also know that you can absolutely get well.

Every year, the Mind-Body Coaches in my Mind-Body Coach Training offer free coaching in order to gain experience. This is a great opportunity for you to get coached around everything I’ve described above! See the details below if you’re interested.

Abigail

Would you like free mind-body coaching? If you’re struggling with a pain syndrome, health, stress, or you’d just like to apply the mind-body tools to your life, now is your chance! The 2015 Mind-Body Coaches -in-Training are practicing their coaching skills, and we are offering YOU free coaching! If you would like to be added to our list of available clients for the coaches-in-training please fill out this form. (Opportunity ends 9/5/15.)

One morning, I woke up, stepped out of bed, and keeled over from agonizing pain. I was no stranger to pain, as I’d had searing pelvic pain from Interstitial Cystitis for years. This, however, was a different searing pelvic pain. I picked up the phone and called 911.

Pain is a powerful messenger. How did I know to call 911 instead of just write it off as Interstitial Cystitis? I have no idea. It just told me what to do, and I acted on instinct.

I’ve come to see that avoiding pain causes immense suffering. During my long haul with chronic pelvic pain (interstitial cystitis, vulvodynia, and later coccydynia), I was forced to awaken to a new relationship with pain. I fought the pain for a long time before I found the work of Dr. John Sarno and read his groundbreaking book, The Mindbody Prescription. After reading that book, I started learning everything I could get my hands on about mind-body healing and the mind-body connection.

I discovered that my resistance to pain was making my experience with pain about a thousand times worse. I found that my mind was creating story after story about the pain:

I’m a worthless person because I can’t do anything with my life right now.

I’m useless.

This will last forever.

I can’t go on.

I can’t do this.

This is the worst pain.

The pain is getting worse, not better.

And so on.

I discovered that my mind was whirling in a tornado of thoughts because it was trying to avoid the Real Stuff – aka, emotions. I started applying Sarno’s technique of focusing on my emotions anytime the pain or pain obsession surfaced.

This brought about a new revelation: I was also resisting feeling emotional pain.

With that revelation, everything cracked open.

I saw that I was fighting myself, day in and day out, not allowing myself to feel whatever emotion was present.

I learned to let the emotions exist. I learned to approach discomfort within myself – emotional or physical – with a new perspective.

Discomfort is not a bad thing. Discomfort is easily one-half or more of our human experience. If I try to push it away, or if I am always running toward comfort, I am closing my mind to the human experience.

Discomfort is guidance.

If you put your hand on a hot stove, you feel extreme discomfort. Quickly, you take it off. That’s a pretty easy example to see. Other discomforts can be subtler and quieter, but they are still guiding you. They are guiding you to see what your mind is telling you. They are guiding you to follow what is right for you. They are guiding you to return to your inner world and take stock.

Now, I have a new approach. I listen to discomfort. I stay with it until it guides me, because I know it’s here to help me, even if it’s painful.

This may sound a little hard.

It is.

I like to call this mind-body healing path the Path of the Mind-Body Warrior. I mean, why not give ourselves a little credit, right? If you’ve decided to apply mind-body healing to your life, it means you are willing to open to discomfort. Every day, there will be discomfort, most likely. That’s how life works. Every day, we get to train as warriors.

For those of us who’ve suffered physical pain, the motivation is strong to stay on this warrior path and allow discomfort. We know that when we allow pain and discomfort of all kinds (physical, emotional, anxiety, stress, etc.), we stop resisting what is. When we stop resisting what is, a new energy moves into our lives.

I think of it as flow. The flow comes in and it starts to carry us, like we’re floating on a river, ensconced in a puffy raft. Life feels simpler. Less difficult.

It can even be a little fun to do this Mind-Body Warrior training. The reward is enormous, and much bigger than pain relief. The reward is awakening to ourselves, our lives, our spirits, and our broad, vast, ability to contain and love this human experience.

That morning, when I called 911, I was just learning to listen to pain instead of fight it. I was certainly resisting it, but I knew it was telling me to seek help. The doctors quickly booked me for an emergency kidney stone removal, and I was saved from a serious kidney infection and sepsis.

Pain wakes us up and asks us to listen. We can do it. We are warriors.

I get emails from clients like the sample below pretty much every week:

Agh! I think something is terribly wrong with me! Oh no! I am crying a lot! I feel terrible! What should I do? I can’t live like this! What if I’m never happy again!

To which I usually reply something like this:

Yay! Soooo glad you are crying and feeling your emotions! Don’t worry – this won’t last forever. It’s what we’ve been hoping to accomplish. Remember when you said you wanted to stop stuffing your emotions and actually feel them? Well, this is the beginning!

I have gained a reputation for being the coach who makes you cry. In a good way. In an “I can finally let down and let this emotion flow” kind of way. I joke about this crying coach thing with my clients, who thus far have not thrown tomatoes or eggs at me, or toilet papered my house. This may be because most of them live far, far away from Wyoming. Thankfully.

Once they get through the initial panic over actually feeling these darn emotions, however, they report feeling much, much better. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. Storing all that emotional stuff in one’s body really doesn’t feel great, takes a lot of energy, and leads to physical pain. You’ve gotta remember the reason you embarked on this mind-body healing journey, whether it was to relieve pain around issues like vulvodynia or interstitial cystitis or gain confidence and quiet the self-doubts and inner critic. You wanted to feel better. You wanted to actually let yourself have emotions. You wanted to connect to your soul wisdom, even if you didn’t know it in so many words.

Well, the first step is to actually feel those emotions you’ve unwittingly stored away. Conceptually, this sounds great. In reality, it’s very unnerving, at first. This is because you’ve spent years NOT feeling them. Trust me – as a champion emotion avoider, I have so been there. The reason we don’t want to feel these things is they are sooooooooo uncomfortable. (Along with other reasons, such as feeling vulnerable and “weak” if we let them flow.)

Like many, many things in life, when you start this process, you have to make it through the rough patch where things seem worse before they get better. In physical healing, this is often called the “healing crisis.” In the mind-body process, I just call it The Mess. It generally involves a lot of Kleenex tissue, reassuring one’s spouse that this is not an emergency, and a cave-like place to which you can retreat and blubber. A lot.  (My spouse has mentioned that spouses need a blog post on what to do with mates who are going through the mess. He too, speaks from personal experience. Possibly I’ll write that one next…)

The only reason this seems so awful, for most of us, is the panic and fear that arises from the inner part of us that thinks these emotions are not to be felt. They are to be avoided! Stuffed away! “Run now!” shouts this inner suppressor inside us. “The tears are coming! Noooooooo!”

This is what we call resistance. Resistance to feeling these emotions is normal. It’s just part of the process. You might feel it in spades or feel it just a little, but it is likely to show up nearly every time you start to really feel an emotion, especially at first. Just acknowledge this resistance, reassure it (you can talk to it like it’s your friend) that you are okay and that you will go gently into the emotion swamp.

If you can stay slightly in the role of observing yourself feel (this feels like you’re watching yourself in a movie), even as you are crying (or throwing things at your poor, unsuspecting spouse), you’ll find that the swamp is just that. It’s only knee-high. You won’t drown, you won’t feel overwhelmed, and you will make it to the other side.

Once you’ve started letting yourself feel emotions and have integrated that into your daily life, they’ll be like just a blip on the screen. Just a normal, simple, passing part of your daily existence. You’ll become a pro. You might still feel some resistance every now and then, and you won’t do everything perfectly, but you’ll feel much more at peace with emotions, and you’ll feel much more relaxed and energetic in your body. If you were in pain, it will fade away. You’ll start to feel like you know yourself. You’ll start to feel like you like yourself. And dare I say, even love yourself! You’ll find yourself having fewer bouts of self-doubt, and when those do arise, you’ll see them from a slightly detached place instead of getting totally knocked flat and immobilized.

I write all of this simply to say this: stick with it. You can do it. It doesn’t feel this hard forever. If you can get over the hump and through the muddiest part of the swamp, you’ll get back onto dry ground. It’s much easier to just keep going forward, through the discomfort, through the resistance (not forcefully – just with a steadfast willingness to go forward) than to start and then stop, over and over again. That tends to feel horrific, like you are never going to make it out of the swamp.  Martha Beck, my mentor and the original reason I became a coach, calls this process going through the ring of fire. This is an apt analogy, because it does burn hot. If you move forward, however, you don’t catch fire. You end up in what she calls the Core of Peace. Ahhhh. If you start and stop repeatedly, you end up just standing in the fire, burning. Gack. I’ve done it, and I don’t recommend it.

Keep feeling. Be willing to be a mess. Be willing to have a melt-down, even if it’s not in your schedule. (Because really, have you scheduled your melt-down time? Is it listed in your calendar between the haircut and picking the kids up from school? Didn’t think so!) Emotions are not logical, not linear, not organized. They affront our intellect with their very kindergarten-style way of doing things – so haphazard, so random, so…undisciplined. Yet, they return us to our own bodies, our own soul wisdom, and, ultimately, peace.

Embrace the mess. This too shall pass. You can do it. Stock up on Kleenex. Celebrate this sign that the mind-body process is working. Know that most people have no idea how to navigate emotions, so they may not understand what you’re doing. Reassure them that it’s okay, and don’t bother worrying about what they think. You are on the path to healing, and you will most definitely arrive. Just keep going forward, through the swamp, through the fire, and remember to breathe. You will not only survive – you will thrive.

This weekend, I was feeling a little disconnected, stressed, and tense. My shoulders were inching up around my ears and clearly holding some kind of emotion. I knew it was time to walk my talk, so I mind-body coached myself.

This experience reminded me that I haven’t written much about what I call mind-body maintenance. Once you’ve released your mind-body pain syndrome and have created health, you enter the mind-body maintenance phase. This phase is where you learn about forgetting and remembering.  I myself have forgotten the mind-body tools at least a million times in the ten years I’ve been using them. As soon as I realize I’ve forgotten, I remember them. There they are, like trusty old friends, waiting for me.

Many of my clients have had small panic attacks during the maintenance phase, because after months or years of pain-free living, a symptom pops up. It is usually quite mild, but most people immediately imagine they will be diving back into dealing with their pain syndrome daily.

Not so!

Here is where living the mind-body way becomes really worthwhile. Instead of fearing a symptom appearance, you get to experience a newfound confidence in your ability to create health. The truth is, you know what to do when a symptom shows up.

Here’s the deal: whatever your symptom may be – burning in the hoo-ha region, bladder irritability, a couple extra pounds, a bout of IBS gas that requires you to blame the dog – it is only here to remind you to remember what you’ve forgotten.

Should a symptom, new or familiar, appear, it’s time to take a close look at the last month and see where you have forgotten to connect to your body, feel your emotions, and use your mind-body basics.

Your mind might try to make this complicated. It might tell you a million different reasons why you’re experiencing this episode. Here are a few examples:

“Well, I probably need a major surgery or some other procedure.”

“This pain in my back just HAS to be from that time I stubbed my toe in 1983. Why else would it be here? There’s really no other explanation.”

“I am just doomed to gain weight – it must be genetics. Or maybe I was abducted by aliens and they injected me with a fat-causing serum. It can’t possibly be that I overate! I’m sure I ate just fine all month.”

“My bladder must be upset because I drank/ate [insert your choice of food or drink here]. Oh no! Oh no!”

“What is wrong with me! Why does this happen! What do I do! I have no idea what to do! Oh my God! AAAAAGGHHHHH!”

Your individual mind, of course, will tailor its freak-out to your personal situation. The trick here is to realize your mind is LOST. It doesn’t know what to do, and it is in search-for-the-reason mode BECAUSE you are disconnected from your body and emotions. It cannot help you in this moment unless you stop and remember your mind-body basics.

1)     Stop whatever you’re doing, breathe, and pay attention to your body. Scan your body from your feet to your head, and really check in. Where do you notice tension? Be IN your body, instead of thinking about your body/analyzing/looking for solutions.

2)     Breathe. Take five minutes to just breathe.

3)     Ask yourself the question, “What am I feeling now?” Then allow yourself to feel that emotion.

That is the simplest, most basic form of the mind-body tools. You can do this in a short ten minutes. Keep it up daily for a week and you’ll realize that your symptom is just here to remind you of what you forgot. Breathe. Feel. Breathe. Feel. Every day. Take time to notice your body. See what it really wants. Any time you have been ignoring it, you’ll likely discover some pent-up emotion, some requests for rest or a slower pace (or other change in your habits), and then a return to peace and health. The symptom will disappear quickly – within days, hours, and even minutes.

Eventually, as you learn how to manage yourself in the maintenance phase, you’ll find that your nemesis symptoms only arise when you’ve really gotten off track, and even then, they are quite mild. For the most part, you’ll spend your days pain-free, because you’ll be paying attention to your body and noticing any tension before it turns into actual pain, or any upsurge in food intake before it turns into ten pounds.

Wish you knew even more about how to manage yourself in the maintenance phase? Not to worry – a whole slew of material on this is in the works!

Everyone forgets. We all disconnect. The goal is not to do the mind-body process perfectly, day in and day out. It’s simply to notice when you’ve forgotten and then pick up the tools and use them. Not perfectly. Not for three hours. Ten little minutes. That’s all. Remember that you do know how to do this. Now it’s time to do it.

Breathe. (I’m not kidding about breathing. It’s incredibly powerful. Click here and scroll down for the Help! I Think I Need to Learn How to Breathe Audio/Video Course.

My Bladder Starts Talking

I experienced my first bladder infection in 1989 at the age of 24.  The pain ripped through my lower pelvis.  Panicked and doubled over I called the doctor.  Like a good patient I took the prescribed antibiotics and thus blossomed my affair with cranberry juice.  Bladder infections or UTI’s as the doctors called them, became my constant companions for two decades and were joined by chronic pelvic pain.

I consulted my first urologist but by no means the last in 1995.   She casually delivered the blow.  “I think you may have Interstitial Cystitis.”  Those words seemed to increase my pain.  The more I obsessed about my symptoms the worse they became.  I believed I was destined to suffer.

My Back Joins the Conversation

The year: 1997.  My fiancé and I drove home from Tahoe with me lying flat on my back in the rear of his car, seats folded down.  Back pain had joined my pelvic pain for the past 18 months and my back hurt too badly to sit upright.  Our weekend consisted of him snowboarding during the day while I read in bed.  I had heard about Dr. John Sarno’s book, Healing Back Pain and finished reading it on the drive home.  Why hadn’t a doctor ever mentioned the possibility of a mind-body connection?

On the drive, we talked about the stress in my life over the past two years.  My mother had suffered severe depression so badly she tried to kill herself not once, but three times and a long-term romantic relationship ended with dramatic flare.  I turned to my fiancé and said, “Honey, I think this doctor is on to something and I’m going to give it a try.”

The next morning my back pain was barely noticeable.  Was that possible?  I stuck with it, continued to call my own mind’s bluff and within a week I went for a jog on the local dirt trail for the first time in over a year.  This was my powerful introduction to the mind-body connection.  My back pain never returned but there was more than a decade to go for me to learn from my bladder.

Throw In A Dose of Autism

In 2002, I gave birth to my first son.  Right after his birth I couldn’t pee without pain and sometimes I couldn’t even go.  This lasted for weeks.  I felt frozen.  I couldn’t will it to happen.  The pain seared through my pelvis.  A specialist from Stanford diagnosed, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction and possible Interstitial Cystitis.  Then pile on top my son’s diagnosis of autism at the age of three and I was in a world of hurt.

I tried diets, trigger point massage (that’s just plain awkward having someone else’s hand up your who-ha), antibiotics, pain medication, abstinence, supplements, homeopathy and energy work.  You name it., I likely tried it; all looking outside my own body for the answers.  I didn’t find them there.

I Learn To Decode The Messages

The year: 2009.  I found the answers.  They lived within me.  When I asked for help, they were there, patiently and at times not-so-patiently waiting.

I stood, holding the yoga pose for what felt like hours until my legs began to shake.  Abigail asked, “Do you notice anything coming up?”

“Hell yes!!  Anger.” I answered.  Wow, where did that come from?  Who was I mad at?  I had no idea I was so angry.

“I’d like you to start with free writing.  Just write whatever comes up for you” Abigail suggested.  So I wrote, and I wrote and the stuff I’d been suppression for years began to percolate up through the resistance.

Weeks later, on a call with another coach, the anger began to surface and my body began to shake.  The coach suggested, “Grab the nearest pillow, take a good, deep breath and yell, scream and express the anger in whatever form that allows you to feel it.”

I put the phone down, took a deep breath, shoved the pillow into my face and screamed as loudly and forcefully as I could.  Then I did it again…then again.  I felt the tension release from my body and collapsed.  The tears flowed.  Tears of relief… tears of release…tears of cleansing.  Next came the grief that was buried below the anger.  I blew the doors wide open on my healing journey.

Pain Is The Messenger

Today, I’m full of gratitude for the gifts and wisdom my body provides me every day.  When I open up and listen, I hear my wisdom clearly.  When I stop listening, my body just gets louder until I do.

Clients ask me, “Are you pain-free?”

My answer, “I’m now pain-aware.”

I have many days where my body communicates in whispers and hushed tones so slight I consider it a pain-free day.  When I do experience louder pain, I greet the pain as my teacher and go to work to discover the message.

I delight in moments like yesterday.  The sensation began in my pelvis, like a low-burning fire smoldering in my belly.  When I asked my body for the answers, they were there.  I took several deep breaths, relaxed, did the work and within moments the pain dissipated.  I thank my body daily for the wisdom it carries when I’m open to listening.

With love and healing,

Diane

Mark your calendar!  It’s time for another FREE CALL around here!

This one is MOST exciting and yet…restful.

Join me for a fantastic free call with Intentional Resting creator Dan Howard.  What is Intentional Resting?  It’s a simple, straightforward method of releasing mental and physical tension, being present, and feeling great.  It’s a PERFECT tool to add to your mind-body healing toolbox, because it is so effective at releasing the fight or flight response from your body.

I consider myself to be fairly mind-body proficient – maybe even a little mind-body nerdy!  I spend lots of time experimenting on myself to find ways to get even more relaxed, even more aware of my body’s messages, and even more present.  I read piles of books on this subject.  I consistently practice a variety of techniques.  And Intentional Resting is now at the top of my list!  I love it.  It’s extremely effective.  It’s one of those tools that will reduce pain in the moment very quickly, but used over time can be even more powerful.  Think preventative medicine.  I’ve been particularly busy lately with tons of fabulous, fun, and exciting opportunities.  I’ve used Resting to navigate the busy yet fun time without getting completely exhausted or crashing into adrenal burnout.  Resting is something that will help you on a variety of levels – physical tension/pain, emotional stress, an overactive mind, and more.

So – please join me as I interview Dan about Intentional Resting!  He will take us all through a Resting practice and explain how this helps relieve pain and create health.  This one is a must!

Intentional Resting with Dan Howard

Tuesday, May 25

6 PDT/7 MDT/8 CDT/9 EDT pm

To download the call recording, CLICK HERE.