You’re a wimp, because you are not doing all the “normal” things.

You’re a burden to everyone around you, because you’re in pain/unwell/depressed.

You’re messing up things for your whole family.

You’re not trying hard enough.

You should be better by now.

You’re too sensitive.

No one will love you or want to be with you if you’re in pain/weak.

I’ve heard that voice in my head, too, and let me tell you, it’s not helping anything. If you think you’re going to beat yourself into health, well, think again.

Literally, think again. It’s time to see the truth, because those statements above? Those are lies.

Here is the truth, which I share from my vantage point of having been in severe pain, having had severe depression, and knowing exactly what it’s like to walk the challenging path of illness.

You are a warrior.

I mean that in every positive way possible.

You live with excruciating pain, whether it’s physical or emotional. You do it. Even if you’re furious about it, even if you complain about it, even if you hate it, you still do it. There may be times when you’re able to be graceful about it. There may be times when you are a hot mess about it. Either way, you do it. You get up every day, and you do life.

You don’t get to have the “yeah, but,” here. (Yeah but, I don’t do life the way other people do life. I’m not running marathons, winning awards, or blah blah blah.)

Nope, you don’t get to say that.

You are facing enormous discomfort every day, and you are, if you’re here reading this blog, willing to deeply connect with yourself and look at your inner world with courage and conviction. (Some days it feels hard, and you take a break. But you’re still doing it!) You’re willing to create change within yourself. You’re willing to see what it is inside your own head that’s holding you back.

Those thoughts up there? They’re holding you back. You are enormously strong, because it takes everything you have just to do each day. Yet, you still do it. You’re still here, doing exactly what you can in this moment to be here.

You get to be angry that you’re in pain. You get to be a hot mess sometimes. You get to be exactly as you are. You get to know that this sucks a lot right now, and it’s ok to say that.

Then, give yourself enormous credit. Start saying things like this to yourself:

I am incredibly strong.

I feel so much, and I can handle it.

I have a well of compassion in me as a result of this experience.

I am humble because of this experience.

I am brought to my knees, where I can access my own heart instead of race through life.

I am practicing the art of self-love.

I take amazing care of myself, because I matter deeply.

I am kind to my body, wherever it is on the journey, because health is not a status symbol.

Health is not a measure of my worth.

I am deserving of every good thing in the world, just like everyone else.

I am a warrior.

Don’t beat yourself into more pain.

Love yourself into true wellness.

True wellness starts within, deep within your heart. True wellness spreads from that center out into your psyche, your body, and your life.

Achievements, what you do, what you get done, how much you travel, and all the other success signifiers are false markers on the path to wellness. Warriors do the work that no one sees. Warriors go inside and feel the discomfort, and sometimes fall apart. Warriors create a safe space for themselves to be vulnerable, real, and open. Warriors care deeply about those they love, and they include themselves in that group. Warriors know that St. Francis de Sales was right when he said, “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”

Be gentle with yourself, warrior. You can’t achieve health. You have to gently, kindly, rest into your soul and let go of the one thing that chains you to the prison wall: Thinking that achievement, health, and doing are markers of goodness.

Goodness and worth reside within you, always. No matter what. This is the powerful lesson you have no choice but to face when you pain yanks you out of normal life.

Through mind-body healing, you will get your life back. It will be a whole new life, in which you know yourself to be a warrior. You will be whole, no matter what your body can or cannot do. And that is actually pretty damn cool.

By Endorsed Mind-Body Coach Gail Kenny

It’s time to take the women’s rights movement to the next level, which is inside you.  It’s time to clear out what’s holding you back, inside your body and soul, from full feminine empowerment and the ease of living your right life in a balanced way.  The women before us made great strides in the freedoms we now enjoy as women in the Western world.  What’s still holding us back from fully claiming our human rights of equality are old patterns of being we learned as children, behaviors we inherited from our families, and the image of women in mainstream media, all of which are felt in our bodies.

Conditioning

How your body feels has more to do than you might realize with your thought patterns, habits of relating to your emotions and body, and to your childhood conditioning.  It’s common for pelvic pain symptoms to occur or flare up during and after emotionally difficult experiences.  Even our limiting beliefs and oppressive conditioning about what it is to be a woman can cause physical pain and dysfunction in our bodies, especially in the pelvic bowl which houses the female organs.

Shame

There is shame and confusion around what it is to be a woman.  We all want to be treated as fairly and as equally as possible.  Yet we learn early on that girls are valued differently than boys and that fair and equal often doesn’t happen in reality.  As little girls we get the message that our appearance is what counts the most in being a valued member of society.  We’re traumatized and we don’t even know it.

Denial

This translates to feeling like there’s something wrong with us, we aren’t good enough, or we’re not worthy.  We cope with this denial of our true selves by changing our behavior to protect ourselves, sometimes by acting out, joining activist movements, burying emotions inside, or putting up a happy façade, as if we’re okay with being treated as less than.  Then we try even harder to be perfect to prove that we’re good, to earn love and acceptance through other people’s reactions to us.  We try so hard to be the person our parents want us to be and later who our husbands and children need us to be as we desperately try to prove our worthiness.

Symptoms

We don’t realize we hold the shame of being women in our physical bodies.  Symptoms can show up as depression, eating disorders, perfectionism, chronic pain, anxiety, addiction, and any number of other ways.  It showed up for me as chronic pelvic pain and I’ve witnessed this in many of the women I work with.  It’s the pain of not fitting in, not being validated for who we are at our core, the shame of feeling like we’ve done something wrong, or we don’t belong, and not knowing why.

Suffering

What’s often the cause of this dis-ease is the inner wounded child self has taken refuge behind heavy protection.  This affects our ways of being in the world which gives the illusion of keeping us safe from harm.  The wounded child remains frozen in time behind her pain of protection from further suffering.  The wound is from having what comes most naturally to her being denied, devalued, disapproved, or abandoned.  So she lives her life for other people, does her best to fit in and not to ruffle tempers while she suffers in silence, forgotten and alone, desperately trying to stay safe.

Reconnection

All of this discomfort gets stuck in the body, especially in the pelvic area.  The way to heal this disconnect is to go inside and retrieve the wounded self through exploring sensations in the body.  Once you can connect with and understand the underlying conditions of the energy that’s behind your pain, you can make the changes that are needed to shift and heal the wounded self, empower her, and bring her back into being an integral part of who you are and how you show up.

Value and Strength

Once you can access where you are stuck you can create your own safety.  You value yourself as a woman and individual in a very real and natural way without having to prove anything.  You find the strength of being a woman, living with viable self-esteem, showing up authentically and confident with your natural way of being in the world.  You set the expectation for other people to treat you this way too.  This is what can heal your pain and free up your energy to be vital in your body and soul.

You Are Priceless

Choose to value femininity.   Recognize the pricelessness of it in your family and your community.  Model for your friends, families and coworkers what it is to be whole and empowered.  When you heal the conflict within you and live the truth of your femininity, you heal the suffering of your wounded self and shift for the better now and into the future cultural beliefs, expectations, and value placed on what it is to be a woman.

Endorsed Coach – Gail Kenny

When I found Abigail I had been struggling with chronic pelvic pain (including pain in my lower abdomen, IC symptoms, yeast infections and myofascial pain) for over 20 years. Mind-body coaching was the last thing I needed to truly get my life back. I know first-hand the challenges of healing chronic pelvic pain and I’m well prepared to help you with your healing. I’m also a certified Martha Beck life coach and trained psychic.

I work with people in physical pain who have already tried all the normal solutions. I help them heal old dysfunctional habits of thinking and feeling. I teach them to relate to their body, emotions, mind, and soul in new ways, creating relief from underlying tension, healing pain from the inside out and getting back to living the life they want. Start with your free pain relief practice here.