What happens when you quiet your mind, feel your emotions, listen to your body, and drop into a place where you can meet with your soul…your higher self…the universe and hear its message?

What if you put down the knife that you keep falling upon and instead ask yourself what it is you need to know in this moment, particularly in regards to your health and body? Yesterday, I did just that and here is the message I received from my soul. May it help guide you in your own perfect journey…

You are beautiful and strong.
You have done so much for yourself.
This is just a new part of that.
Caretaking is not a simple process.
It never ends.
It’s a way of life.
You now know what you need to do next, because you finally listened.
And it’s okay that it took you as long as it did to get here.
We are borrowing this body.
It is a vessel through which we learn everything we need to know.
This would not be a journey if we were already at our destination.
Just pay attention, and remember that if it’s not love, it’s not true.

This is your perfect journey.

Master Mind-Body Coach Jessica Steward helps healing & creative entrepreneurs get their work out into the world. She lives outside of Boston with her husband, dog, two cats, and two ukuleles. The cats can’t play the ukuleles. Yet.

Why practice at all?

Because it’s so much fun and so amazing to hear your intuitive inner wisdom. And it’s even more fun to hear it loud and clear. The more you practice (playfully!), the louder your intuitive voice speaks to you. It makes daily decisions much simpler and the path to your right life much more efficient. Whether you want to re-align with your body and feel healthy and comfortable in your own skin or you long to have a successful and fulfilling coaching practice, your intuitive voice is the ultimate guide. Your soul steers you perfectly. All you have to do is tune in!

On my birthday in December, 2010, I did a meditation and tuned in to my soul. It told me it was time to start down the path to motherhood. Prior to that, I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to be a mom. After that, I knew I was meant to be one. A little soul wanted to come hang out with my husband and me. Even though it sounded terrifying and exciting and life-changing and mind-blowing all at once, I knew it was the right next step.

Now I’m going to write something I had no idea I’d write today. I’m going to tell you the whole story that led up to this moment, today, where I’m having fun announcing if baby is a boy or girl. (I’ll tell you, I promise!)

When I miscarried last year, it was too early to know whether or not we were having a boy or a girl. However, from going through the experience, I felt that it was twins, and my doctor thought that was probably the case. I knew it was a boy and a girl. After the miscarriage, whenever I meditated and tuned in to my soul, I felt like I was also in touch with the little girl’s soul. She began to send me loving messages every time I connected to my own soul.

She told me that she wanted to be with me, to be my child, but that the first attempt wasn’t quite right – there were reasons we had to wait and start over again. Some were physical, some were spiritual, and some were emotional – I had things I needed to work through. She told me I would grow and learn and be ready soon. She said she and her brother were just fine, even though they didn’t finish their journey to be here in little baby bodies. I could feel the truth of this. Even as I grieved, even as I felt the loss of what was to be, I could feel that they were truly okay.

The baby girl soul told me she was coming back. She’d even already told us what her name was, but asked us to keep it to ourselves until she was born.

After this, I felt really excited to get pregnant again. Yet, my soul kept telling me to wait. I had healing to do, on every single level possible. So, though I was impatient and sometimes argumentative, I listened to that intuitive voice and waited.

I’m not really good at waiting. It was hard. Then, one night I had a dream. In the dream, I was far along in a pregnancy, and really happy. The dream was so vivid that it stuck with me for days. You see, in the past, I’d had a recurring dream that I was pregnant. In that recurring dream, I’d be very excited, but then I’d go stand in front of the mirror only to discover that I didn’t look pregnant anymore, and there was no baby. Three days before my miscarriage, I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom, and I noticed something looked different, as though I wasn’t pregnant anymore. It was the moment from the dream, happening in real life. (I’ve always had eerily accurate dreams like this, about myself and other people.)

To finally dream about being happily pregnant, for the first time in my life, felt like a deeply joyous message. I took it as a good sign. I thanked my soul.

Then, finally, the waiting was over. It was time to embark on the journey again. Exactly one year after my birthday meditation, I got the news – I was pregnant. It was the perfect birthday present.

Over the next two months, I had six dreams. In the first five, I was holding a little baby girl. I could see every feature of her face. In the dreams, I kissed her face and told her how adorable she was. I nursed her and snuggled with her. It was as though she was already here, in my arms. In the sixth dream, she was a little girl, laughing and playing. She seemed so absolutely real that I could hardly imagine anyone else but her inside my womb.

So I have to say, when the doctor looked at the ultrasound screen, smiled and said, “It’s a girl!” I wasn’t exactly surprised. Filled with joy? Yes. Deliriously happy? Yes. Filled with love? Yes.

I can’t wait to hold you in my arms, little baby girl!

I am not one of them.

I’ve always had a terrible case of curiosity, which I like to think makes me a great coach. (I’m sure it can also make me an annoying sister and friend, but hey, I’m going with the positive thinking here.)

I’ve been waiting for months for the ultrasound where, hopefully, my curiosity will be abated. On April 2, if the doc can see everything clearly, we’ll know if we’re having a boy or girl!

I thought it would be fun to play with intuition and invite you to practice tuning into yours for this momentous event. I’ve been intuiting and I have a feeling about the baby’s gender. (No, I’m not telling.)

Want to play? Here’s how:

1)     Take a couple of deep breaths. Notice your feet and hands to help you ground into your body.

2)     Imagine your wise soul sitting with you and enveloping you in loving, wise energy.

3)     Ask your soul to show you an image, share in words, or convey in whatever way works best for you whether the baby is a boy or girl.

4)     Wait for the answer without any pressure to get it right. We’re just playing, here!

5)     When you have it, fill out the survey below!

This is an ideal way to practice tuning in to your soul and hearing your intuition, because chances are you are not emotionally invested in my baby. You’re likely just fine with me having a girl or a boy. There’s nothing riding on the outcome, so you can just play. And play is the key to tapping into your intuitive inner wisdom! The more you play-practice in this way, the more trust you’ll build in your intuitive abilities. You do NOT have to be perfect. All you have to do is be willing to play. 

Here is the survey! I’ll share the results next week, as well as the results of the ultrasound!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GBDZB7D

 As I brainstormed the new website, the new materials I was creating, and how I wanted my business to look and feel, I realized that I want to converse with you all, on a daily basis, about all of this. Body, mind, emotions, and soul. I want to create a giant conversation that brings the soul to the forefront of our conscious awareness, rather than just this nice thing that we ponder sometimes but that gets lost in daily life.

That’s why I started the anamsong Facebook page. I wanted a place where we can talk daily – about whatever you need. I can give you tips and tools to use, or concepts to think about, or just start a conversation. I can hear how things are going for you, where you’re confused, where you’re really aligned with your soul, and more. We can troubleshoot and we can celebrate, both.

I thought you should know my intention and my vision, so that you can join in if it feels fun and freeing to do so. You’re most certainly invited! Come hang out, hit the Like button, and share (or just take in the conversation). Do what serves you and your soul the most. Most of all, though, I look forward to talking with anyone who wants to talk about the magic of tuning into the soul, the journey of listening to the body, the power of feeling emotions, and the creative force of a soul-aligned mind.

See you over there!

Anamsong Facebook Page

Last year, I thought I would be pregnant and then give birth to a baby.

Instead, I miscarried. Then I ended up being pregnant with my life’s work and giving birth to that instead.

Of course I mourned the loss of my baby. I grieved. I healed. But I’ve also had enough experience with my mind-body-soul connection to know that there was infinite wisdom in the experience, somewhere. I would just have to wait to see it.

Sure enough, I can see it now.

I needed to spend time writing and creating this new material. It brought me clarity. It connected me more deeply to my life’s mission: To facilitate the mind-body connection for anyone who needs it. To teach other coaches how to do the same. To help those who are suffering return to their inner wisdom, gain strength and confidence, and trust their own soul once again.

To do all that, I needed to connect with my own soul on a whole new level. Losing the baby and reassessing my whole life made me do that. It was the path I needed to take this past year.

Many years ago, a similar thing happened. I suffered mightily at the hands of chronic pain and mental panic. I went through hell. At that time, I didn’t trust my soul. I didn’t think it was happening to help me grow as a person. I just thought I was being tortured.

And yet…that experience forced me to take charge of my inner life. It forced me to stop playing the victim role and to dig deep into my own power. It forced me to learn how to heal myself, and to learn that was even possible. It forced me to look at where I was unwittingly creating stress in my body and imbalance in my psyche.

In the end, I became a totally new me. I became the real me, the Abigail who lets her soul sing, every day. Who no longer hides, hates her body, or uses achievement as her only way to self-worth. I became intimately aware and connected with my own soul, my spiritual beliefs, and the energy that keeps me alive, every day. I became a person who listens to her body, lets her emotions flow, and doesn’t criticize herself constantly.

I didn’t become perfect. I learned how to forgive myself for not being perfect, and how to know that I’m already perfect, just as I am.

I also found my life’s work, my passion, my calling – whatever you want to call it.

All that from suffering and pain.

Of course, I’d love to learn my big life lessons from joy instead of pain. And I actually think that’s possible, now. But I do know myself, and I know my stubborn streak. I needed a good whap upside the head to awaken to my true life path.

In just a couple weeks, anamsong will be officially born. I’ll be the proud mother of a baby I really do love, even if she’s not the one I thought I’d be holding in my arms. So maybe this post is my birth announcement. I’m so deliriously in love with everything that’s associated with anamsong. I love the Irish word “anam” in the name. I love that I’m finally finding a way to incorporate all of me into what I do – my musician self, my coach self, my writer self, and my teacher self. I love that I’ll be able to clearly serve three different groups of people: people in physical pain, people fighting mental stress, and coaches looking to grow amazing businesses.

You know what?

In a lot of ways, this birth announcement is really the rebirth of me. I feel whole and complete. I feel good in my own skin. I like who I am. I love who I am. I love what I do. Finally, all of me gets to come out and play.

When we fall off the shelf and shatter to pieces, we aren’t broken. Instead, we discover the amazing work of art that was inside all along.

I’ve fallen and shattered many times. I’ll probably do it again. But I’ll be reborn, just that much more whole, each time.

Let’s have a party to celebrate rebirth. I’m creating a new Facebook page for anamsong, and when it’s ready, I’ll let you know. You’re invited to come celebrate launch week there, with me. I don’t know what we’ll do at the party yet, but it will be virtual, fun, and whatever we want it to be. Share your party ideas with me! I might be sweaty, exhausted, and a proud new mama, but I’ll be ready to celebrate.

So here’s a deep, dark, confidence secret. SHHHHH. Close the door. Ready?

It’s okay to not feel 100% awesome about yourself, all the time. It’s okay to be where you are, in this moment, feeling whatever you’re feeling. Part of being confident and having self-worth is knowing that you don’t have to do anything perfectly – including confidence. Even though my overall confidence has improved greatly, I still have days when I don’t feel confident.

Yet, my experience now is so different from what it used to be. Now, I am okay with not being okay. I am even okay with not really being okay with being okay. Just try to figure that one out! What I’m trying to say is – I’m in a new place of awareness about myself.  I don’t have to be on top of the world to feel good about myself. I’m not perfectly achieving anything or living a perfectly raining-rose-petals daily life, and I have in fact made approximately seven-hundred faux pas today alone. Still, even in my crappiest self esteem moments, I feel an underlying sense of peace with who I am.

I used to have the misperception that other people had it all figured out, or were perfect, or never felt bad about themselves, ever. I thought I was less than if I didn’t do things perfectly or “right,” or feel great about myself all the time. I wanted to be one of those people who had it all figured out and had risen above, somehow. I didn’t realize that the way to true confidence and self-worth traverses through the messy, human, imperfections in all of us. Having it all figured out is a myth. I didn’t know that by letting myself being imperfect and human, I’d float up to the surface and find joy.

This is why I love mind-body healing so much. I started out trying to find pain relief from vulvoynia, interstitial cystitis, and irritable bowel syndrome, and I ended up discovering gold. I discovered how to feel better about myself, how to truly ease off the pressure I put on myself, and how to love even my most human, messed-up, messy, ugly, blechy moments. Which means I can relax into my very humanness, my very imperfection, and land into a place of peace, even when I’m not doing all of this relaxing into myself perfectly. That may sound like a paradox, but it’s the best I can do to explain this at the moment.

How did this happen? Well, it was a natural expansion of using the mind-body healing process for pain relief.  The mind-body healing process essentially reconnects you to your soul. This means you can hear your soul wisdom. You can finally see yourself from the vantage point of your soul. Over time, spending more and more moments seeing from that vantage point creates a totally new perspective. The more time you consciously spend there, the more you naturally and effortlessly end up there. This means your mind spends more time telling you what your soul is saying and less time telling you tall tales. Again – it’s not about perfection. We’re just looking to tip the scales here, so that you eventually spend more time seeing how incredible, amazing, talented, and special you are and less time criticizing yourself.

If you’re having a crappy self esteem day (or month…or year…) you will be more likely to believe your mind when it tells you how awful your butt looks or how you are an idiot for messing up that presentation, etc. You will be more likely to look at others and think they have it all figured out and pulled together. (My colleague and friend Jessica Steward calls this compare and despair. How awesome is that!) Yet, even if your mind is doing that, you can step back and observe it, notice it, and know, even though you kind of believe your mind right now, that your soul sees you differently.

Your soul sees you through the eyes of love, always. It loves you unconditionally. It knows you are always okay, so it never worries about you. It knows that you are perfectly lovely, mistakes and all, cellulite and all, bad hair days and all. It sees your humanness with a mix of gentle laughter and a loving, nurturing embrace. It wants to hold you close and stroke your hair, let you cry it out, and then celebrate with you as joy returns. Your soul is like the most mothering, nurturing, loving being you can possibly imagine.

Confidence doesn’t happen when you finally get it all right, reach perfection, do it as good as so-and-so did, or attain your lofty, weighty goals. Confidence happens when you hear your soul. It happens when you and your soul are on the same page, and you let your soul sing. It happens when you spend time practicing linking up with your soul, which means connecting to your body, feeling your emotions, and consciously opening up to your soul wisdom. Not sure how to put that all together? Oh, don’t you worry! It’s coming! Stay tuned. I’m writing away like mad these days.

Suffice it to say, your soul knows the biggest secrets of all.

Here’s the first one: We are all equals. We are all geniuses. We are all amazing. We are all special. We are all unique, and have unique things to offer, in our own unique ways. No one is more incredible than someone else. We’re just all on our own individual incredible path, showing up as these fascinatingly individual people. We are all human. We are none of us superwoman, and yet we are all superwoman, at the same time. We are humanly divine and divinely human.

Here’s the second one: There’s nothing wrong with you, no matter what you think you need to change about yourself to be “better.” That’s the biggest tall tale of all. You are already okay – in fact, much more than okay – exactly as you are. Even if you committed the faux pas I committed today, even if you are still overweight, even if you spent time crying under a blanket and hiding from the world yesterday (oh yes, this still happens, even when you’ve learned to love yourself!), even if you aren’t where you think you should be with whatever is on your mind, you are loved. You are a part of this great big playground of human beings, and you get to be here, to play, even on your worst days. You are part of the whole, even as you strike out on your own to create your own, individual work in the world.

That’s how you know your own self-worth. You listen to this wise soul of yours, and you follow its guidance. What you end up with may look totally different than other people, and that’s okay. It’s about learning to trust your own unique spin on life. There is no wrong way. You can’t really avoid the wrong way or find the right way. Instead, you have to look for your individual way, as told to you by your soul. Because I’m a musician, I like to call that your soul song. Sing it, baby!