I’m a newly endorsed mind-body coach.  Along with all the mental and health benefits I’ve received from practicing the tools, my coaching practice is filling up. Remarkably I’ve got clients who want to see me week after week.  They are becoming increasingly grateful and complimentary.  Suddenly I’m finding myself with days of back to back clients scheduled.  My confidence and effectiveness as a coach has increased exponentially.  I’m much better at allowing what is for myself and allowing for my inspiring clients too.

This is what I’ve wanted for so long, so why am I feeling so much discomfort along with my newfound success?  Is my body saying no, just as I’m getting what I want?  As I put myself out into the world and coach authentically, the excitement, exhilaration, and contentedness is accompanied by some heavy duty fear.

I’m afraid they will find out I’m a fraud.
I’m afraid that I won’t be good enough.
I’m afraid that I will disappoint them.
I’m afraid that I will screw up and miss appointments.
I’m afraid my kids or the doorbell will interrupt the call and our flow.
I’m afraid I won’t have time to do other things.

As I think about all of these worries, my stomach churns in the form of a writhing worm.  One impulse I feel is to go back and hide, to withdraw.  When I take a moment to breathe, listen to my body, connect and talk to the worm, he has a lot to tell me…

It is not about being perfect and having “arrived”.  This is a lifelong journey and practice.  By not being perfect I show others it’s okay that they aren’t perfect.  In truth we are all totally perfect anyway.

Coaching isn’t about me or how good I am.  It is about connecting clients to their own inner wisdom.  This is their journey.

There are many other amazing mind-body coaches.  If for some reason I can’t help maybe someone else can.  Maybe I’m just not meant to help them.

If I screw up and I will, it will only show that I am human and make mistakes too.  There will be a good reason for each mistake.  I can put systems in place to sync calendars and check appointments each morning.  This will lessen the likelihood of error.

I can schedule appointments when my kids or others won’t be here.   I can leave doorbells unanswered.

I can set my own schedule and work as little or as much as my inner wisdom dictates.

Though I’ve heard and thought of much of this specific wisdom before, this time I know it is true for me. I can feel the truth of it.  After our chat, my worm feels calmer and is resting.  I feel fondness and gratitude toward him.  I know he will be with me for a long time to come.

In this case, the discomfort and fear in my body wasn’t saying no.  It didn’t really want me to go and hide.  My fear was giving me more details about how to be a coach and even practical suggestions about setting up my business and managing my time.

Given my new found knowledge and connection with my discomfort, I’m ready if you need help connecting with your own inner worm or sources of discomfort.  What are they trying to tell you?  I’m curious.

*Thanks to my fellow mind-body trainees and coaching buddies for helping me talk with my worm and face my fear.