I’ve seen it time and time again with clients.  After a while, we don’t even talk about physical symptoms during sessions.  We’re too busy with the self-discovery process.  It takes us to new, healthier, happier places.  The more we learn about ourselves, the more we discover how beautiful, complex, and fascinating we are.

Of course, I may be biased, since I love self-discovery (both in my own life and clients’ lives).  I love it so much that I’ve made a career of it.  Yet, we’re all a bit afraid of it.  We don’t always want to know what we’re really thinking or feeling.  We don’t always want the unvarnished truth.  I certainly didn’t, at first.  My self-discovery process was expedited by vulvar and vaginal pain, maddening interstitial cystitis symptoms, and other physical pain.  In other words, I was drug relentlessly forward into self-discovery, kicking and screaming all the way.

But now – oh, how I love it!  Not only because it keeps me pain-free, but because it’s powerful.  Yeah, slightly scary sometimes.  But oh, so worth it.

Just a few weeks ago, I was at the Yoga Journal Conference with my business partner, yoga teacher Jess Ryan.  We were there to learn, but also to experience more self-discovery.  I took a class about head, neck, and shoulder alignment, which sounds quite banal.  I had no idea it would be the catalyst for this year’s biggest self-discovery moment yet.

After just a few short minutes of this class, I discovered that I habitually hunch my shoulders, curl them inward, and let my head droop a little.  I was flabbergasted to see that my upper body still reflects old thought patterns of insecurity and fear.  Being a mind-body coach, I knew that my mind and body were out of sync, and that I wouldn’t truly walk in my own power and strength until both mind and body were on the same page.  I also knew that there must still be lingering thoughts about myself shaping how I hold my body.  So off I went, down the road of self-discovery.

As the class continued, we learned how to position the hyoid (a small bone in the throat) right above the shoulders.  We learned how to lead with our hearts, literally, by raising the front of the chest cavity and sliding the shoulder blades flat against our backs.  It didn’t feel military at all – in fact, it was surprisingly comfortable.

As I played with this new body position, moving through yoga poses, walking, and sitting, a revelation hit me.  I have spent a lifetime hunching to try to hide my broad shoulders and seem smaller.  So much of my life has been spent trying to be smaller in so many ways.  My body has heard this message so much that it has literally changed its shape.

In that moment, I decided I am done trying to be smaller.  I am ready to embrace my strong, broad, shoulders.  I am ready to be me, exactly as I am.  I am ready to take up space in the world, to speak my truth, and be powerful.  I am ready to be a leader.  So, I stood up, hyoid back and heart up.  I turned to Jess and asked her what she thought.  She smiled.  “You look confident,” she said.  I felt confident.  I felt my body reflecting my self-love.

Why do we hide ourselves?  Why do we try to be smaller?  Usually, because we’re afraid of what others will think.  We crave love and approval from others, and so we change our shapes in an effort to be what we think others want.  I say, no more of this!  Let’s take this self-discovery journey and open back up, petal by petal, into the bright, beautiful flowers we already were, at birth.

When we try to hide ourselves, it affects our bodies.  Eventually, they protest.  Thank goodness!  I invite you, today, to come with me in this journey and to be a little more of who you really are, each day.  Show the world one more piece of you.  I’ll start by sharing another piece of me, with you.  (It requires a short story.)

Shortly before the yoga conference, I told Jess something I hadn’t really told anyone yet.  I told her I was writing a novel, and that I’ve always felt there’s a novel inside me.  As I gave her a quick synopsis of the plot, I hunched over and mumbled, “and, there’s a magic violin in my novel.”  She immediately scolded me and pointed out my reluctance to share that tidbit.  “OWN the magic violin,” she said.  So I said it again, loudly, right outside on a public sidewalk.  It felt great.

The point of all this is that you’re probably doing the same thing.  You’re probably hiding bits and pieces of yourself, here and there.  Your body is reminding you to bring them into the light, where they belong, other people’s opinions be damned!  (Though I think you’ll be surprised at the support you get when you allow yourself to be you.   Our minds usually fabricate what other people will think, when in fact they often love us more, in the end, when we are ourselves.)

This week, your homework is to find one little thing about yourself you can celebrate and share with the world.  You might have a little fun and create a mantra for yourself to repeat whenever you want to step confidently into your power.  Mine is: Hyoid back, Heart up, Magic Violin.  I say at least once a day, and then I head out into the world, fully myself.  Feeling even more whole than ever, thanks to this never-ending journey of self-discovery.

I first met Jess Ryan because of what some might call coincidence, others might call synchronicity, and I call the answer to a prayer.

As a mind-body coach, I wanted to take my work into a new realm; I wanted to combine mind-body coaching with yoga.  Yoga played a big role in my healing process, not just because it stretched my body, but because it opened my breathing, facilitated the opening of my mind, and helped me to grow spiritually.  I felt that some people were missing out on the deeper elements of yoga because the language of yoga didn’t resonate or speak to them.  I also felt that adding yoga to the mind-body coaching process could facilitate it and increase its effectiveness.  I knew that taking the mind-body coaching tools and applying them in conjunction with yoga would be a magical, transformational synergy.

I didn’t want to train as a yoga instructor.  I have spent ten years studying mind-body healing from the mental angle, and I wanted someone with that same in-depth knowledge of yoga.  I wanted to give this subject the respect and expertise it deserved, and focus my own energy on going even deeper into the mind.  I know what kind of understanding can unfold from years upon years of study.  There is value in that kind of time and experience.  I have played the violin for over twenty years, and I know a whole lot more about what I don’t know about the instrument as a result.  I believe wisdom comes with deep, deep practice, and never-ending learning.

So, I asked the universe for the perfect yoga teacher.  I wanted her to know what I knew, but from a slightly different angle.  I wanted her to be fun to work with, and also motivated to connect these two fields as well.  I wanted her to be a friend.  I wanted to create something exciting together.

I was finishing up my job as a high school teacher, working double-time as a coach on the side.  It was the last week of school, and the teacher who was taking my place came in to meet with me.  After he and I met, he invited my husband and me to his house for dinner.   I think it was approximately one hour into the conversation with his wife, Jess, that I knew she was The One.

She and her husband had moved to Casper, Wyoming because he was taking my old job.  She was a yoga instructor – and not just any yoga instructor.  As we talked, it became clear that she was everything I had asked for, and more.  She had even experienced mind-body syndromes and read the same books.  We spoke the same language.

It didn’t take us that long to begin putting together joint workshops.  We experimented with different formats, played with the combination of yoga and mind-body coaching, and created something that seemed to work.  We liked it.  We liked it so much that we opened a yoga/mind-body studio so that we could practice it every week.  We practiced a LOT.  We had fun.  People started to make comments about how much they liked the combination, and how their lives were transforming.

We decided to give it a new name: Yo-Ching^SM – because it combined yoga and coaching, and because it was fun.  (Thank you, husbands, for the inspiration.)  Yo-Ching^SM is the culmination of that original dream I had.  It is the mixing of these two fields in a way that facilitates both, making them more effective and accessible.  Today, I am taking a moment to share this story with you, because it is an example of what happens when you do this kind of internal, mental-emotional work.  You get healthy.  You get clear.  You know who you are.  You dream.  You dream bigger.  You have more fun.  Your dreams come true, one by one.  I am drinking in this moment, appreciating that this dream has come true.

And next week, Jess and I will head off to give the first non-local Yo-Ching^SM Workshop.  It’s the kick-off of the Yo-Ching^SM Tour, which will have stops in Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana throughout the summer.   I can’t wait!  This is the best kind of mind-body healing.  It’s releasing old mental and physical patterns and learning new ones.  It’s stretching both the mind and the body and aligning with spirit and inner wisdom.  It’s kinesthetic learning at its best.  It’s mind-body coaching at its most effective.  It’s taking yoga to a new level for many people.  It’s downright fun.

If you want to join in on the fun and transformative healing, you’ll have many opportunities coming up.  As the workshops are scheduled, I’ll post them on the Workshops Page, where you can already register for next week’s workshop in Laramie, WY.  Click here to learn more!

I talk a lot about how to feel emotions, how to work with your own tricky mind, and other mental/emotional aspects of mind-body healing.  However, the other aspect of mind-body healing is mental awareness of the physical body.  For that reason, you’ll notice me teaming up with Jess Ryan, Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher, frequently throughout the year to help you learn how to become more and more aware of your body in beneficial ways.

Most of us do not realize how disconnected we are from our bodies until they scream at us in the form of pain.  We walk around oblivious to the tension in a variety of muscles, and therefore don’t access the message within that tension.  The muscles are trying with all their might to tell us about suppressed emotions, a life path that isn’t right for us, detrimental thoughts from our inner critic, and much more.  If we don’t check in with our bodies, we miss the messages.  Then, and only then, do we need the scream of pain to wake us up to the importance of body awareness.

What does your right big toe feel like right now?  How about your left ear?  What do the tips of your fingers feel like?  Are you breathing?  (I know it sounds like a silly question, but you’d be surprised how often you actually hold your breath throughout the day!)  Are you hungry? Full? Over-full?  Are you thirsty, tired, or over-stimulated?  Are you relaxed anywhere in your body?  Are you tense anywhere in your body?  What does your scalp feel like right now?

Is there anything your body wants to tell you in this moment?  Sit quietly and notice your breath.  Don’t try to change it – just ask it to do what it knows how to do.  Your body will run perfectly without mental interference.  It’s wise.  After watching several breaths, ask your body directly for any messages it might be longing to give you right now.  Then wait in silence.   Doodle on a piece of paper while you wait, and don’t judge anything that arises.  Just jot it down.

Then do it!

If nothing comes up, just keep up the technique a couple times each day.  Once your body notices your awareness, it will begin to speak to you.  You will learn how to hear its voice and translate from body speak (the easiest method is to draw or do anything that engages your right brain).  You are developing a brand new relationship with your body, so be patient.  Allow it to unfold in its own time.  Allow the body to learn to trust you, and you to trust it.

What did your body request?  Post below in the comments area!  I’d love to have a fun discussion about this, as it’s such an interesting topic!  Our bodies have so much to say.

Check out what Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher Jess Ryan and I are planning for you!