I will admit it. Patience is not exactly one of my strengths. According to the Kolbe Index I’m a Quick Start. This just means that my tendency is to dive into things headfirst and get going, ASAP. I pretty much do everything this way. On the one hand, it does mean I get a lot of things done. On the other, I often run up against lack of preparation, not enough information, and other such pitfalls.
I’ve often felt like I’m constantly pushing at the universe, asking it to work faster. Whatever is going on in my life, I’m behind it, pushing with both arms, face red with exertion, and legs taut with effort. Often (as in, always), this doesn’t really do any good. Even with all that extra energy and effort, things don’t really move along any faster.
A couple of years ago, I coined the term “over-efforting” to describe this way of living. I had caught on that it wasn’t working for me, and started to practice the art of listening for right timing. Things tend to work out easily, smoothly, and effortlessly if I listen for the perfect moment to do them.
Recently, though, I’ve been learning something even more interesting. I’ve been learning the art of waiting. In some ways, I’ve been learning this for over ten years, starting with my chronic pain syndrome journey and the discovery of mind-body healing. When I was struggling with vulvodynia and interstitial cystitis, I had to let my body take the lead and heal at its own pace. The more I tried to hurry it, the slower it went.
However, being pregnant has taught me a whole new level of following my body’s lead. There’s just no rushing a pregnancy. In fact, time has seemed to slow down while I’ve been pregnant, and I have this sense that there are more hours in the day than before. There are many things I cannot rush during this process.
I can’t rush the baby’s growth.
I can’t rush my mental and emotional readiness to be a parent.
I can’t rush my preparations for the baby’s arrival.
I can’t rush anything, because I mostly have to waddle everywhere.
I’ve started to see how waiting can be a good thing in my everyday life; maybe because this pregnancy is teaching me the art of waiting and there’s no dropping this class.
Over a year ago, we hired a contractor to renovate our home, and the project has lagged onward, dragging, sagging, and slowly, ever so very slowly, getting done. Recently, the contractor vanished for a month with nary a text or phone call. At first, I was resigned to a lost week of work. The second week brought some anxiety about getting the house ready before Baby Girl arrives. By the third week, I was annoyed as heck.
I wanted to call the contractor, text him, or drive to his home and drag him over here to work. Yet, something in me said, “Wait.” So I waited. I didn’t contact him. I breathed. I coached myself. I felt my emotions. And then, he contacted me. It turned out he’d had a terrible family emergency and had been dealing with that for four weeks. I was immensely relieved I had not sent angry texts numbers one-fifteen that I’d composed in my head. I was quite glad I hadn’t left any of the grumpy, hormonal messages I’d dreamed of leaving in his voicemail. Instead, I’d waited. Truly, for me, that is somewhat miraculous.
Lately, I’ve noticed that I hear that word a lot. “Wait,” says my soul, every time I want to push and hurry something along. When I want my husband to do something, I start to say it, start to push at him, and then I hear it. “Wait.” I breathe. I wait. I let the universe do its thing. Without me saying anything, he does what I’m hoping he’ll do. He’s already on it. He knows. He doesn’t need me to push.
Really, as far as I can tell, nothing needs me to push. Lately, I’ve taken to spending even more time resting and lolling about in a meditative state. This is partially due to my baby-growing exhaustion, but it’s also because I’ve realized that the less I push and force and try and effort, the more things magically just work. Without my help.
If you’re a law of attraction fan like me, you’ll find that you manifest what you want more quickly when you wait instead of push. (In fact, you might enjoy the article I wrote on Slacker Manifesting!
Here’s my new mantra, and you’re welcome to try it out, too:
I use it whenever I want to hurry, push, or go faster in any way.
Often when I start working with a client who wants physical pain relief or weight loss, the first thing they ask me is how long it took me to heal my own body. Pretty much everyone wants the healing process to happen quickly. I’ve learned, though, from my body, that healing cannot be rushed. The body will heal and return to balance with itself if you quit pushing it and start listening to it. There can’t be a time frame, a schedule, or a hurry.
Whatever you want – be it health, weight loss, joy, a successful business, stress relief, confidence, etc. – the answer lies in the art of waiting. When you wait and let the universe show you the way, you’ll know exactly what action steps will serve you. You’ll reserve effort for when it’s most efficient. You’ll make fewer people angry with you. You’ll enjoy a more peaceful existence within yourself. And, paradoxically, you’ll find that things get done faster. Which, for a Quick Start, is really, really good news.