Standing in front of the class, I began to tell my story. My public speaking coach had reviewed how to use gestures and suggested that I reach my arms out to illustrate my opening line – a line that recalls the memory of my two year-old self reaching for a parent’s connection until I hit a wall of emotional energy that said “Do Not Enter.”
I did as my coach suggested and reached my arms out; however, it felt completely unnatural.
Why did this gesture of reaching out feel so unnatural and why did it still bother me days later?
Upon searching for a new perspective, one of my elders asked me, “What gesture would feel more natural?”
I replied, “Actually, I don’t feel like moving at all.”
The contrast between the “Do Not Enter” energy and my loving exuberance had created enough confusion and overwhelm for my two year-old self to freeze in place.
I began to wonder what other frozen energy still remained inside of my body. My curiosity took me to another elder who helped me become aware of, and release, some of my frozen patterns. She also shared a new perspective: “No wonder your website has been under construction for the last two years – like the energy in your body, it’s been frozen!”
My inner and outer worlds had collided. If I didn’t get some heat on this frozen energy, I feared I would not be able to create the life I wanted – I’d never get my website launched and connect and serve those who resonate with my gifts most (Oh more frozen thought patterns!).
During this session, I also became aware of the risks I’d taken to melt this frozen energy: For decades, I’d placed myself inside a protective block of ice, but as I began engaging my elders for support in melting it away, I felt exposed and vulnerable within my existing relationships and environments. It’s as though I’d prompted others to see me question the status quo, the known, the predictable, the comfortable, and this brought tension to the surface. The thought I struggled with was, “It’s not safe to ‘come out’ as a mind-body coach/entrepreneur and healer” (which, by the way, I define as someone who heals themselves so they can create and hold space for others’ healing experiences).
So how can you make the process of transmuting frozen blocks into a more flowing liquid form, feel a bit “safer” – allowing you to connect into your creative flow and express your gifts?
When I try on the perspective that everything is energy, I can start to play with the possibilities. I can imagine that the frozen energy in my body, or my life circumstances, is like a magical soccer ball. It looks solid, and I can even play with it for a while, but I can also remember that I have the power to transform it into something else like a puddle of water, or into steam from a teapot.
For instance, I recently imagined myself as a contented baby in one of those jogger-strollers with the stroller representing all of the support that was available to me. This then led me to the notion that if I ever find myself crawling around on the floor, I can always get into the stroller and be glided into an easier way of doing things.
My stroller of support has included reaching out to a group of elders – healers, coaches, and other practitioners that have experience playing with these layers of frozen energy and transmuting them into new forms of creative self-expression. These are also individuals that not only have insightful perspectives and tools that I can apply, but there’s something about them that allows me to feel safe and supported as the ice in and around me melts into the flow.
These individuals also create and invite me to create my own safe spaces (Why not get in the stroller and head to the park vs. the parking lot?). They help me to remember that:
- You get to pick and choose the relationships and environments where it feels safe to unfold and transform that frozen energy
- You can tune into and trust your own inner wisdom to guide you toward what you need in order to feel safe and supported within those relationships and environments
- You can always become aware of the choices that are available to you (e.g. you can say no, you can leave, you can ask someone to join you in another location, you can start a new thought…). In fact, instead of taking flight, fighting, or freezing in response to stress, there is a forth option…
You can radiate – just by remembering that you are light is enough to melt and transform some of the frozen energy into your creative flow and experience connection.
From there, I believe you’ll have the space to create, all while feeling the joy of being in the flow of receiving guidance from your inner wisdom for what you need and want, and then reaching out to express your gifts and experience meaningful and supportive connections and relationships.
I can’t wait to see what we’ll all create from our frozen energy!
Mind-Body Coach Kelly C. Mullen started Whole-Self Wisdom Coaching to help those who feel exhausted stop all the doing and start being who they really are, so they can live a life with more ease, and make an impact in the world without compromising their health and ability to engage in meaningful and supportive relationships. Whether it’s through private coaching, or facilitating workshops, she creates and holds a space for her clients to strengthen the connection to the four parts of themselves – mind, body, spirit, emotions – so they can connect to and trust that their inner wisdom will guide them into more ease, energy and engagement. You’ll find her at www.kellycmullen.com