Flowing With the Flow

flowby Endorsed Coach, Meryl Feldman

I used to think that I had to work really hard to get things done, but when I became a coach and healer many years ago, I learned and practiced that the art of getting things done in this world is by entering a flow of creativity. It’s not about pushing, but about being pulled and listening for that gentle pulling forward.

The other morning, I was writing my memoir outside because the weather was so beautiful. I only work on this project in the early morning before carpool. During the day, I’m involved in other projects and life with family, coaching and continued learning causes me to be masterful with prioritizing my time.

Anyway, that morning, I felt the desire to move inside to continue writing. My desk overlooks my garden, my bird feeders and the one tree that graces our Chicago backyard. I was blessed to see such colorful birds including two that I’ve never seen before—two Rose-Breasted Grosbeaks. Such beautiful birds with black, white, and red markings! I didn’t continue working on the memoir, but delighted in the scene out my window and rolled with the flow to other parts of my life.

I’ve been working on the memoir for about two years now. It’s a huge project with a very steep learning curve. I used to think that I would just work on it a few full days a week and get it done. But I couldn’t. Not because life happened, but because flow didn’t happen.

I believe that all our work, parenting, health, whatever we are involved in, is about creativity.

All parts of our lives are creative happenings, and therefore it’s necessary to tap into the flow of our creative selves, to be in tune with higher intuition, and take action from that higher energetic vibration.

For me, the creative energy flow that I need to write the memoir happens in early morning, before the distractions and involvement of other areas of my life begin to take place. And no matter how involved I get in the flow of the memoir writing, I need to contain it when the clock strikes 8 am and getting my child ready for carpool needs to happen. And then I flow into that part of my life.

The same goes throughout the day; each activity and space of time requires a different kind of flow of creativity. I have a lot to do on my to-do list and because of my introvertedness, I’m careful to flow with my reserved energy. The ebb and flow of activity and downtime, talking and silence, is all taken into consideration as my energy flows through the day.

I also monitor closely if there are activities that drain my energy or give me a physical symptom like a headache. If either of those result, I take it to heart what my body is telling me and then dive in for some somatic information as to what’s going on. Did I push myself a little too long with a project or was the inner critic dragging on me when I was taking some action forward? Did I talk a little too long with someone or did I share too much of myself and energy in an interaction? I have to flow into healing mode to discern what’s going on and then make little shifts accordingly.

And how about you? Are you pushing yourself forward blindly or can you bring awareness to your flow and what wants to happen? Are you careful with your energy? If you’re an extrovert, do you surround yourself with people who you can express to? Do you work in an environment that nurtures your outgoing nature?

Or, if you’re an introvert like me, are you careful with that ebb and flow I spoke of? Are you aware and honoring of your need for quiet time in between ‘outward’ energy time?

And what projects light you up and excite you and which ones drag you way down? Sometimes it’s the activity itself that feels bad, but sometimes it’s the thoughts or the way that you’re approaching the activity that feels bad. Before you dump the activity or project, it’s important to discern what’s happening ‘behind the scenes’ in your mind, emotions and soul.

Maybe sometimes you are like me when nothing is flowing well because a strong emotion like anger, fear, or sadness comes up. When this happens, I know I need to take the time to address those before I can step into a flow of creativity. Being present and allowing those emotional energies is one way to get unblocked so that forward movement can resume in relationships, work, projects, and joy activities.

What helps you move forward?

Is it a gratitude list, a 10 minute meditation, or just some deep, conscious inhale and exhale breaths?

Trust is an important concept to bring into our awareness of flow. Like going back to the memoir writing which I had put aside and bird watched instead. When I didn’t return to that activity that morning, I trusted that if it was meant to be, I’d be up early the next day, involved in continuing the momentum of the writing as I’d been doing for the past two years. Some things are slow and steady and some things move a bit faster, but either way, let yourself listen and be pulled gently into the Flow 🙂


Miriam Racquel (Meryl) Feldman is a Somatic Healer and Certified Mind-body and Martha Beck Coach. She is a published writer and speaker based in Chicago. Integrating her knowledge of Kabbalistic Judaism, Somatic Healing, and Coaching, Miriam Racquel empowers women with clarity and peace-of-mind in their relationships, career and health.For more information, visit MiriamRacquel.com or email her at miriam@miriamracquel.com.

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The Happiness Hoax And How It Impacts Your Health


By Endorsed Mind-Body Coach Elaine Jeffy

“The notion that a human being should be constantly happy is a uniquely modern, uniquely American, uniquely destructive idea.”  Dr. Andrew Weil

Flashback to the time my high school aged son asked me: “Mom, where’s your great big smile?”  Daniel had noticed the absence of the ever- present smile that had earned me the nickname “smiley” for much of my life.

So what was going on? Was I grieving a loss, disappointed in my life situation or….. just in a funk?  The answer was NO!  I was finally waking up from the lie I had unknowingly been living for so long – the lie that kept me locked in a frozen state of sham “happiness.”

I was a master at disconnecting from my own truth. For decades my smile had served as a mask protecting me from the disapproval of others.

I learned as a small child that any expression of “negative” emotional energy like anger, fear or sadness was greeted with dismay by my parents. When I repressed these painful emotions, I felt safe and loved; indeed, my mask served as an effective coping mechanism for decades.

My habit of emotional avoidance kept me frozen in a kind of trance that did not permit emotional health or balance. The more I ignored myself and my uncomfortable emotions, the more my physical health suffered.

Merriam Webster defines happiness as a state of well-being and contentment, joy; a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Synonyms for happiness include cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, exuberance, exhilaration, and elation.

Yes, we all want to experience states of well-being and contentment. Yet, the constant pursuit of states of elation can keep us from allowing and honoring our full range of emotions.

“Unless we can process, navigate and be comfortable with the full range of our emotions, we won’t learn to be resilient… the strong cultural focus on happiness … is actually making us less resilient.”  Susan David, PhD

We are not meant to be happy all of the time, and our efforts to be happy can actually create massive amounts of unconscious tension in our bodies that keep our nervous systems activated and interfere with our innate healing mechanisms.

Many people see themselves as flawed and abnormal because they experience periods of deep sadness, grief, despair, and anger. But humans are designed to experience ALL emotions. We cannot experience the gift of true joy if we don’t honor and accept the darker emotions.

“… it may be normal, healthy, and even productive to experience mild to moderate depression from time to time as part of the variable emotional spectrum….”  Dr. Andrew Weil

When we move from avoiding to allowing emotional energy, it flows through us. Our nervous systems regulate, and we begin to actually enjoy greater health AND more joy and contentment!

A true smile reflects the light and love within us.  As my mask slowly melted, my smile became a barometer of my truth. My life expanded, and my health was transformed.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, and sometimes your smile is the source of your joy.” Thich Nhat Hanh

And, as always, remember – YOU hold the key to healing!

Elaine Jeffy

I was trapped in a life of chronic pain and anxiety until I learned that I was not a victim – I was just disconnected from myself and my innate power to heal.

After decades of failed treatments and finally surgery, I discovered the mind-body approach to healing, and it transformed every area of my life!   I was led to become a coach as I yearned to help others unlock their truth and claim their own healing power.  I am a certified Martha Beck Life Coach, Anamsong Endorsed Mind-Body Coach and certified by the Whole Health Medicine Institute in California.

Now I am privileged to help others harness their body’s natural ability to renew, restore and repair itself as they find relief from chronic pain, gain more satisfaction in personal/work/family relationships, and make meaningful changes in their lives!

Website:  www.yourkeytohealing.com

Email:  Elaine@yourkeytohealing.com

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