After I discovered mind-body healing, I was finally able to live without these syndromes. (Happy dance!)

Mind-body-spirit tools gave me my life back last year, too. 

Even though I was facing a huge and difficult health crisis (as described in this blog post here), I consider myself lucky.

I had years of using my own mind-body-spirit tools under my belt, so I was able to face big decisions with clarity.

Why?

Because I had access to my inner wisdom, which meant I knew how to feel my emotions and stay connected to myself rather than suppress and disconnect. Inner wisdom told me when I needed to find new doctors and seek different help.

I knew how to navigate and advocate. I could trust my own wisdom.

Dealing with a really rough case of pelvic organ prolapse was hard and scary. However, precisely because I have my mind-body-spirit tools, I was able to take amazing care of myself.

I found the right doctor. I found the right surgery. I found the right physical therapy.

Inner wisdom was the reason I was able to recover, and still continue to recover. (Seriously. Without it, I would have chosen the wrong doctor and had the wrong surgery. My original doctor was planning it all out!)

I was able to trust my inner wisdom when it guided me to create new visions for my business and reconnect with doing what I loved.

And, guess what? Take note, sufferers of pelvic pain! I flew through major pelvic surgery without a recurrence of interstitial cystitis or vulvodynia. SAY WHAT? Yep! That’s the power of long-term use of mind-body-spirit tools.

One common misconception I’ve seen in mind-body healing is the notion that mind-body-spirit tools are all you need to stay healthy forever. Watch out for that mindset!

We are humans, living a human experience.

The minute you put pressure on yourself to get healthy and stay healthy forever, you’ve added both stress and an impossible goal to your plate.

Healing mind-body syndromes like interstitial cystitis and vulvodynia did not prevent me from experiencing pelvic organ prolapse – an entirely separate issue – which is the result of internal ligament tears and breaks. (Which are caused by multiple factors: genetics, childbirth, trauma, posture habits, incorrect pelvic care during hard workouts (over time), and unhelpful breathing habits.)

I took really good care of my pelvis from age 25 on, using a combo of mind-body-spirit tools and pelvic physical therapy. However, there was still a lot I didn’t know. I still exercised in ways that did pelvic damage. I still gave birth in a hospital where they did not let me use a birthing position that was safe for my pelvis. (There wasn’t much choice where I lived at the time.)

We are just human beings, living and learning every day. That’s why I love the mind-body-spirit tools. They help you navigate any challenge, and they help you release the pain and stress of mind-body syndromes like interstitial cystitis and vulvodynia, which come largely from internal self-pressures and emotional suppression. I am so grateful I’ve been able to handle this new pelvic situation with these tools to support me and to prevent recurring pain.

I am passionate about teaching people how to use mind-body-spirit tools to create a solid connection to inner wisdom and well-being.

If you want to learn ALL my mind-body-spirit tools, you are in luck! Join the Mind-Body Magic Coach Training.

In the training, you’ll learn the tools for yourself and for your clients, should you choose to become a coach. (You can certainly take the training just for you!)

Here’s to mind-body-spirit tools and the gifts they bring!

P.S. I’m focused on running the training and other programs for mind-body-spirit tools and Slacker Magic (which was a big part of my journey last year!), but you can always connect with one of my coaches if you need help with pelvic pain or pelvic syndromes. See the full list here!

Two weeks later, we’d drawn the battle lines.

We bit each other’s heads off as we negotiated who would get five free seconds to brush teeth or poop sans child. Or, who would get to take a turn to sleep, since our child DID NOT SLEEP, ever, unless someone was holding her.

(To be fair, I may have been the one doing most of the biting off of heads. Er, hormones and such.)

Just like that, our fourteen-year marriage began to unravel.

My inner rage mounted daily. My husband was a tiny bit put off by my postpartum angries, (read, I was a scary, scary person) and our communication and affection dropped to an all-time low.

I felt bad that I was so mad at him. I could see, through the sleep-deprived, new-mother haze, that I was probably being unfair. Yet, I couldn’t seem to help the extreme desire to commit homicide. It was a rage that pushed through me and exploded out of all my seams; impossible to hide.

I’ve always said that mind-body tools heal everything.

So, I got out my own mind-body tools and went to work. As I connected to the anger and felt underneath it for the truth, insight arose. Upon giving birth to a newborn, who needed me pretty much every second of every day, it was much harder to get my needs met than before, when I was childless.

Simple daily things like drinking water, preparing food, eating food, showering, sleeping, and using the bathroom all required so much effort. I couldn’t just zip around and do what I needed for myself, because often I had a small, adorable baby nursing away, merrily taking her sweet time to fill her baby belly.

I actually loved nursing her, but I also felt immensely trapped. I had to ask for help, tell my husband what I needed, and give him clear and unapologetic information. I found this incredibly hard.

At first, I felt the urge to apologize every time I needed food while nursing or a restroom break while rocking. After overcoming that, I still felt weird and angry every time I had to ask for help. Why couldn’t he just see that I was 1) exhausted 2) had to pee or 3) desperate for sleep? Why wasn’t he noticing my needs and reaching out to help?

Giving birth and the ensuing challenges forced me to see that, for fourteen years, I’d been expecting my spouse to read my mind.

This terrible communication habit simply had to stop. And for it to stop, I had to acknowledge, own, and embrace my needs, and the fact that sometimes I need help. I had to value myself enough to speak up for me.

Before my kid was born, I cheated. I just took care of myself, and if I really needed help, I found vague, roundabout, or confusing ways to communicate that to my spouse. With a baby in our lives, there was no way to cheat anymore. I had to learn to be direct. My relationship was broken, and my body was in pain, too. It was expressing this lack of self-care loud and clear.

It was astonishing to discover this huge gap in self-love.

I couldn’t believe it was so hard to value myself and ask for help. The humbling truth was that I really needed to change how I treated myself. I needed to be kind to me, and to treat myself like I treated my daughter. I needed to give myself the sense of worth and value I wanted to instill in her.

As I became kinder to myself, I became kinder to my spouse. My heart opened, and compassion arose. I saw that speaking my needs clearly and directly was the kindest way to communicate with him. And, indeed, it was. He was immensely relieved to be done with mind-reading, and our relationship began to heal. My body healed, too.

That postpartum year was the hardest year I’ve ever experienced. I look back with immense gratitude that I had my mind-body tools. They were the only reason I was able to create a whole new life; a stronger, love-filled life that supports me and my little family. They helped me see myself with kind awareness, instead of staying stuck in a self-judgment pattern. With that kind awareness, I was able to create change, shift patterns, speak up, take care of me, and heal myself yet again, mind, body, and soul.

If you’re struggling at all with a relationship, do this simple process:

1. Acknowledge what you’re feeling. Don’t judge yourself for feeling angry, hurt, sad, or whatever you feel. Let yourself feel it. Pay attention to the sensations of the emotion in your body.
2. Take time to journal about your needs. Write anything you want, and don’t censor. What do you need most? What would help you feel freer, more connected with the other person, or simply better?
3. Find an action step that allows you to meet your own need, first. (In my example, I needed help, but I had to ask directly; that was my action step.) Put your power back in your own hands.
4. Communicate to the other person around any changes in your behavior, if needed. (You might find you need to apologize, or speak up around something, or request a change in a situation.)

This is the beauty of mind-body work: It’s able to cut to the core of the pain, no matter what kind of pain it is, and gently open the heart to new wisdom, new life, and new love.

Abigail

P.S. Want to learn the art of mind-body healing for your life? (And maybe even to help others?) Take the 2016 Mind-Body Coach Training! Click here for details. You can still snag a $500 discount!

And, I’m not the only one who’s experienced relationship healing and ease from the mind-body tools. Christina Muller, a 2015 mind-body coach trainee, shares this:

I took Abigail’s Mind-Body Coach Training, and now, when I don’t feel well or need a rest, I’m able to notice that and ask my husband for help. Before I would have waited for him to offer, and been annoyed when he didn’t. We’re both much happier this way – I get the help I need, and he doesn’t have to be a mind-reader!