I have many projects going, and I’ve had zero desire or energy to work on any of them. So, I did what comes naturally; freak out and put pressure on myself to work on them.

Because that always works.

Then, I remembered something important.This pattern of self-pressure is what got me into a chronic pain mess! Vulvodynia, interstitial cystitis, pelvic floor dysfunction, and such all came about because I held emotions inside, didn’t listen to myself, and shoved my way through life. When I realized those syndromes were all just forms of TMS (aka Mind Body Syndrome), I was able to unwind the pain patterns and the brain patterns.

Of course, old habits die hard.

Last week, I had to admit to myself that I was in a full-on Sloth Mode.  Once I admitted that, I remembered this is just a cycle. For me, creative work is always like this. There’s an action phase and a resting phase, over and over again. The hard part is that the resting phase may come before the project is completed. Deadlines and dreams be damned, my body simply stops going with the flow and demands rest and vegetative mental states. Lack of energy is a sign I need rest, self-care, self-acceptance, and time to let the creative projects gestate.

Once I finally accepted Sloth Mode, set aside my visions of completed projects, and rolled with it, I became much like a turtle on downers and asleep; possibly hibernating. (Here’s where the metaphor stops working.)

I always assume that Sloth Mode will never end, and I’ll spend the rest of my life watching Netflix, reading trashy novels, and staring at the wall in between naps. This is despite much evidence to the contrary.

In fact, what happened was the exact opposite. Sloth Mode passed fairly quickly, and I woke up last Thursday with enough energy to do a HIIT workout, tackle several writing projects, spend hours with my web developer making huge progress on a new website, and get many small annoying tasks done. (Lest you think I’m superwoman, I totally ordered pizza for dinner instead of cooking.)

That’s right; Sloth Mode left and Go Mode returned.

If you’re like me, you kind of prefer Go Mode. Except, that’s not even really true, because Sloth Mode can be really, really fun, when you’re not guilting yourself for having it. Go Mode is more culturally accepted, so it seems cooler. And it can be fun. But, I have to say, Sloth Mode is where it’s at. Sloth Mode is what makes Go Mode possible.

In the end, I realized it’s either Sloth or Go. That’s just me. For years, my husband has remarked on this, suggesting I try this weird thing he calls balance. (Sometimes he’s even mentioned moderation. No idea what that is.) Unfortunately (or fortunately) I’ve just gotta roll with my own style here; two modes, no in-between, a creative cycle, and gulping life instead of sipping it.

Your modes may be entirely different.

I encourage you to observe yourself to find out how you roll.

Then, instead of pressuring yourself to do it differently (or be in Go Mode all the time), accept your truth. Learn to love how you roll, and take off the self-pressure. This is a huge part of healing from TMS, pelvic pain, depression, anxiety, and stress in general. The less you resist who you are, how you work, and what you need, the better you’ll feel. Take your Sloth Modes (whatever they look like) seriously. That’s how you take great care of yourself. Embrace your inner sloth, love your wild inner child, and take naps. Naps are very, very good.

The idea that this was causing my body to react with tension and pain really blew my mind. And, it made so much sense. It was, truly, the only logical explanation for the sudden, out-of-nowhere chronic pelvic pain syndromes I’d developed; vulvodynia and interstitial cystitis. Every other explanation lacked the simplicity and clarity of that one, and so I decided to use a mind-body healing approach to my syndromes.

In doing so, not only did I eliminate the pain syndromes, but I changed every single aspect of my life for the better. Why? Because I changed the driving force behind all of my actions and decisions.

I used to act from fear. Fear of not being perfect or good enough. Fear of not succeeding. Fear of people not liking me. Fear of something failing or falling apart. Fear of messing up. Fear of losing something or someone.

When you look at it like that, it’s quite a lot of fear. Fear, unfelt and un-faced, remains within the body. This causes tension and stress…and pain.

To heal my body and mind, I had to find the antidote to a fear-based life.

What’s the antidote?

A love-based life.

I had to learn how to make all choices, actions, and decisions based on love.

In every moment, there’s a fear-based focus and a love-based focus. The fear-based focus says, “I have to do/should do x,y, or z because something bad might happen.” The love-based focus says, “I am choosing this because it feels right, and it feels like love.”

A love-based life means asking myself if what I’m thinking or doing is because I love me and want to care for me, or because I’m afraid of something.

I have to stop and pay attention. Am I tense? Holding my breath? If so, I’m trying not to feel fear. It’s time to connect to myself, be aware of the fear, and find my way back to love.

If I love me, I don’t have to be perfect, good-enough, or responsible for the whole world. I can just be.

If I love me, I can treat myself with kindness instead of criticism.

If I love me, I can choose actions because they feel joyful, loving, and fun.

Now, I listen deeply to the truth in my heart. From there, I choose to eat foods I love. I choose to enjoy activities I love. I choose to work in a career I love, in ways that I love.

Before anything can become a part of my life, it has to pass the love test. If it doesn’t feel absolutely right and loving for myself, then it doesn’t pass.

This love-based life has given me my health back. It’s given me my life back – only it’s a much better life! It’s given me the work I love, the child I love, and so much more.

Choosing to love me and to live a love-based life healed my body and united me with my spirit.

Exhausted.

Like part of your body is permanently molded into the bed.

When you start paying attention to your body and actually listening to its needs, one of the first things that happens is usually exhaustion. It’s like you pick up the rug and realize you’ve been sweeping stuff under it for years. Now, here you are, faced with reality: You. Are. Tired.

So very tired.

This is normal! In our culture, we often push ourselves crazy-hard. We ignore our bodies and blow past signals for rest and recuperation. We focus on doing, doing, doing. Our to-do lists become more important than our physical bodies.

I frequently fall into this habit, even after years of deep practice around listening to my body and respecting its messages.

Self-kindness is called for when you confront your tendencies to shove aside your body’s guidance and end up sick or in pain.

You didn’t do this on purpose.

You’re not bad or wrong for ignoring your body, or for being tired.

This is all just information, and you can simply be curious. Why did I think it was more important to clean my house, work late, and then paint the ceiling than to take a few moments to settle in for a little rest?

You’ll probably find that your mind thinks you should work 24/7 to be a worthwhile person, you’re a little afraid of the emotions or insights that might pop up if you stop, and nobody ever says, “Wow! Amazing job resting today!”

All of these reasons make it more challenging to get off the treadmill and stop moving.

When you finally do, you’ll probably have some accumulated exhaustion in your body. That’s ok. No judgment necessary. Right now, just rest.

Then rest some more.

Then rest some more.

It’s your path to health. And joy. And creativity.

You are doing SUCH A GREAT JOB RESTING! You are AMAZING when you rest so much!

(Print those last two sentences out and post them somewhere handy.)

Keep up the good resting.

Whether you’re new to mind-body healing or a veteran of many years, there’s only way to stay sane: DON’T GOOGLE IT.

If you’re using a mind-body healing approach and you’ve realized you have TMS (also called Mind Body Syndrome), then Googling your symptoms is probably the worst thing you can do.  I can’t think of a faster way to create doubt and fear in your mind that what you’re dealing with isn’t just TMS, but something deadly and permanent.

If you want mind-body healing to work, you have to decide to go all in and let go of the conventional thoughts and ideas around your symptoms. You have to drop the medical lingo for your syndrome (I remember feeling so free when I stopped saying I had vulvodynia and switched to calling it TMS. It was pivotal in my healing process!). You have to leave the conditioned way of viewing the mind and body and open yourself to something much more powerful – seeing the mind and body as a team.

Stop researching your symptoms and start spending the time on yourself, instead. Use that time to feel emotions, journal about stresses in your life, and relax the body. You’ll find yourself improving much more quickly without research blocking your progress.

If you’re like most people I work with, you’ve already seen a plethora of doctors, researched deep into the night many times, and right now you’re just facing a momentary fear that’s driving you to Google. Recognize the fear for what it is; the siren song of TMS. It’s the way the syndrome works. Your own mind keeps you distracted with fear around symptoms when the real work (feeling emotions, seeing truths with yourself) awaits.

There’s nothing new for you to learn on Google about your symptoms.

There is, however, much more for you to learn about yourself, within you.

It’s time to research your innermost emotions, how you’re treating yourself, and where you might need to make changes in your external life. That is what will heal TMS and create the well-being you want.

One morning, I woke up, stepped out of bed, and keeled over from agonizing pain. I was no stranger to pain, as I’d had searing pelvic pain from Interstitial Cystitis for years. This, however, was a different searing pelvic pain. I picked up the phone and called 911.

Pain is a powerful messenger. How did I know to call 911 instead of just write it off as Interstitial Cystitis? I have no idea. It just told me what to do, and I acted on instinct.

I’ve come to see that avoiding pain causes immense suffering. During my long haul with chronic pelvic pain (interstitial cystitis, vulvodynia, and later coccydynia), I was forced to awaken to a new relationship with pain. I fought the pain for a long time before I found the work of Dr. John Sarno and read his groundbreaking book, The Mindbody Prescription. After reading that book, I started learning everything I could get my hands on about mind-body healing and the mind-body connection.

I discovered that my resistance to pain was making my experience with pain about a thousand times worse. I found that my mind was creating story after story about the pain:

I’m a worthless person because I can’t do anything with my life right now.

I’m useless.

This will last forever.

I can’t go on.

I can’t do this.

This is the worst pain.

The pain is getting worse, not better.

And so on.

I discovered that my mind was whirling in a tornado of thoughts because it was trying to avoid the Real Stuff – aka, emotions. I started applying Sarno’s technique of focusing on my emotions anytime the pain or pain obsession surfaced.

This brought about a new revelation: I was also resisting feeling emotional pain.

With that revelation, everything cracked open.

I saw that I was fighting myself, day in and day out, not allowing myself to feel whatever emotion was present.

I learned to let the emotions exist. I learned to approach discomfort within myself – emotional or physical – with a new perspective.

Discomfort is not a bad thing. Discomfort is easily one-half or more of our human experience. If I try to push it away, or if I am always running toward comfort, I am closing my mind to the human experience.

Discomfort is guidance.

If you put your hand on a hot stove, you feel extreme discomfort. Quickly, you take it off. That’s a pretty easy example to see. Other discomforts can be subtler and quieter, but they are still guiding you. They are guiding you to see what your mind is telling you. They are guiding you to follow what is right for you. They are guiding you to return to your inner world and take stock.

Now, I have a new approach. I listen to discomfort. I stay with it until it guides me, because I know it’s here to help me, even if it’s painful.

This may sound a little hard.

It is.

I like to call this mind-body healing path the Path of the Mind-Body Warrior. I mean, why not give ourselves a little credit, right? If you’ve decided to apply mind-body healing to your life, it means you are willing to open to discomfort. Every day, there will be discomfort, most likely. That’s how life works. Every day, we get to train as warriors.

For those of us who’ve suffered physical pain, the motivation is strong to stay on this warrior path and allow discomfort. We know that when we allow pain and discomfort of all kinds (physical, emotional, anxiety, stress, etc.), we stop resisting what is. When we stop resisting what is, a new energy moves into our lives.

I think of it as flow. The flow comes in and it starts to carry us, like we’re floating on a river, ensconced in a puffy raft. Life feels simpler. Less difficult.

It can even be a little fun to do this Mind-Body Warrior training. The reward is enormous, and much bigger than pain relief. The reward is awakening to ourselves, our lives, our spirits, and our broad, vast, ability to contain and love this human experience.

That morning, when I called 911, I was just learning to listen to pain instead of fight it. I was certainly resisting it, but I knew it was telling me to seek help. The doctors quickly booked me for an emergency kidney stone removal, and I was saved from a serious kidney infection and sepsis.

Pain wakes us up and asks us to listen. We can do it. We are warriors.

I’ve often been accused of “having it all together.”
Ha ha!

That is called emotional suppression, people.

I learned at a young age – like many, many other women – how to hold myself together while under duress or stress. Hold it in, keep it together, suck it up, don’t be a drama queen, etc. etc. I can fake poise like nobody’s business.

Eventually, though, I learned that has consequences. (Like Mind Body Syndrome/TMS, other health issues, and spontaneously combusting after holding things in for too long.)

What we actually need is to allow ourselves to have the messiness – to kindly, gently, let that part of ourselves exist.

It’s not fair to think we should have it all together, all the time. We may think, erroneously, that other people do. They don’t.

That is why I’ve decided to address the mess. I don’t have it all together. What I have is a messy, human experience that I am imperfectly embracing.

There’s a primal beauty in the messiness of being a woman – and of being a human. When we embrace that, we embrace life in a new, open, and inspiring way.

We don’t have to be outwardly dramatic to embrace the mess. In fact, that can be a big hindrance. What we have to do – the most challenging job of all – is be present with ourselves in, during, around, and after the mess. We have to be with ourselves like a mother with a crying baby, holding ourselves and simply being.

A lot of what we do is done to avoid the mess.

Eating. Shopping. Obsessing about health or pain syndromes. Obsessing about our bodies. Escaping into entertainment. Even chasing spiritual experiences.

I know all about this, because I’m a master avoider. I can run away from myself with the best of them.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to write a series on living with the mess; the primal, beautiful, raw, challenging mess that is being human.

Being awake in our own lives is not about the sunny days.

It’s not about the joy that slips in easily in mess-free moments. It’s about holding the messiness in one hand and the easy joy in the other hand, simultaneously.

I went for a spring walk yesterday, not to enjoy the bliss of nature, but to walk with a messiness – a discomfort – that had arisen inside me. I wanted to be present with myself, and I needed nature to help me. As I walked, the sun shone, but thunder warned of a coming storm.

The rain began to sprinkle the sidewalk, falling as though directly from the sunlight itself. It seemed like a clear message from the greater wisdom.

Rain and sun. Light and dark. Storm and calm. It’s only when I try to make those good or bad, wanted or not wanted, that I suffer.

Having it all together is not the goal.

The goal is this: Having all of it, together.

Abigail

P.S. Want help embracing the mess? Want to relax in a welcoming, be-human-here environment? Join the Kindness Community!

The other day, I met a woman who suffered, like me, from vulvodynia. She had read my blog and ended up working with one of my Endorsed Mind-Body Coaches. She was immensely grateful for the mind-body healing tools, because she’s now pain-free and living a normal life again.

As we talked, she expressed all the feelings she’d felt along the way. She shared the thoughts she’d had about herself and her body, and tears came to both our eyes. I could remember clearly the same exact feelings and thoughts during my years of struggle with a multitude of pelvic diagnoses.

I remember feeling alone, embarrassed, ashamed, and like a complete outsider. None of my friends understood what it was like to deal with such a private, all-encompassing pain. There was no one to talk to, and no one to offer hope. Vulvodynia wasn’t something I’d ever heard of, until I was diagnosed with it, and the same went for interstitial cystitis, vulvar vestibulitis, pelvic floor dysfunction, and vulvar dysesthesia.

I remember spiraling down into shame, because somehow I thought having something “wrong” with me in those very personal, private places was shameful. I believed something was really wrong with me as a person, at my core. I felt lost, alone, and, of course, terrified. I felt completely isolated.

I wanted to know that I wasn’t alone, there were others who experienced what I was experiencing, and I was not a lost cause. I was terribly confused, because I couldn’t understand why there was no help; no clear path to follow to wellness.

It’s a strange thing, having pain and other symptoms that are too private to share. I couldn’t talk much with anyone, because one doesn’t go about sharing about one’s nether regions. It wasn’t like back pain, where it’s socially acceptable to say something like, “I need to stand up for a minute, I have some back pain.”

Instead, it felt cloaked, hidden, and dark. My mind could hardly stand this aspect of the pain. It wanted freedom to express and share. It wanted it to be ok to talk about vaginal pain, out loud. It wanted a space in which to admit what was really going on with me, and to find compassionate listeners who knew the hell I was walking through.

We all walk our own paths through hell at different times and in different ways. This is the compelling aspect of a support group, because hell can be isolating.

I know the hell of having various pelvic symptoms that make it painful to do the simplest of things – like wear underwear. I know the hell of endless appointments involving people who can’t really solve the pain, and who don’t really want to talk about the emotional side of the syndrome/s. I know the hell of wanting a way out of the painful, symptomatic body, and the darkness of the mental pain that accompanies this experience.

Sometimes I feel like there is a very small club of people who have both A) been through pelvic pain and B) who have embarked on the mind-body healing journey like myself. Not only did I feel alone when I was facing vulvodynia, but I felt alone when I embarked on a completely radical healing path; treating it as a Mind Body Syndrome (TMS).

A lot of people wander around in the pelvic pain support groups, talking about various medical treatments and the hopelessness. They haven’t yet meandered into this camp, over here, where we have stopped talking about all those things and focus only on how to connect to our inner emotional world, relax our bodies, take care of ourselves, practice self-kindness, and turn the journey into one of self-discovery.

Many people simply haven’t heard that healing pelvic pain this way is possible. Others are afraid it won’t work. Others find it downright ridiculous.

My hope is to create change. I want to create greater awareness around mind-body healing, so that those people who haven’t heard of it yet, but might need it, are able to find the path. I want people to know that mind-body healing works. I want to create more and more community around this so that people who are ready to take a mind-body approach don’t have to do it alone. I want to create more and more hope, and a place where people can talk about these private and lonely struggles in order to mine the gold and return to health.

If you’re feeling alone and scared, like I used to feel, let me just say this:

You can do it. You can heal. You have what it takes. You are not alone, not by a long shot. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. Pelvic pain is just like any other mind-body pain, and we can talk about it, here on my Facebook page, here on the blog, and in the Kindness Community. Feel free to share. You are strong, even when you feel you’ve been brought to your knees.

I remember what it feels like, and I hold a vision for anyone who is struggling. I see you as healthy, because you are. I see you as whole, because you are. I see you as growing to know yourself in ways that will bring you much more joy and happiness than you even knew was possible, even if you’re really pissed off right now about the pain. I know you’ll face challenges on your healing journey. It will feel hard and liberating in turn. It will be messy. It will also be transformational and the ultimate healing experience – mind, body, and soul

You can do it.
You’re not alone.

Which makes me think back to the very beginning…

In my early twenties, I spent most of my time lying on the couch, unable to wear underwear, jeans, or even use the restroom without pain. I felt hopeless. I was struggling with vulvodynia, interstitial cystitis, pelvic floor dysfunction, constant anxiety, and terrible self-esteem. I was overweight. I was in a very, very, low place.

Finding the courage to embark on a quest to heal was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had to dig myself out of that pit and create a new life for myself. There was only the tiniest seed of hope in the huge dirt-pile of despair.

What would I have loved to have had during that time?

A mind-body coach.

Someone who understood how to help me use my own mind-body system to create well-being.

Someone who had walked a similar path and understood.

Someone who had compassion and empathy for me and also believed in me.

I was my own coach throughout my healing process. The arduous journey I was on made me want to help others. I wanted to be the someone for them that I’d wanted for me.

I felt the pull to work with others even before I was completely pain-free, before I had newfound confidence, and before I lost the weight.

What did I do? I became a coach. There were other people out there, suffering from TMS or Mind-Body Syndrome. I knew them. I understood them. I felt compassion. We were fellow travelers. And in becoming a coach, I found confidence, strength, and knowledge so I could truly help those people.

After I finished my training, I took my specific expertise around mind-body healing and created my own coaching method. It’s designed to specifically help people with pain relief, anxiety/stress relief, creativity, intuitive awakening, and spiritual growth.

Which brings me to YOU.

Even if you think you haven’t walked far enough on your healing path to become a coach, it’s time. If you have read to this point in this post, you are feeling the same pull that I did. My Mind-Body Coach Training is designed to take you through the healing tools first, before you head out and coach. You’ll have the support, the learning, and the path to develop your skills, and you do not have to be “done,” “perfect,” or “completely healed” to start the training.

We’ll focus on you first and foremost throughout the training, because that’s what will make you a great coach. You’ll be ready. You’ll have such solid mentoring and training that you’ll know you can do it (even if you’re a bit nervous – which is, by the way, NORMAL!).

Whomever you are meant to help, whomever you are meant to guide into the world of mind-body healing – they are waiting. This mind-body thing has been a quiet revolution, and we are on the leading edge in my Mind-Body Coach Community. We never stop learning and growing, and you won’t, either. Which means your clients will be so glad they found YOU.

I can’t possibly coach all the people who want help via the mind-body tools you’ll learn in the 2015 Mind-Body Coach Training They need you. You are ready.

DO it.

Here’s a note from Rebecca, who took the training in 2014:

“Attending Abigail’s Mind Body Coach training became a dream of mine when I discovered her in 2012.  Even though my inner wisdom was speaking to me then, I just didn’t know how to really tap in and listen.  That being said, this training has taught me how to ‘tune into my body’ to hear and translate the sensations that speak my mind.  Once integrated, this piece alone allowed me to turn toward my emotions, without resistance, and notice what my mind was doing with clarity not scarcity.  AHHHH so freeing.  Also, I noticed my inner knowing/wisdom organically flowed from this balance—without efforting.  Imagine that!  I can’t remember a time where I have felt clearer, more open and inspired in my life.  The tools taught are ones that will kindly support my clients and me for a lifetime.  Truly.  The unexpected plus of this training…. it has refined me as life coach – I’m coaching with a new passion, with empathy and compassion, along with trusting my intuition about how best to serve the client.  But it DID all start with me doing my own work first!”

Rebecca Hampton
Beckoning Balance Coaching

– Abigail

P.S. When I decided to become a coach, I was drawn to Martha Beck and her work. She’s become a mentor, friend, and colleague, and I’d love for you to get to experience her work as she teams up with Deepak Chopra in this upcoming event!

When I got pregnant, I was a little nervous about a lot of things. You know, impending motherhood, the major life transition ahead, giving birth, etc.

I was really nervous, however, about pelvic pain. I tried to pretend I wasn’t, because, well, denial comes naturally. However, I couldn’t ignore the small voice in my head that reminded me of the years of pelvic pain I’d endured in my early twenties. Even though I hadn’t had pain in ten years, the past haunted my mind.

Would I create a vulvodynia recurrence by giving birth?

Would interstitial cystitis flare up when I had my baby?

Would pelvic floor dysfunction return?

These thoughts crept in, and I tried to just shake them off. I knew that vulvodynia and interstitial cystitis were simply mind-body syndromes, or TMS, and that I had a deep understanding around  those syndromes. My pelvic pain in my twenties had nothing to do with physical causes and everything to do with how I dealt with my inner emotional world. It would be ok, because giving birth is a totally normal activity.

I prepared for the birth process in great depth. Partially motivated by the fear I was trying to shove under the carpet, I researched everything I could find about mind-body techniques for birthing. I got really into it. I spent months preparing myself, because I didn’t want to use drugs during the birthing process unless necessary. This was not a decision based on anything other than my own connection to my body, spirit, and heart.

I did an outstanding job preparing for natural childbirth. I pulled out all the stops. I was committed. I had a clear intention of what I wanted and I planned to create it. I believed deeply in caring for myself in this way and creating the birth experience I wanted for myself and my baby.

In the meantime, I forgot one tiny thing. I forgot to feel and allow my fear. I forgot to acknowledge that I had been through years of pain and now I was going to squeeze a large baby through that very place where I’d felt so much pain. OF COURSE it was scary! No matter how many pain-free years I’d lived, it was still a scary thought. (I’m pretty sure even women who have not had pelvic pain find giving birth a tad frightening.)

And, just like that, I fell into my old habits of emotional suppression. I denied that fear, and I denied a slew of other emotions that were swirling around inside me as I prepared (ha ha!) for motherhood.

Mind-Body Syndrome/TMS sufferers have to be on the alert for this pattern, because it is so unconscious that it can sneak-attack at any time. This is why mind-body healing is a lifestyle. It’s a bit like quitting drinking. Sometimes, one drink can pull you back into the vortex. One large act of emotional suppression can suck you back into the unconscious place of Mind-Body Syndrome. I have a lot of tools I use to stay present and aware of my emotions, because I know this tendency exists within me.

Even so, I simply failed to realize I was back in old patterns. So, what happened? The inevitable. I did, indeed, suffer a mind-body syndrome after giving birth. Here’s the fascinating part: the syndrome is smart! It did not recreate pain in the vulvar area or bladder, because I would have been totally onto that immediately. Instead, it created a NEW pain, in the tailbone area that was just convincing enough to keep me confused for a few months. Did I hurt something in childbirth? During pregnancy? What was wrong with my body?

To make matters more confusing, I did actually have a separate injury, (an anal fissure) in the same region, and it was a bad enough injury to require surgery. This is how tricky and impressive mind-body syndrome can be – it shows up in convincing spots!

I tell you this to illustrate the awareness required to create well-being when you suffer from mind-body syndrome tendencies. Here I was, ten years of experience under my belt, and still I didn’t see it happen as I fell into my old patterns.

I’m not judging myself here, mind you. I’m simply showing you how it all works. I’m actually, strangely, at peace with the tailbone TMS, or the Year of the Ass, as I call it. I learned so much from it that I emerged a much better coach, a much more effective support for others with TMS tendencies, and a new humility that can only be good. I can see that it was necessary for me to receive the wake-up call I got in my postpartum experience.

On top of that, I learned some pretty amazing things about kindness, love, and care for my pelvic region. I now honor, respect, and admire everything it’s done for me, the pain it’s been through, and the wisdom it has shared with me. Instead of avoiding thinking about it and wanting to put the past behind me, I now embrace my pelvis and listen closely to any whispers of insight it’s sharing with me on a daily basis. Now, I sit here pain-free yet again, but with a much deeper awareness of myself, my body, and the work I do with others.

You know what’s funny?

The natural birth process actually went perfectly. I gave birth to my daughter, with no drugs, in the calm, kind environment I imagined, and with the presence of mind I’d wanted to bring to the experience. The birth itself was a beautiful, amazing experience. In the end, it was a huge success, even though I did have a Mind-Body Syndrome experience in the months afterward. It wasn’t about being free of pain. It was about embracing the pain and learning from it. Which I can say I did, whole-heartedly, in every possible way. In mind-body healing, trying to be pain-free is never the goal. The goal is simply to feel emotions instead of suppress them. When you feel emotions, the pain is free to leave.

Speaking of pelvic care, if you want to lose the pelvic pain and learn the tools and knowledge I’ve discovered over the last twelve years for healing pelvic TMS/Mind-Body Syndrome, come on over to the Kindness Community!

Next week’s class is called Spiritual and Practical Pelvic Care, and I’m sharing everything I know and learned on this wild mind-body ride – including all the new insights giving birth and healing from a postpartum injury PLUS mind-body syndrome taught me. Join now!

– Abigail

P.S. Ready to Say Goodbye to Pelvic Pain? Join one of my Endorsed Mind-Body Coaches, Lorraine Faehndrich for this fabulous complimentary class!  Lorraine has not only trained with me but has also applied the mind-body healing tools to her own mind and body with great success. She’s helping out in the Kindness Community Forums, answering questions and supporting members along with me!

This week, I visited a new doctor. It was just a routine appointment for everyday health upkeep, and yet, I found myself feeling nervous as I entered the exam room.  A simple appointment like this might seem sort of mundane, but for someone like myself, who used to suffer from chronic pain, it’s no small experience. I have a slight panic response to pretty much anything medical. I’m used to being told there’s no help, no hope, or…I’m crazy.

In the past, I sought a lot of medical care for vulvodynia and interstitial cystitis, before I realized they could be treated as TMS, or mind-body syndromes. I had a few wonderful experiences with very helpful physicians, but I also had some doozies. The doozies left me with a little fear, but also a lot of motivation. Motivation to create a different experience for myself and others who have felt like oddballs, weirdos, strange hypochondriacs, or have blamed ourselves for having chronic pain. Check out the video below for a little story about this…

As you can see, I decided to create The Kindness Community to help you with your healing journey and to create compassion, kindness, and connection – the most powerful healing tools I know.

If you want to learn more about The Kindness Community or register, click here!