I yearned for freedom from pain. I’d been struggling with chronic pelvic pain for over 20 years when I found Abigail in 2008. A woman I met at a pelvic pain treatment clinic emailed. She asked if that was me who commented on Abigail’s blog, The Vagina Dialogues. Abigail, who had healed herself from IC and vulvodynia, intrigued me. How did she do it? And what was life coaching?

In 1980, when I first had symptoms of chronic pelvic pain, it was the dark days of pelvic pain treatment. I just transferred to a university away from home for the first time. Vaginal soreness and chronic yeast infections started with a sexual relationship with a new man before I broke up with my long-time boyfriend. A few years later abdominal pain and irritable bladder symptoms joined in. Other symptoms included painful periods, anxiety, constipation, intestinal gas, food sensitivities, and pregnancy complications.

Healing Breakthroughs

In 2009 Abigail gave a free first session for The Healthy Mind Toolbox telecourse. I ended up taking the full course (now renamed Mind-Body Toolbox for Pain Relief). I devoured the class. It made so much sense to me! I listened to the class recordings over and over and practiced the tools diligently. My sense of emotional relief and curiosity were incentives to learn more. Abigail inspired me to take a deep dive into mind-body practice. If she could find relief, then so could I.

Getting the right kind of physical therapy for pelvic pain in 2008 started me on my healing breakthrough. Taking Abigail’s telecourse and then getting coached by her regularly for the next year gave me my love of life back. My progress for freedom from pain was slow-going but consistent over time. I stayed inspired and committed to mind-body practice for pain relief. It’s made all the difference.

Persistence

Persistence with mind-body connection practice was my key for healing success. I became a devoted mind-body nerd by following in Abigail footsteps. In 2010 I trained as a Martha Beck Life Coach and the next year I trained with Abigail in Mind-Body Coach Training. Now I know and understand my mind-body-emotion-spirit connection so well. I have so many tools to keep coming back to wellness and comfort when I periodically experience discomfort, get stuck, or triggered.

Freedom

Mind-body connection becomes a spiritual journey. Once you become conscious to mind-body connection you can’t get away with being unconscious again. There will be unconscious triggers that take you back to old way of beings, often with physical or emotional pain patterns. These are just signs that something needs attention. Doing mind-body-emotion-spirit inquiry on a regular basis will help you keep coming back to center and well-being. When in doubt, keep going. Follow the sense of emotional or spiritual relief or the sense of curiosity to know more. Physical and emotional relief, and freedom from pain will soon follow.

P.S. Is it your turn to take Mind-Body Coach Training and learn all the mind-body tools for pain and stress relief? (You don’t have to become a coach; the training is also available for personal use only!) We’re enrolling for the Mind-Body Coach Training 2017 right now, and the first 10 applicants get a $500 discount! (Hurry – there’s only a few discount spots left!) To learn more and apply, click here!

Endorsed Coach – Gail Kenny

When I found Abigail I had been struggling with chronic pelvic pain (including pain in my lower abdomen, IC symptoms, yeast infections and myofascial pain) for over 20 years. Mind-body coaching was the last thing I needed to truly get my life back. I know first-hand the challenges of healing chronic pelvic pain and I’m well prepared to help you with your healing. I’m also a certified Martha Beck life coach and trained psychic.

I work with people in physical pain who have already tried all the normal solutions. I help them heal old dysfunctional habits of thinking and feeling. I teach them to relate to their body, emotions, mind, and soul in new ways, creating relief from underlying tension, healing pain from the inside out and getting back to living the life they want. Start with your free pain relief practice here.

I can handle this.

I can figure this out.

I shouldn’t ask for help, because…(list a zillion reasons).

I’m struggling, but I should be able to sort this out myself.

I’ll just be a burden if I ask for help.

If I admit how I’m really feeling, people will…(fill in the blank with thousands of scary options).

Ever think any of the thoughts on that list? I may have had a few of them, myself. In fact, these are some of the core beliefs I uncovered during the Ass Year.

What is the Ass Year? The year after I gave birth, in which I experienced rectal surgery (yes, it’s as fun as it sounds) and TMS (or Mind-Body Syndrome) around my tailbone, making sitting down extremely painful. (The Ass Year was augmented by postpartum thyroiditis, postpartum depression, and probably other things I’ve completely blocked from memory. It was an enormously challenging year.)

During the Ass Year, I really hated the Ass Year. Now that it is over, I can see, in retrospect, many of the important things it taught me that I really, really needed to learn. Still, it’s pretty annoying that it took an Ass Year for me to learn them. I’m edging my way toward grumpy appreciation of the whole experience. I may or may not make it.

Probably the biggest lessons from that experience were:

1) Learning to ask for help, support, and kindness from others.

2) Learning to treat myself with kindness – which is a deep and complicated process, not a quick hop into a bubble bath with a glass of wine.

During the Ass Year, I learned that taking responsibility for myself and asking for support are not mutually exclusive. I know. Mind-blower! For me, that changed everything. I have a highly active responsibility-for-everything gene, and I discovered that gets in the way of…well, everything. Support. Health. Love. Connection. Peace.

The best part of the Ass Year was the support that I did receive, and the amazing connection, love, and growth that resulted. I was forced to rely completely on family for the most basic things, since I was so unwell and at the same time, a new mom. This brought me face-to-face with many elements of my ego and crumbled many patterns and long-held beliefs. I started the year hiding in my home, not reaching out to others. I finished the year actively blogging about the Ass Year and publicly asking for support. Only then did things really begin to improve.

As I emerged from the Ass Year, I began to notice that my clients also struggled with similar issues around asking for help and treating themselves with kindness. These are two of the biggest reasons that TMS or Mind-Body Syndrome develops, because not asking for support and not being kind to one’s self causes immense pressure. In other words, it makes life a lot, lot harder. Just one tiny example of that: my best friend was actually angry with me during the Ass Year, because I didn’t ask her for help.

Learning to be kind to myself was such an incredibly powerful undertaking that it inspired me to create the Kindness Community, a resource for people who are struggling with TMS/Mind-Body Syndrome, other mind-body issues like body image and confidence, and trusting their own inner wisdom. It’s also a place where we explore spiritual awakening and the role of self-kindness as the heart of that process.

The Kindness Community idea sprang from my desire for connection and the work I did to move from going it alone to going it with support. Sometimes, going it alone simply isn’t possible. We are all connected. We are all part of the whole. It’s only ego that thinks going it alone is a good idea. When you learn, like I did, that it’s not even really possible, then walls crumble and love flows into your heart. It’s a veritable lake of love from all the sources and places you couldn’t see, feel, or hear until the walls disappeared.

My heart is that lake, now, filled and overflowing. I have received the love sent my way from so many people, over so many years, because I was finally willing to allow it. I was finally willing to be completely vulnerable, to show my soft underbelly, to ask for help, to ask for support, to, at long last, truly care for myself. It’s the beginning of an awakening.

I guess I kind of do appreciate the Ass Year, after all.

by Endorsed Anamsong Coach Lorraine Faehndrich

How Many of Us Respect Our Own NO?

And forget respecting, how many of us are actually even AWARE of our own NO?  Not only when it comes to sex and intimacy, but in all aspects of our lives?
I promise you, not many!

That’s why we end up in pain.

We continue to push past our body’s signals that something isn’t good for us to the point that we no longer even know we’re getting any signals.

Until we end up in pain.

It seems to be an unconscious reflex for many women, especially those of us who have struggled with pelvic pain, to override and ignore our own limits, needs, and desires.

I am going to share a secret with you. 

It’s a big secret, one that can change your life if you’re willing to accept it.  It has changed mine, and I’ve seen it change many many women’s lives – magically.

Are you ready?

OK here it is……

Your mind is ALMOST NEVER a reliable indicator of whether or not something is good for you, but your body ALWAYS IS.

In fact, your soul communicates with you through YOUR BODY.

You can always rely on your body to tell you the truth about what IS and IS NOT on your soul’s path, what is or is not good for YOU.

And, just in case you were wondering, putting a lot of pressure on yourself, being perfectionistic, taking care of everyone else before you take care of yourself, staying in relationships that aren’t feeding you, or jobs that make you feel like you’re dying……those things, they are NOT on your soul’s path.   

And your body has been trying to let you know that, probably for a VERY VERY long time.

Every time you do something that you don’t want to do, or that isn’t on your soul’s path, or that disregards your needs – for safety (physical or emotional), rest, kindness, fun, love or connection….. your body sends you a signal in the form of a physiological response. 

Your muscles tense slightly.  You hold your breath a little.  There’s a slight heaviness in your chest or tightness in your belly.  Your stress response is triggered.  Neurotransmitters and hormone balance are affected.  And it’s a good bet that if you’re experiencing pelvic pain, your pelvic floor muscles….the muscles in your vulva and around your vagina…. tense ever so slightly every time your body is saying NO.

EVERY TIME.  No Exceptions.  (Remember, Your Body NEVER Lies.)

No biggie, right?

Well, not if this only happened once a week, or once a day even.

But for most women, this ignoring of ourselves and our needs on a deep level, this has become a constant, chronic state of being.

It’s happening ALL the time.

And it’s gotten to the point that it’s impacting our health.

We are living our lives spending the majority of our time every day doing or thinking things that are NOT on our soul’s path – not to mention ignoring our needs on just about every level.

This is a state of being that our bodies CAN NOT and WILL NOT let us sustain for an extended period of time (like oh say – years!) without creating pain – or some other illness that stops us in our tracks.

So, if you want to relieve pain, the ONLY option is to start tuning in and paying attention to when YOUR body is saying NO.

In BIG ways and small ways – all the time.

And then follow its guidance!

Which I grant you isn’t always easy, but necessary if you want to relieve that pain.

If you’re overwhelmed by that idea, I’m not surprised and you’re not alone.

It seems overwhelming to start tuning into your body when you’ve been habitually ignoring it for so long (except of course when your frustrated with it for being in pain).

We’ve practiced keeping our attention out of our bodies and off of the uncomfortable sensations there, with things like food, shopping, tv, internet, and never-ending “To Do” lists for a long time.

And there’s good reason for that.  Once we start becoming aware of what our body is saying, it can require us to face some painful truths and some often long overdue tough choices.

What I can tell you is that as scary as that seems, it is the most amazing thing you can do for yourself!

Partnering with your body and following its guidance will transform your life.

It may not be easy, but it’s probably a lot easier than you think it will be, and it will not only lead to pain relief….

It will lead to FREEDOM and JOY.

It’s TOTALLY worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, all this is why one of the first things I teach women, and write about frequently,  is how to bring your attention into your body and become aware of the sensations that are there.

Because even if your mind may have a million and one justifications for why you have to do what you’re doing, to the point that you think you WANT to keep having sex even when it doesn’t feel great (or sometimes even when it hurts) or spend all day every day caring for your family without taking any nourishing time for yourself, or stay in that job that is suffocating your soul, the sensations in your body will tell you otherwise.

One NO at a time.

Until eventually, you become an expert in what it feels like when your body says YES!

And you know deep down, in the deepest part of your being, that following those YES’s is your only choice.  Those YES’s are gold, You wouldn’t think of doing anything else.

That’s when your pain will go away.  And it will have served a very important purpose.  It will have reconnected you with YOU.

And really, what’s the point of living this life if we’re not being who we ARE.

Stop resisting your pain.  Start respecting your bodies NO’s and treasuring it’s YES’s and see where it takes you.

I promise you will be pleasantly surprised.

Lorraine Faehndrich is an Endorsed Mind Body Coach and Women’s Health Mentor specializing in the relief of Female Pelvic and Sexual Pain – including Vulvodynia and Vulvar Vestibulitis. In addition to helping women find relief for their pain, Lorraine helps her clients break through to a whole new understanding of their health and their body, reconnect with their truth and go on to live outrageously joyful and radiantly healthy lives!

To learn more about how to work with her or to receive a Free Mind Body Alchemy Starter Kit please visit www.RadiantLifeDesign.com

I spent a lot of time in the last few years wishing my life could go back to normal. Some days I longed for normal so badly that it made me cry. It wasn’t that I was just in pain from being injured in an accident; it was the frustration that I could no longer do some of the things that were normal to me.

In my career as a mind-body coach I watch people long for normal all the time. Many of my current clients suffer from IBS, digestive disorders, and chronic pain. They talk often about wanting a normal life. They want to enjoy themselves and go out socially and not worry about what could happen in an hour from now.

In my own journey with pain I saw the same thing. You feel that some external thing has taken away your freedom. You want to do all the things you used to do; you want to function in the world like a normal person. For me it got to a point that watching other people do common everyday tasks such as working on an iPad or riding a bike made me jealous and even angry. I wanted to do things the way a normal person would.

I’ve made great progress since a year and half ago when I was at that rock-bottom point in which normal seemed so far away.

What I learned in the process is living life with those thoughts is complete torture because you’re spending all of your time resisting your reality. All of this resisting leads to pent-up tension in your body, which does nothing good to help you heal.

If you are a person with IBS or in chronic pain, then you know that there are days when you feel that you are back to normal, and you start trying to do things you enjoy again and sometimes wake up the next day and find the pain is back. Then the cycle of fear, panic and self blame starts. Then you have to do the hardest thing: just sit with it and allow it to be there. If you’re someone who’s used to being active, the most difficult thing to do is surrender to the present moment when you hate everything about it.

But when you do learn to surrender to it and just be where you are, your body begins to react in a similar way. It calms back down and gets back to the process of healing. Calm is the normal function of your body, your nervous system, and everything about you. You just don’t know that because that’s where our mind gets confused and maybe a little bit lost.

So you need to take your scared, panicked self by the hand and bring her back to calm.

While being coached on this very subject many months ago, I could feel my body going back to calm. Then suddenly my mind immediately went back to my story “I want to be normal, I don’t even want to spend this time being here, or having to do this”. Then my coaching buddy said in the most loving voice, your normal wasn’t working for you because if it was you wouldn’t be where you’re at right now. Though my pain came from an injury, my “normal way” of handling it, wasn’t working.

Then I realized I had convinced myself that I had to get back to being busy, productive, and doing all my tasks exactly the same way in order to be normal. But when I did this I wound up feeling like absolute crap. So I’ve gotten used to the “new normal”, which is slower, measured, and full of modifications that I wish I didn’t need. What I have learned is that the new normal actually feels really good. I can see my progress day by day. I can take breaks whenever necessary, and I’ve slowed down enough to really appreciate what I do have going for me in my life.

I also stopped giving a crap about every little thing. And that felt really good!

There is always a lesson in pain and it can profoundly change your perspective, but you have to be willing to not be normal anymore. That shift comes with a great release and you become more powerful than you ever imagined. Letting go of “normal” allows you to be brave and create new directions in your life.

Being both a Certified Martha Beck coach and an Endorsed Mind – Body coach,  I have learned a lot about how we can stand in our own way when it comes to improving our lives and our health. As a recovering perfectionist who suffered from IBS and injury induced chronic pain, I now use the mind-body approach in my everyday life and am amazed at the change it has created for me. I also love seeing how it transforms the lives of my clients! A lover of new places, at the moment I live in southern Florida with my husband and super cute dog Aspen. When I’m not coaching you will find me walking on the beaches of southern Florida and doing whatever else feels good in the moment.  if you’d like to learn more about coaching together, please send me an email or check out my website www.ibslifestyle.com

Really? My body is talking to me? Can you please tell me what the heck it’s saying!

If you are suffering with chronic pain or fatigue and haven’t been able to find lasting relief, you’ve probably considered the possibility that your physical symptoms have a deeper cause.

Maybe you’ve tried to reduce stress, acknowledge old emotions, let go of anger and resentment, or think more positive thoughts.

You may even have an inkling that your body is saying STOP – since that’s all you seem to be able to do – but still, you’re not sure WHY and you can’t figure it out.  So, you continue to alternate between ignoring, tolerating, or medicating your symptoms (if that’ even possible) and frantically trying to find a cure.

Unfortunately, none of those options will EVER heal your body.

The only way to do that is to listen.

When you are out of balance physically, your soul is sending you a message, and until you can understand and implement the guidance you are receiving, you are going to be exhausted or in pain no matter what else you do.

Here’s how your guidance system is meant to work…

Step 1.   Your Emotions give you guidance.

Your soul has an outrageously joyful life experience in store for you and it is constantly giving you guidance, in the form of your emotions, about how to live it.  This is a highly sophisticated, system, but for our purposes right now we can boil it down to these simple principles:

Joy = You are on the right track! Go this way!  More! More!

Anger, Sadness, Fear = You are slightly or way off course.   Tune in for further instructions.

Step 2.  Feel Your Emotions and Receive Their Guidance.

This requires noticing and allowing the energy of the emotion (which may not always feel comfortable) to move through your body, tracking the physical sensations of it, asking it if it has a message for you, and listening for the answer.

Step 3.  Implement Your Guidance.

Sometimes just allowing the emotional energy to move through your body will be enough.  For instance, sadness will help you let go of anything you no longer need, fear will help you focus, and anger will help you strengthen your boundary in a healthy way.

Sometimes an action will be required – a change in direction (big or small), physically letting something go, or putting yourself out there and allowing your voice to be heard.

Acting on the information your mind-body-emotion system gives you, will not only keep you feeling great physically, it will keep you on the path to your best, most fulfilling, and outrageously joyful life.

What goes wrong?

When we don’t notice, or don’t allow our emotions to flow through us, there are physical affects.

Initially, repressing emotions (consciously or unconsciously) leads to subtle physiological changes – like muscle tension, and activation of the fight or flight response – including restricted blood flow and an increased production of stress hormones.  It also leads to lack of passion and enthusiasm, feeling flat, and eventually depression and/or anxiety.

It takes a lot of energy for the body to constantly tense and contract muscles, and chronically be in the fight or flight response.   It breaks the body down.

So, when initial physical signs go unnoticed or ignored long enough they will escalate to chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and/or other recurring health issues.  Often there will be a direct connection between the part of the body that you are habitually tensing to suppress emotion, and your symptoms.  For instance chronically and unconsciously tensing pelvic floor muscles leads to pelvic pain syndromes.  Chronically tensing neck, shoulder and jaw muscles leads to migraines.  Chronically tensing all muscles leads to exhaustion.

What to do about it:

Because of how long this has been going on, it’s usually not quite as simple as just asking and listening – although that is always a useful thing to do.  Just don’t get frustrated if you don’t hear or understand the answers right away.

Understanding what your body is saying requires learning a whole new language – the language of your body and soul – the language of sensation.

To learn this language, you need to turn up the volume on sensation – not turn it down.  This may seem counterintuitive if you are in pain.   But trust me, it is the only way to lasting relief.

Start by cultivating your willingness to notice, appreciate, and allow every little sensation that you have in your body – the ones that feel good and the ones that don’t.

Like learning any language, understanding the language of your body will take practice, patience and experience.

Tips to get you Started:

• Set aside some time every day to practice. 
• Notice your breath.  Breathe into your low belly and imagine bringing your energy and intention into your body.
• Track the sensations you notice in your body – So, for example you may notice that you are holding tension in your feet.  Say to yourself “I notice I am feeling tension in my feet today.”  Then move onto your calves, thighs, pelvis, etc.  Just naming what you notice as you go.
• Don’t try to relax tension or pain away.  Let it be there.  (Although, if it dissipates on its own that’s completely fine!)
• Have a dialog.  Ask the sensations in your body if they have a purpose.  Ask them how they are here to help you.  Ask your body what it needs and how you can get started giving it what it needs.  You may not get an answer right away.  That’s ok.  The answers will come when you are ready to hear and understand them.
• As you practice, over time, you will begin to understand your body’s language.  And, as you do, you will be empowered to follow its guidance.

It may be hard to believe now, but one day in the near future you are going to be filled with appreciation for your pain or fatigue, or whatever health issue is stopping you in your tracks right now.

It is your greatest teacher.

It’s not going to allow you to continue living out of alignment, just getting by, living a safe life.

It’s going to lead you right into your calling, your passion, and your joy.

Open your mind to that possibility.

Stop resisting.  Stop ignoring.  Stop trying to make it go away.

Start with the premise that your body is perfect, and wise, and your best friend in the world, and see what happens. 

You will be amazed by how much love and guidance are available to you right now.

Lorraine Faehndrich is an Endorsed Mind Body Coach and Women’s Health Mentor with over 15 years experience with mind and body healing. She specializes in helping women who are suffering with chronic and recurring vulvo-vaginal pain identify the true cause of their symptoms so that they can heal. Lorraine helps her clients to not only transform their health and get out of pain, but also empowers them to use their pain to connect to their body, live their passion, and claim a truly magical and outrageously joyful life!

To learn more about Lorraine or how to work with her please visit www.RadiantLifeDesign.com

As the years passed, I got more efficient with my techniques. I started teaching them to others who wanted to know how to heal themselves. Working with others and continuing to keep myself healthy led to something interesting; I found that I had boiled down my own mind-body practice to a core practice. I relied on this core practice every day to maintain my health, feel good emotionally, and decrease my stress.

After years of chronic physical pain and stress followed by years of using mind-body healing, I know that it is vital to my health and well-being to maintain a light but effective mind-body routine. Without that, I tend to fall back into old patterns, old ways of dealing with stress, my body, my emotions, and daily life. When I fall back into old patterns, I get sick, something starts hurting, or my body finds some way to remind me to get out my mind-body skills.

Yet, I’m also a person who likes to do a lot of different things. I’m usually fairly busy, excited about lots of different projects, and living a full life. I don’t want to devote hours and hours a day to my mind-body practice. That’s why I ended up distilling all those hours of research and all those mind-body healing tools down into my short daily practice.

About a year ago, I started using this distilled core mind-body practice of mine with my clients. I wasn’t sure if it would work for others – I just knew it worked for me. Yet, my clients found it extremely helpful. It seemed I’d found a concise way to help people with the “how-to” of mind-body healing.

Now, I’ve written the core mind-body practice down and created a package for anyone who wants to learn and use it in their own lives – no coaching needed. It’s all there, in a short ebook, a sample recorded coaching session, and a guided audio of the practice. It’s my go-to tool for myself, what I use with my clients, and the basis for everything I do in my personal and professional practice.

Since I’m about to take a short coaching hiatus while I give birth and transition into motherhood, I thought this would be the ideal time to share this Core Anamsong Mind-Body Practice with you. You can learn everything you need to know in the ebook, start implementing it into your own life, and essentially coach yourself! The guided audio will allow you to sit back and be taken through the practice any time you want. I always love being guided, myself, so that I can close my eyes, sink deeply into the practice, and really get great results. And, hearing me coach a client through the practice will help you see it in action and apply it to your own life.

Whether you’re struggling with pain issues, stress, confidence, or even career and business building, the Core Anamsong Mind-Body Practice will serve as a central tool for you to use to create change in your life. I’m so excited for you to try it out, start to see the power of the combined mind-body skills working in your life, and get results.

By now, if you follow my blog, you’ve probably downloaded the Hear Your Soul, Heal Yourself complimentary ebook. (If not, grab your copy in the right sidebar sign-up box!) I’ve written that ebook to give you a good, solid, introduction to the mind-body healing basics. Now, you’re ready to take it further, to a deeper level, to the next step. You’re ready to use the Core Anamsong Mind-Body Practice, which is slightly more advanced, but can serve as a basis for your daily practice for years to come. It’s the practice that will allow you to connect deeply with yourself, heal, and let your soul sing.

Click here if you’re ready to learn more about the Let Your Soul Sing: The Core Anamsong Mind-Body Practice Package!

I suggested she ask, “How can I have fun?” and “What feels great?” anytime she was planning her day. Immediately she saw that walking her dog could be a totally different experience. She could jog if she wanted to. She could go to a different location. She was completely in charge of making that task enjoyable for herself – except, she hadn’t been making it enjoyable. She’d been making it boring and un-fun.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Yet, taking charge of your day, your week, your life and being proactive about making it the way you want – REALLY the way you want – sometimes falls through the cracks. It’s easy to fall into the “have to’s” and the “shoulds” and the “get it done” mode. Believe me, I can certainly go there.

However, I think my body has given me special training in creating a life that feels fun and enjoyable. Going through the chronic pain experience really opened my eyes and forced me to start listening to my body. Instead of constantly letting my mind rule my days, I had to start following my body’s needs. Those ranged from types and amounts of rest to types and amounts of foods to types and amounts of physical movement.

I learned that my body knew exactly what it wanted, and if I listened, I had a lot more fun. Everything went more smoothly in my life. My body had opinions on everything. All I had to do was tune in and listen.

Now, many years later, I let my body inform me on a daily basis. I let my body tell me what feels great. It’s not always what my logical mind would have guessed, which is what makes it interesting. I let my mind and body work as a team. Once my mind has heard what my body has to say, I then proactively and deliberately choose and plan to make my day, my week, my month as good as possible. I find as much fun, enjoyment, and contentment as possible. I tailor my life to what truly feels good to me, my body, and my soul.

The funny thing is, this is actually pretty simple. I find that what feels great is often just a simple tweak to how I’m already doing things. Sometimes it means adding in a bigger change, but for the most part, I find contentment and peace right here, in this moment, sipping cold water with lemon in it. No lemon? Not as much fun. Not quite right. When I take the time to listen to the small needs, the little things, the details of what makes my life just right, I feel great.

Why not give it a try?

What do you need today?

What feels fun?

What feels great?

What does your body want to do, eat, drink?

Don’t let a single moment pass without upgrading it to exactly what you want. Seriously. It’s a wild idea, but I think you’ll see how much fun your life can be as a result.

Since letting my mind run my life ran me right off the road into a ditch full of physical pain, poor self-confidence, constant fighting with my body, and lots of stress, I’ve decided it’s not the best approach for me.

 Instead, I now ask my body to lead the way. Every day. Literally.

 I sit down and pose questions to my body like:

• What do you want to tell me today?
• What should I do next in my business?
• What items on my to-do list today are a priority?
• How are you trying to help me today?

It took some time to learn this process and to hear and trust my body’s answers. Now that it’s easy, (not because I’m talented – just because I’ve done it a lot) I can live every day this way. Of course there are still times when I forget to both ask and listen, but my body reminds me quickly to get back in the conversation.

I used to wait until my body hurt before I asked and listened. Now, I do it because it makes every day so much easier, and so much better. And yes, there are definitely times when my body says something much different from my mind, and I must make a choice – go with the “should” or the “feels right.” I’ve learned, through much experience, that the “feels right” IS right, for me.

Since becoming pregnant, my body has become even more adamant about things, and it’s quite easy to hear its requests. Recently, though, my body and I have had a small battle over “morning sickness.” (More like 24/7 sickness.) Frankly, I am really sick of being sick. I got mad at my body. I cried. I had hysterics. I begged. I mean, come on! Enough already! I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me, body! I’ve eaten large quantities of protein. I’ve rested. I’ve breathed. I’ve felt my emotions. I’ve rested more. I’ve taken walks. I’ve eaten every 2-3 hours. What more can I do????!!!!

ARGH!

Emotions spent, I laid down and stared at the ceiling. And then, I heard it – the voice of my body. Calmly, lovingly, and gently, it explained. It said, “The thing is, there’s no need for healing. This morning sickness is not illness. It’s wellness. It means everything is going really well. It’s a side-effect of this healthy pregnancy you’re having. It’s the way it works, in here, in your body, right now. So wanting it to go away or thinking it’s not good is fighting against what is right for you and your baby.”

Well. When you put it like that…

And once again, listening to my body brought a sense of sanity and even peace. I still don’t like feeling this way. I would still do a very big happy dance if the nausea lifted. And when it does, I will. But for now, this is where I am. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right. And that is something to celebrate.

The more you listen to your body, the more surprises you’ll get. The more you’ll find yourself at peace instead of at war. Why not start now? Sit down, lie down, go for a walk – whatever feels good. Then, ask the question: Body, what are you trying to tell me today?

(And then hop on over to the anamsong facebook page to share!)

Want to go even deeper and create a whole new relationship with your body? Ready to end the battle and create a friendship, instead? Join me next week for my End the Body Battle Telecourse!

Last year, I thought I would be pregnant and then give birth to a baby.

Instead, I miscarried. Then I ended up being pregnant with my life’s work and giving birth to that instead.

Of course I mourned the loss of my baby. I grieved. I healed. But I’ve also had enough experience with my mind-body-soul connection to know that there was infinite wisdom in the experience, somewhere. I would just have to wait to see it.

Sure enough, I can see it now.

I needed to spend time writing and creating this new material. It brought me clarity. It connected me more deeply to my life’s mission: To facilitate the mind-body connection for anyone who needs it. To teach other coaches how to do the same. To help those who are suffering return to their inner wisdom, gain strength and confidence, and trust their own soul once again.

To do all that, I needed to connect with my own soul on a whole new level. Losing the baby and reassessing my whole life made me do that. It was the path I needed to take this past year.

Many years ago, a similar thing happened. I suffered mightily at the hands of chronic pain and mental panic. I went through hell. At that time, I didn’t trust my soul. I didn’t think it was happening to help me grow as a person. I just thought I was being tortured.

And yet…that experience forced me to take charge of my inner life. It forced me to stop playing the victim role and to dig deep into my own power. It forced me to learn how to heal myself, and to learn that was even possible. It forced me to look at where I was unwittingly creating stress in my body and imbalance in my psyche.

In the end, I became a totally new me. I became the real me, the Abigail who lets her soul sing, every day. Who no longer hides, hates her body, or uses achievement as her only way to self-worth. I became intimately aware and connected with my own soul, my spiritual beliefs, and the energy that keeps me alive, every day. I became a person who listens to her body, lets her emotions flow, and doesn’t criticize herself constantly.

I didn’t become perfect. I learned how to forgive myself for not being perfect, and how to know that I’m already perfect, just as I am.

I also found my life’s work, my passion, my calling – whatever you want to call it.

All that from suffering and pain.

Of course, I’d love to learn my big life lessons from joy instead of pain. And I actually think that’s possible, now. But I do know myself, and I know my stubborn streak. I needed a good whap upside the head to awaken to my true life path.

In just a couple weeks, anamsong will be officially born. I’ll be the proud mother of a baby I really do love, even if she’s not the one I thought I’d be holding in my arms. So maybe this post is my birth announcement. I’m so deliriously in love with everything that’s associated with anamsong. I love the Irish word “anam” in the name. I love that I’m finally finding a way to incorporate all of me into what I do – my musician self, my coach self, my writer self, and my teacher self. I love that I’ll be able to clearly serve three different groups of people: people in physical pain, people fighting mental stress, and coaches looking to grow amazing businesses.

You know what?

In a lot of ways, this birth announcement is really the rebirth of me. I feel whole and complete. I feel good in my own skin. I like who I am. I love who I am. I love what I do. Finally, all of me gets to come out and play.

When we fall off the shelf and shatter to pieces, we aren’t broken. Instead, we discover the amazing work of art that was inside all along.

I’ve fallen and shattered many times. I’ll probably do it again. But I’ll be reborn, just that much more whole, each time.

Let’s have a party to celebrate rebirth. I’m creating a new Facebook page for anamsong, and when it’s ready, I’ll let you know. You’re invited to come celebrate launch week there, with me. I don’t know what we’ll do at the party yet, but it will be virtual, fun, and whatever we want it to be. Share your party ideas with me! I might be sweaty, exhausted, and a proud new mama, but I’ll be ready to celebrate.

Re-defining my coaching business, creating a new website, writing a book, running my Mind-Body Coach Training, and being the Life Coach Training Coordinator for Martha Beck, Inc is kind of a lot. In fact, as I write that list, I realize I haven’t actually considered how much is going on in my work life. I might need a nap now.

Here’s the small problem with following your passion: it’s easy to fill your passion plate until it resembles a Thanksgiving feast. I am so in love with what I do that I am constantly getting new ideas. I literally have enough ideas right now to fill the next five years. I have audio/video courses I want to make, more books I want to write, classes I want to give, trainings I want to run…and on and on.

I even get ideas for other people. I am an idea factory. And when I get an idea, I make it a reality. So you can expect that after my book is done, I’ll be whipping up that first audio/video course, just for you! (Need an idea? I’m sure I can whip one up for you!)

You would think that I’d be slightly crazy, overworked, and exhausted from doing all the things I’m doing. And yes, I do get tired. (But it’s a good tired. A satisfying, carpe-diem-happened-today tired.) Overall, though, I feel a constant sense of inspiration. I feel joy. I feel alive.

It’s kind of like falling in love every day.

So what’s the key to my sanity? A little thing called Turtle Steps. I learned them from Martha Beck when I first took Life Coach Training. Turtle Steps are tiny, teeny-weeny, ridiculously easy steps toward a goal. To create a Turtle Step, you look at your end goal, break up the steps toward achieving it, and then cut them in half. Then cut them in half again. Keep cutting them in half until they are so easy that you could do them in your sleep. Then, you start with the first easy Turtle Step.  Follow that with the next one. And the next. It might be just one Turtle Step per day, but you keep on trekking. Lo and behold – you accomplish your vision.

In my previous life, I did not use Turtle Steps. I focused on Scaling Mountains in a Single Bound as my primary action mode. Needless to say, that worked so well that I ended up flat on my back, in chronic pain, endlessly overwhelmed by the constant pressure I put on myself.

So in this moment, I’d just like to say congrats to myself for actually changing this mode of action. Learning to do Turtle Steps was a major achievement for me. I really thought that Scaling Mountains was better. Faster. More reliable. Until I realized Scaling Mountains was killing me. And that I often had trouble completing a goal because the mountain just seemed so darn big.

The truth is, I can get way more done by using Turtle Steps. Though tiny, they are so do-able. They accumulate quickly. Before you know it, there you are, at the finish line!

In creating my new website, I decided I wanted to write a free ebook for anyone who dropped by to visit. Then, being me, I decided a short little ebook wasn’t going to do it. I wanted the book to be jam-packed with helpful information. So the little ebook grew and grew. Until I realized it was actually a book-book. In the end, I essentially found myself with several mountains worth of writing projects – writing the copy for the new site, writing the book, writing the audio/video course I’m working on, and writing scripts for videos I wanted to create.

Yet, in just a few short months, it’s all nearly done. The videos have been shot. The website copy is done. The book is in final editing mode. Looking back, I can hardly believe it’s all happened so quickly. I owe it to Turtle Steps.

So, if you are feeling overwhelmed today, take a moment to break up your to-do’s into ridiculously easy pieces. (And don’t cheat on this step! Really make the Turtle Steps EASY!) Do one. Check it off. Feel a sense of accomplishment. Congratulate yourself. Repeat. You’ll be amazed at how much faster things get done even as you feel so much less overwhelmed. Stop Scaling Mountains. Your body will thank you, your mind will feel rested, and your soul will sing.

And…stay tuned. The new website and book are coming soon!