I’ve had a few (as in a LOT) of those in my life. That’s exactly why I created Slacker Magic. 

When shit hits the fan, Slacker Magic will carry you forward. It will be the ground under your feet in groundless times. It will help you navigate both the best and the worst of times. 

Recently, an acquaintance was asking me what I do. I told him about Slacker Magic. 

He said, “Oh yes! I’ve had to learn how to live like that because of serious illness.” Yep.

When hard times hit, you can’t afford to add self-pressure, pushing, and over-efforting into the mix. Everything that adds extra stress has to be stripped away so that you can survive. 

You need your inner wisdom guidance there, waiting, ready to show you the next step forward. And the next. And the next. 

During major upheavals, there’s no map. There’s no clarity. It’s a lonely, confusing swirl of who-knows. That’s when our minds start to go into over-drive; trying, pushing, efforting, and pressuring. We judge ourselves. We blame ourselves. 

Slacker Magic takes all that away and shows you how to rest into the flow. It helps you find bits of peace in the messiest of times. 

The phrase Slacker Magic can sound light and playful, but it is rooted in and was born from the hardest moments of my life. It’s magical and practical. It’s light and it’s solid. It’s there for you when you need a way forward. 

Want to learn how to use Slacker Magic to create practical and magical flow in your life? Come join me in the Slacker Magic Course! Learn more and register here.

So, imagine my surprise when I opened my practice and promptly created a giant business goal that felt, um…kind of hard.

I’ve repeated that situation every year since. Yes, I’m a good boss. But do I make things easy for myself? Not one bit. I create challenge after challenge for myself. I’m constantly pushing my edge.

Am I trying to torture myself?

Not at all. Actually, I’m having extreme amounts of fun.

To explain why this practice of challenging myself and pushing my edge creates so much joy and delight, I have to share the work of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi with you. He wrote the book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, which is an interesting read for any entrepreneur.

When I first read his book in 2010, I realized I’d been accidentally creating a state of flow for myself.

There are a few important ingredients you need to create a state of flow. You need to choose your adventure, have the internal motivation to explore it, create some challenge but not too much challenge, and have a passion for the subject matter.

Csikszentmihalyi explains in Flow that approaching something “in a spirit of adventure and curiosity…for the sake of the experience rather than as a showcase for one’s expertise,” is a key element of flow. Combine that with passion for and enough challenge to engage you fully in what you’re doing and you’ve got the perfect recipe for creating an optimal experience (flow).

Without knowing why I was challenging myself, I stumbled into the joy of creating flow in my business. While it may sound great to have everything be easy as an entrepreneur, it’s actually not. Your business and your life will feel more like play if you are experimenting and challenging yourself, while at the same time, exploring in your zone of passion.

You’ll gain confidence and feel the best when you’re meeting challenges and then creating new levels of competence.

Magic and delight happen when we’re in the flow state; moving, creating, experimenting, discovering, expanding. Sure, we all need downtime. Engage in too much flow and you’ll wear yourself out. Time for restoration is vital. Then it’s time to return to creating more delight through experiencing flow.

A few weeks ago, I was asked to play the violin for an event. It was a situation with not much lead time, very little clarity around when/what I was supposed to play, but lots of beautiful music. I said yes, even though I was just slightly uncomfortable. I knew I’d be challenged, but the chances were high I could do it. It was a perfect chance to experience flow.

Sure enough, it was a challenge. I had to learn fast. But, it was just right. In the end, I got my flow experience out of the deal. It was so much fun, and I developed a new level of confidence in myself.

Having this mindset – choosing to create a state of flow – will change how you understand yourself, work and play.

It’ll make you excited to play in your business. Step into challenges in order to develop your confidence. Play in this way (consciously choosing challenge and experimentation that you decide to experience) and you won’t be nearly as scared. You’ll be rewarded with improved confidence and the feeling of joy.

Finding flow is a key component of Slacker Magic, my method for living life with less self-pressure, more fun, and lots of inner wisdom guidance. As you trust your inner wisdom more, you’ll find yourself discovering new ways to live in flow.

Flow is feminine energy. It births. There is the discomfort of birth and the joy of birth all at the same time. Experiment, play, get curious and toss yourself a little challenge. Discomfort and delight will cohabitate in your body and the magical alchemy of flow will turn it into joy.

Want more flow? Come join me in my Mind-Body Magic Facebook Group where we explore everything mind-body, Slacker Magic, and creating joy.

I used to think that I had to work really hard to get things done, but when I became a coach and healer many years ago, I learned and practiced that the art of getting things done in this world is by entering a flow of creativity. It’s not about pushing, but about being pulled and listening for that gentle pulling forward.

The other morning, I was writing my memoir outside because the weather was so beautiful. I only work on this project in the early morning before carpool. During the day, I’m involved in other projects and life with family, coaching and continued learning causes me to be masterful with prioritizing my time.

Anyway, that morning, I felt the desire to move inside to continue writing. My desk overlooks my garden, my bird feeders and the one tree that graces our Chicago backyard. I was blessed to see such colorful birds including two that I’ve never seen before—two Rose-Breasted Grosbeaks. Such beautiful birds with black, white, and red markings! I didn’t continue working on the memoir, but delighted in the scene out my window and rolled with the flow to other parts of my life.

I’ve been working on the memoir for about two years now. It’s a huge project with a very steep learning curve. I used to think that I would just work on it a few full days a week and get it done. But I couldn’t. Not because life happened, but because flow didn’t happen.

I believe that all our work, parenting, health, whatever we are involved in, is about creativity.

All parts of our lives are creative happenings, and therefore it’s necessary to tap into the flow of our creative selves, to be in tune with higher intuition, and take action from that higher energetic vibration.

For me, the creative energy flow that I need to write the memoir happens in early morning, before the distractions and involvement of other areas of my life begin to take place. And no matter how involved I get in the flow of the memoir writing, I need to contain it when the clock strikes 8 am and getting my child ready for carpool needs to happen. And then I flow into that part of my life.

The same goes throughout the day; each activity and space of time requires a different kind of flow of creativity. I have a lot to do on my to-do list and because of my introvertedness, I’m careful to flow with my reserved energy. The ebb and flow of activity and downtime, talking and silence, is all taken into consideration as my energy flows through the day.

I also monitor closely if there are activities that drain my energy or give me a physical symptom like a headache. If either of those result, I take it to heart what my body is telling me and then dive in for some somatic information as to what’s going on. Did I push myself a little too long with a project or was the inner critic dragging on me when I was taking some action forward? Did I talk a little too long with someone or did I share too much of myself and energy in an interaction? I have to flow into healing mode to discern what’s going on and then make little shifts accordingly.

And how about you? Are you pushing yourself forward blindly or can you bring awareness to your flow and what wants to happen? Are you careful with your energy? If you’re an extrovert, do you surround yourself with people who you can express to? Do you work in an environment that nurtures your outgoing nature?

Or, if you’re an introvert like me, are you careful with that ebb and flow I spoke of? Are you aware and honoring of your need for quiet time in between ‘outward’ energy time?

And what projects light you up and excite you and which ones drag you way down? Sometimes it’s the activity itself that feels bad, but sometimes it’s the thoughts or the way that you’re approaching the activity that feels bad. Before you dump the activity or project, it’s important to discern what’s happening ‘behind the scenes’ in your mind, emotions and soul.

Maybe sometimes you are like me when nothing is flowing well because a strong emotion like anger, fear, or sadness comes up. When this happens, I know I need to take the time to address those before I can step into a flow of creativity. Being present and allowing those emotional energies is one way to get unblocked so that forward movement can resume in relationships, work, projects, and joy activities.

What helps you move forward?

Is it a gratitude list, a 10 minute meditation, or just some deep, conscious inhale and exhale breaths?

Trust is an important concept to bring into our awareness of flow. Like going back to the memoir writing which I had put aside and bird watched instead. When I didn’t return to that activity that morning, I trusted that if it was meant to be, I’d be up early the next day, involved in continuing the momentum of the writing as I’d been doing for the past two years. Some things are slow and steady and some things move a bit faster, but either way, let yourself listen and be pulled gently into the Flow

Miriam Racquel (Meryl) Feldman is a Somatic Healer and Certified Mind-body and Martha Beck Coach. She is a published writer and speaker based in Chicago. Integrating her knowledge of Kabbalistic Judaism, Somatic Healing, and Coaching, Miriam Racquel empowers women with clarity and peace-of-mind in their relationships, career and health.For more information, visit MiriamRacquel.com or email her at miriam@miriamracquel.com.

I stepped into the isolation booth, violin in hand. I tried to act very calm, but my heart was pounding. I was about to record a violin part, and it was my first time in a professional recording studio. I tried some deep breathing. Gack. Why in the world did I agree to do this?

I may have a problem. A good friend of mine calls it the Cookie Jar Syndrome – I like to eat all the cookies in the jar. I’ll admit I like to say yes to life experiences whenever they sound fun, exciting, challenging, or generally good for my personal growth. I find it hard to turn down an invitation to such experiences, which means that my plate is often very full.

Recently, I’ve been beating myself up about this issue, because my schedule is cram-packed right now. Every work hour is already scheduled through the end of the year, and my personal time is also mostly booked. For some reason, all of the awesome experiences I’ve said yes to this year are happening right now. Including recording a violin track for a professional recording.

Oops.

I’ve been telling myself I’m an idiot, saying I have poor boundaries, and really hitting myself over the head with “I should be doing things differently than I am.” Ouch. This kind of self-flagellation goes exactly nowhere.

So, I remembered that I like to practice and teach this thing called self-kindness. In fact, I have even started an entire Kindness Community. Oh, right! That! Self-kindness! It’s only the most important tool in my toolbox for well-being. And here I am, completely forgetting about it.

Putting my own tools to the test, I tuned in to myself and listened to my inner wisdom.

(The tools I use for this are available in the Kindness Community, by the way!)

My inner wisdom was pretty easy to hear. First of all, there was the delighted humming of joy in my chest, which I’d been feeling ever since I left the recording studio, successful violin track completed. Then there was the delighted little voice in my heart, telling me ideas for an upcoming telecourse I’m giving. My inner wisdom was pretty clear. It said:

You are absolutely on the right track.

This is how you like to live.

This is you, listening to the joy and following it.

Come to think of it, right now I am very, very happy. Sure, my calendar is crammed. Yes, I am doing a lot of things. But I’m not saying yes to everything. I do listen to my inner wisdom, and I only do what feels right. I take quiet time and have found ways to increase the balance between doing and being. The only problem in this situation was the critical voice in my head, telling me I should be doing it differently right now. Funnily enough, the only thing that needed doing differently was that voice itself.

The thing I know about myself is this: I like to stretch and challenge myself. What’s a good week (or day, actually!) without something a little scary in it? Facing challenges is a part of building confidence and helps me grow. It helps me learn about myself. It helps me trust myself. It’s one of my biggest keys to business success, wellness, and life enjoyment.

Case in hand; the recording studio. When I found that, despite not playing violin professionally for many years, I still had the chops to go create a decent recording, I felt amazing. I could have said no to that opportunity. I could have missed out on the fun practice time with my violin, which added huge value to my life this month. I could have missed out on seeing an old friend and reconnecting around music. I could have missed out on nurturing my inner musician. I could have missed out on remembering a part of who I am. And I could have missed out on facing yet another scary experience and finding I can totally do it.

Building confidence and self-trust is about walking into the scary stuff, falling down, trying again, learning, and eventually succeeding.

I’ve crashed and burned on the violin hundreds of times. And even this time, I didn’t record the part perfectly by any means. We patched two different takes together for the final product. It simply doesn’t matter. It’s not about perfection. It’s about doing. I’ve failed enough with the violin to enjoy success. I’ve scared myself silly so many times that now I can feel an iron core of strength inside me when I see a microphone and music stand. It’s a juicy challenge.

I’ve been doing some research for a telecourse I’m giving this week, and I’ve been re-reading the book Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Csikszentmihalyi teaches us that optimal experience, or flow, is achieved by a perfect blend of passion and challenge. Easy stuff doesn’t make us happy. During flow, Csikszentmihalyi explains, people experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life.

When I’m in flow, scaring myself with challenges that I adore, I experience a happiness that runs deep. Synchronicities happen. Connection deepens. I know myself more and more. I flourish. I feel healthy.

I don’t actually have Cookie Jar Syndrome. I’ve definitely experienced that before, but it’s not a chronic condition. I’m flowing with the adventure of life right now, and my plate is piled just high enough. Not too much. Not too little. Lots of deliciousness and plenty of fun. Because what is fun, in the end? Not easy stuff. That’s boring! Fun is flow.