- Have you had many different types of mysterious pain/chronic pain syndromes that have either cycled or replaced each other over the years, or you’ve struggled with some vague health complaints and lots of anxiety/stress?
- Have you struggled with vulvodynia, interstitial cystitis, or other forms of mind-body syndromes/TMS?
- Do you feel like you’re so close to understanding mind-body healing, but you can’t quite make it work?
- Have you heard of Dr. John Sarno’s TMS strategies but are having trouble implementing them successfully?
- Do you KNOW there’s a stress-pain connection, but just can’t quite see your way through it?
- Do you wish you had practical strategies that go beyond meditation and mindfulness?
- Do you wish you could feel real hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel?
- Do you want to work with your pain syndrome to discover what it’s trying to show you about yourself?
- Do you feel a constant, nagging pressure to be better than you are, but you’re not sure what that would look like, exactly?
- Do you tend to be hard on yourself and push yourself to achieve, do, and succeed?
- Do you feel like you don’t belong or fit in with most groups and think there’s something wrong with you?
- Have you been called sensitive or emotional, even though you don’t always really allow yourself to feel (or judge yourself for even having emotions)?
- Is your mind sometimes your own worst enemy, and you find yourself overthinking, overanalyzing, and just plain freaked out?
- Are you interested in the law of attraction for healing, but keep getting confused or stuck?
- Do you love working with others or serving in some way, but find yourself forgetting to take care of you?
- Do you want to connect the dots and understand how your pain syndrome is waking you up to more spiritual growth?
- Do you want to create consistent awareness of your inner intuitive wisdom and finally have true happiness?
If anything on this list resonates, you have found your tribe!
Kindness is the path to well-being. Kindness is not an act toward others. Kindness is a state of being within yourself. First, you learn kindness toward you. Then, you are able to spread kindness in your interactions with others. And when you do both, you bring healing to your body, your mind, your spirit, and the world around you. Kindness is the path to healing.
When you are unkind to yourself and criticize yourself constantly, this creates tension in the body. It creates a constant fight-or-flight response, which creates more anxiety in the mind. You look for where you’re doing things wrong, you feel inadequate, and you suffer. Over time, your body will respond with pain and illness because you are unable to allow yourself to relax into who you are. Being who you are in this world is what you’re meant to do. Being you is a beautiful thing. Constantly trying to change you is unkind. Your body and spirit want you to trust yourself, be yourself, and do your work in the world. When you are stopping this beautiful flow with internal criticism, your body will stop you with physical symptoms. The symptoms are sharing great wisdom for you, and you need kindness to yourself to be able to hear it.
From a scientific standpoint, all that tension and fight-or-flight prevents you from living in an optimal state of health. Over time, your body is bound to suffer from this constant stress. When you ignore your body and push past its signals, you suffer. Self-kindness, on the other hand, takes away the stick and provides the carrot. When you live in the state of being called kindness, you flourish. You create health. You trust you.
The symptoms in the above list are all very common for people who don’t yet know how to use the full potential of their mind-body-spirit connection and live in a state of kindness. This is not a problem. It’s simply something that happens from growing up in a society that respects intellect over intuition, and can become exacerbated due to life events like childhood or adulthood trauma. The intellect and ego (in the spiritual sense of the word) are designed to protect us from possible harm, and this is a fabulous thing. However, this creates patterns of thought and behavior within our psyches that do several things:
1) Create emotional and mental suppression habits that allow us to “soldier on” during tough times.
2) Disconnect us from our true source of truth, wisdom, and guidance – our bodies and our intuitive inner wisdom.
3) Create a constant “on guard” experience that causes the body to spend much time in fight or flight, exacerbating anxiety and fear.
4) Create unawareness of our reaction and behavior patterns, which means we are not conscious of them.
The symptoms listed above are all signals asking us to start noticing these mental and emotional suppression habits, begin looking at our unconscious reactions and behaviors, allow our bodies to relax into the present moment, and trust in the guidance of our inner wisdom. Most clients (and myself!) describe this as a feeling of coming home to themselves. When emotions flow, awareness is gained, and the body relaxes, guidance is there for us, all the time. Creative energy flows. We learn to trust ourselves. We become at peace with who we are as a personality, and then we seek to know our true spiritual nature more and more. We heal physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Kindness isn’t about being perfect. Living in a state of kindness is being kind to ourselves about the times when we’re self-criticizing, pushing ourselves, ignoring our bodies, or falling into old patterns that don’t serve us.
Kindness is the path.
For example, most of my clients are startled to discover that self-judgment is simply a suppression habit that pushes down emotions and truth. They don’t know how to stop that unkind habit and begin creating a new, kind way of being that is self-supportive, open to inner wisdom, allowing of emotions, and self-accepting. This is the crux of mind-body healing. It’s about having the tools in hand to connect with the body, the emotions, and the spirit, while observing and relaxing around the mind and all its many thoughts, pressures, stories, judgments, and fears. In the Kindness Community, I give you clear ways to shift from self-criticism to kindness.
Where does this path lead? Kindness is the path to awakening, in the broadest sense of the word. Awakening to everything in your life, from physical well-being to creativity to love to all emotions to all shadow elements to inner truths and finally, the ultimate awakening to your true nature as a spiritual being living in this physical realm. The ultimate awakening lives in those moments of brilliant awareness where you feel the depth of love in which you are held by the larger source that birthed us all. And then you reside in the joy that is being reunited with that love and knowing yourself in an entirely new way. This is the gift of kindness. This is the mind-body-spirit connection at its true potential.
If this sounds like the path you are already on (or would like to be on) and want to continue taking, come join me and the many others who are on this journey, too. It’s not about attaining anything or reaching perfection, but about dropping into the ultimate self-kindness of allowing yourself to be and have everything – from all emotions and shadows to realized dreams and spiritual connection.
Connect in any way you’d like! Join The Kindness Community, get coached, access the many resources, grab the complimentary ebook, The Key to Your Healing Journey, or enjoy the weekly blog posts. You are welcome here, exactly as you are.